


When We Were Young

by mirthful_sonnet



Category: 15th Century CE RPF, The White Queen (TV)
Genre: Angst, Childhood, F/M, First Love, Friendship, Innocence, Training, War
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-01-15
Updated: 2016-09-04
Packaged: 2018-01-08 21:29:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 27
Words: 60,054
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1137586
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mirthful_sonnet/pseuds/mirthful_sonnet
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p><em>''And while our blood's still young, it's so young it runs, and won't stop till it's over , won't stop to surrender.''</em><br/>A take on Richard’s childhood at Middleham.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Arrival

_Middleham,1461_

The three sons of York were waiting patiently for Warwick to arrive, though from time to time Richard would shift in his feet while tugging at the sleeves of his woolen shirt. His stance looked completely different to the one of his older brothers who stood still and regal like the newly made royalty that they were. It had been not long since Towton happened and Richard could not understand how his brother’s could keep themselves so tranquil. They had been distraught with fear and an unending desire for retribution at the fates of their father and brother Edmund, but his older brothers seemed to hardly show any emotion by now except for Richard, who still burst into tears at the most unlikely moment.

   ''Dickon, would you stop shifting around? , you look like you want to pee.'' His brother Edward interrupted him .

   ''My back hurts,'' Richard muttered.

   ''Oh now don’t get upset, we’ll get a physician later all right?'' He said and Richard only nodded. They were interrupted by the sound of the doors opening, with the Earl of Warwick coming out in quick strides followed by his wife the Countess of Warwick.

   ''Your grace,'' Warwick greeted, bowing smoothly and then moving towards Edward, ''It's good to see you.''

   ''It's good to see you too cousin, these are my brothers." He said turning to the boys, "Though I don't think you'd need an introduction to them.''

   ''This must be George.'' Warwick said walking towards the boy with a mop of light brown hair and blue eyes, standing just as still as his tall brother.

   ''Yes he is.'' 

   ''My God, Anne would you look at him?, you’re all legs lad!''

   ''It seems somebody will be as tall as his brother.'' The Countess said smiling before George finally spoke.

   ''I’m glad to finally meet you again cousin, and I look forward to our training with great anticipation.''

   ''Oh he’s well-spoken too!'' Warwick laughed holding George’s shoulders before leaning close, "I also look forward to your stay in here, and I'm sure my wife does as well." he said, pausing when he noticed the small boy standing a few feet from him.

   ''And here we have Richard.'' He said kneeling in front of the younger boy.

   ''Indeed he is.'' Edward replied.

  ''Welcome back to Middleham, Richard.''

  ''Thank you cousin, I’m glad to be back.'' Richard replied simply, quickly searching in his mind for any mistakes in his speech. For now everything appeared to be well. Warwick stood up.

  ''They are both fine boys in their own way,'' Warwick remarked while staring carefully at the brothers before turning to Edward, " I assure your grace that I will care for them as if they were my own sons.''

  ''I trust you will, and I shall come to visit whenever I can, I have great matters to speak to you about.'' Edward said, passing a look between them before turning towards Richard and George.

  ''You’ll be staying here for a good while and I trust that you will behave.'' He spoke with an edge of warning and the boys nodded, ''While you may miss home, this will become a home for you as well and there are many children that will be training by your side. Here you will learn not only the arts of war and chivalry but also etiquette and the management of affairs of state. Here you will become men.'' He finished after a small pause. 

  ''I have two daughters who are looking forward to see you both too.'' The Countess said to them, to which Richard raised his eyebrow in wonder. He remembered Isabel from when he stayed at Middleham a while ago but he didn’t remember seeing another one although he did recall seeing the Countess running after a toddler with ginger hair in the gardens one day.

   ''Take care and be good,'' Edward said as he embraced them both and ruffled Richard’s hair, "I’ll see you soon.'' With a last look to his brothers Edward left with Warwick following close behind.

   ''Boys, I believe that you must be tired from the journey, I’ll show you your rooms.'' The Countess stood by the doorway gesturing to them and both boys followed her suit.

  Later that night Richard could hardly sleep in his room, his back still ached despite the treatment that a physician gave him earlier, which mostly consisted on stretching him. As expected, instead of making him feel better they made him feel a lot worse. 

_Those bloody fools_. 

A banquet was held in the evening and he and George were introduced to Isabel, who seemed to be getting along very well with his older brother by striking spontaneous conversations with him during the dinner. Richard decided that he liked his cousin although she hardly paid attention to him, but she seemed nice enough and she was quite pretty too. He had heard his mother and other people talk about the beauty of the eldest daughter of Warwick, and by just glancing at her in the present he could not help but think that they were very right in their statements. 

Still, he wondered where was this other cousin that the Countess had mentioned. When he asked for her the Countess told him that she was punished for letting the chickens out of their cages near the kitchen and therefore she was to have dinner at her room. It was true what the Countess had said , the cooks were so stressed out at the havoc that they had to come up with something else to serve.  

Richard pushed his blankets aside and decided to send a little prayer to God asking for strength to handle his training, and for what was worth he also asked for a new friend.

 


	2. Meeting

The sun was casting shadows upon the fields of Middleham. In a plain and faded corner a good amount of young boys were resting on the grass with glinting beads of sweat on their foreheads. Some of them were sitting and others were laying down, completely exhausted from Warwick's harsh training session. The place was packed with all kinds of weapons which were only there for demonstration much to their disappointment . 

They had practiced with wooden swords and Warwick allowed them to use the bows for a while, which the boys enjoyed very much. Warwick was satisfied with the pack of boys that he got the privilege to train this year, all of them proved to be strong and very eager to learn. 

Still, while all of the boys demonstrated their skills finely it was Richard who left a strong impression on him. Despite his small frame the boy fought with a style that he’d rarely seen, for Warwick had quickly taken notice of the speed and agility in which Richard moved as he dueled against another boy. Most of the boys he trained were sturdy including both of Richard’s brothers, but Richard’s movements included dodging, jumping on his tiptoes and fooling his opponent. He fought with an apparent grace, it almost looked like he was dancing and Warwick decided that the youngest York brother was one of his favorites.

Warwick dismissed the group of exhausted boys, his yell getting immediately answered by sighs of relief from the youngster's, it hadn't been the easiest session they got. Richard was relieved that the session was over, he was exhausted and the pain in his back was at its full manifestation, and while he hated taking a bath since it made him feel overly embarrassed at this moment he couldn’t wait to be cleaned.

''I’ll see you next week Dickon.'' His friend Francis said him, his face reddened with exertion.

''Of course.'' Richard replied beaming at his friend, he very glad that Francis was here. He wished he and Rob could stay with him but he only saw them a few times in the week. Both boys had been a much welcome addition to his life. Tomorrow he was gonna take music lessons and he found himself anticipating the lessons greatly. He had always loved the arts especially dancing and playing the lute. 

His mind wandered as he remembered his older sister Margaret and the way she would hold his hands while teaching him a new dancing step until both of them would tumble to the ground laughing. He missed his family but he found that he also liked Middleham and its strange quiet beauty. But he wished he had somebody to play with in the afternoons, his brother with his age of twelve rarely had time for him. In the afternoons he found himself accompanied with books and he enjoyed them greatly; most of them were stories of great adventures, chivalrous knights, and mythical creatures. As long as he had his books he would remain perfectly content. 

After another awkward bath with old servant ladies dumping hot water over his head and an embarrassed Richard covering his private parts he was finally clean and dressed. He rushed over to his room and grabbed the book that he was recently reading. He could have decided to read it in the privacy of his room but on his daily walks over the castle he found that he liked sitting in one of the windows of the western tower, which was close to the quarters where the girls took their lessons. The window had a wide block of cement underneath where Richard could easily sit. 

As he began to read where he left off Richard noticed something that stood out from between the raspy pages, and when he pulled it out he realized that this was a worn but colorful bookmark that his brother Edmund had given him not long before he went into irish exile with their father; Richard’s eyes filled with tears instantly at the unwelcome memory, that was the last time that he ever got a glimpse of his energetic older brother. He started crying silently, his tears falling onto the yellow page that he was reading while he covered his face trying to wipe them away.

'Why are you crying?''

Richard jumped abruptly and gasped; his watery eyes taking in the blurry girl that stood in front of him, looking at him sadly.

He wiped his tears away and looked at her. The girl had auburn hair that fell in curls over her shoulders and she held a bouquet of yellow roses with red edges, but what mostly caught his attention were her wide green eyes, they reminded him of a cat. 

''Wh-what?''

''Why were you crying?'' She repeated.

''I wasn’t crying!'' 

''Yes you were, I know because your eyes are all puffy and red.'' 

''No I wasn’t, and even if I was it’s none of your business!'' 

She flinched visibly at his outburst. 

''I’m sorry for bothering you,'' The girl said blankly, moving to walk away.

''No wait!'' Richard called after her and she stopped.

''I’m sorry for being rude,'' he apologized, ''I don’t like to talk about things like that.''

''I understand.'' She muttered, both staying awkwardly silent while she shifted in her feet uncomfortably and Richard tried to prevent the sudden urges to clean his nose.

''Who are those flowers for?'' Richard finally broke the silence.

''I’m helping the servants decorate the dining hall for the evening, it’s part of a punishment but I’m not complaining, I love flowers.'' She said with a smile while touching the roses.

''I see...'' He muttered, realizing that this was the cousin that he hadn’t met yet.

''I haven’t seen you before, are you one of the two brothers that are staying here?'' 

''Yes, I’m Richard. ''

''So we must be cousins!'' She exclaimed delighted and Richard smiled for the first time.

''Anne, where are you?'' A woman’s voice called from the stairs.

''I must go now but it was nice meeting you,'' she said moving away before stopping and turning to him again, ''Oh! and about what was bothering you earlier, I hope you can feel better soon.'' She picked a rose from the bouquet and offered it to him with a small beam.

''For you.'' 

''Um, thank you.'' Richard took the rose almost timidly, very taken by her unexpected gesture.

''You're welcome, and my name is Anne by the way,'' She said and left quickly to return to her endeavors.

''Anne.'' Richard repeated to himself.

Later in the night Richard finished the book he was reading and laid down on his bed, turning to look at the rose that Anne gave to him, which was in a jar by his bedside. He came to the conclusion that he liked his young cousin very much, perhaps more than Isabel, she seemed to be very nice and fun to be with. While reflecting about his cousin, Richard fell asleep thinking that he was looking forward to seeing her again very much.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Excuse the liberty with Francis, in this universe he and Robert are already in Warwick's household.


	3. We are friends

The gardens of Middleham were not very large but they were spacious enough to take a good walk and they provided a great comfort to Richard when he wanted to be alone. Richard had developed the habit of rising early in the morning every day and he took a great fancy for sneaking in the gardens to lay down on the grass and wait for the sunlight to finally reveal itself.

On one of these mornings Richard had been so entranced by the streaks of colors that were mingling across the sky that he barely realized that he needed to get back into his room before somebody discovered him. After a while some part of his mind seemed to register this fact, and Richard quickly shot up into his light feet and ran across the misty gardens with his cloak billowing behind him and the fading mists fairly hiding him from view. Richard didn’t understand the Warwick’s rules sometimes —what’s the deal with waking up at a certain hour anyway?— especially when he didn’t have any lessons today; while he didn’t know the reason he did know that he would be in big trouble if he got caught. 

He didn’t expect to stay that long in the gardens, nor did he expect to get caught by Lady Marguerite when he accidentally ran into her while running up the stairs of one of the towers. Lady Marguerite was the dancing teacher of the children. Richard thought she must have been in a hurry to get to her class.

 _''Madam, I beg of you to please spare me this one, I promise I won’t repeat it again!''_ Richard had begged her when she told him that she would talk of his mischief to his governess. His governess was a horrid crone. After hearing him something passed over her eyes, like she had just realized something. It was then that Marguerite told him that she would not tell a word if he did her a favor and Richard agreed without even thinking about it.

 That was how he found himself sitting on the floor with a lute in his hands and a group of giddy girls in front of him getting ready to dance along to his music. Lady Marguerite was sitting beside him in a chair with a pair of cymbals fitted into two of the fingers in her right hand. As he tuned his lute he raised his head and looked to the group of girls who were whispering and giggling between themselves. He turned red in embarrassment until he noticed that Isabel was among them; and he was even more surprised when he saw Anne who was standing still with a hand on her hip . Anne was dressed in the same grey dress as the rest of the girls and her hair was fully covered by a headpiece. The green eyed girl smiled encouragingly at Richard and he got a fair boost of confidence, with his fingers beginning to strum the strings of his lute, slowly creating the song that was requested by lady Marguerite, who accompanied him with her cymbals. 

Although Richard was dreading playing in front of people, he was quite entertained by the dances that the girls were performing ,they looked as if they were floating across the floor and he found himself especially amused when Marguerite left Isabel in charge while she went to use the loo. Such event only ended up in a hilarious situation when while Isabel was leading the group she was also being mockingly imitated by Anne, who was doing exaggerated movements with her hands and legs behind her older sister while the rest of the girls tried to control their giggles. When the lessons were finally over Richard was relieved, his fingers were sore from so much playing and after Marguerite thanked him all the girls left the room muttering about how hungry they were except for Anne, who made her way over to Richard.

''Richard!'' She exclaimed smiling.

''Now what would your poor sister think if she knew the way you were mocking her?'' 

''I’ve done worse, the girls are having lunch would you like to come with me Richard?'' 

''Of course, I just need to put my lute in my room first.'' He replied, amused at the way Anne jumped and clapped her hands, it seemed to be something that she had been thinking upon.

  They both wandered into his room and he left his lute just above the bed before they made their way into the dining room where lunch was being served. As soon as they entered their faces instantly fell, they were serving pigs entrails. It was something to be accustomed to but they would have rather starved than to eat such a thing, and Anne quickly took matters into her own little hands when she managed to steal green apples and other beverages from the kitchen with a nervous Richard following behind. They both ran with the stolen food into a secluded area in the gardens— the same where Richard had been resting earlier in the morning.

''So you come here every morning?'' Anne asked him curiously, after they finished consuming the apples they laid side by side on the grass staring at the clouds. Their contours reminded Anne of the games she and her sister would play while making shapes out of the shadows of their hands.

''Yes but I don’t think I’ll be able to do so anymore, I may get caught again.''

''Oh that’s a shame.'' 

''That’s my favorite time of the day.'' He said and Anne hummed in reply.

''I prefer the night, when I’m feeling sad I go over to the tower to watch the stars and I feel better!'' She exclaimed stretching her hands above her.

''Why would you be feeling sad?'' 

''Sometimes my sister get’s very angry when I pull pranks on her but I only do it so she can pay attention to me.''

''Oh...I’m sorry, my brother has been ignoring me too, but at least I have Francis and Rob,'' 

'' I don’t have any friends,'' She said quietly, ''but you’re my friend, right Richard?'' she asked turning her head to look at him. She found herself taken by his dark eyes, she had never seen such a pretty thing on a person before .

''Of course, and my friends call me Dickon by the way.''

''Dickon.'' She smiled brightly taking his hand and both of them looked back up to the azure heights without letting go of their tight clutch.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was doing a reread of this chapter and found myself amused when I realized that Richard who has dark features likes the day and Anne who has light features likes the night,it's rather silly but I decided to leave it anyway.


	4. Arrangement

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is very short, I wanted to write about Warwick and his view on Richard and Anne.

  _September, 1463_

  The Earl of Warwick was sitting alone in his study with his eyes staring fixedly at the documents in front of him, but his mind was elsewhere. He couldn’t tell how he got to where he was in the present. The time when the battle of Wakefield took place seemed so far away but it was still fresh on his mind as if it had happened the day before. When Edward was declared king he hoped that would bring an end to the fight. Of course, to hope so was ridiculous, this war would never truly end, at least not while the Anjou bitch and her mad husband would live .While he would never tell about these thoughts to anybody Warwick found himself wondering if these bloody days would ever come to an end. Another rebellion had broken out on the north, and with the time that passed Warwick had learned that if you really wanted to achieve victory in these situations no clemency must be shown. That’s why he executed every single lancastrian rebel that he found on his repossession of the Northumbrian castles—and he did so with no sign of regret.

  He was glad to be back in the north, he really missed his wife and two daughters. At the time of their birth he had tried to not show his disappointment at the fact that they were girls but now he found his family to be one of the very few things in the world that he held dear, especially Anne. His youngest daughter was now at the youthful age of seven and she was growing into a very caring and lovely girl with an exceptional talent for music ,as well as pranking every single soul around her. 

His wards were excelling at every single level of training too, especially George who Warwick had chosen as his personal favorite, even though the young duke was quite brash at times. In spite of the constant war that everyone was fighting Warwick somehow found himself at peace, he had a strong position and he was one of the wealthiest men of England thanks to Edward, whom he respected greatly for his bravery and strength, although Edward’s immaturity and unpredictable ways infuriated him.

  Right now he was working with matters linked to the betrothals of his daughters to the York brothers, which would give him even greater power than the one he already had. _It is quite a beneficial arrangement_ Warwick mused; his daughters had already become close to the brothers so at least they wouldn't be marrying complete strangers, he would never do anything to harm them, especially his Anne. With a sigh Warwick stood up from his seat and went over to one of the windows that overlooked the distant fields. They were covered with tall lilac flowers being swished from side to side with the strong September winds. Middleham was quite a tempestuous place when fall and winter came around, and although most would've found the stormy weather tedious it was quite enchanting for those who truly took the time to take it all in. Warwick’s attention was suddenly caught by the sounds of childish laughter coming from the stirring flowery fields. Even in such a distance anybody could distinguish his youngest daughter's fiery hair. A certain raven haired boy was chasing after her calling her name, they ran and ran while the flowers around them performed their dance until the girl stopped abruptly and the boy collided with her, sending them tumbling to the ground in a fit of giggles and causing flowers to fly up in the air around them.

His eldest daughter Isabel had grown very close to George, but nothing could compare to the pair that he was watching in the distance. Anne had developed such an adoration for her cousin Richard that she was always following him like a lost pup. Richard didn’t seem to mind this, in fact he had grown to adore his cousin just as deeply and that made Warwick approve further of their betrothal, even if the children had no idea of the arrangement.

 _Yes it is quite an arrangement indeed!_ he thought to himself while watching as Richard gently raised Anne up before they both ran into the stormy fields once again with the tall flowers hiding them from view.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so my muse seems to be blocked a little bit with this story since college just started and my mind is filled with other things to do, I was typing a bit yesterday and realized that this story will be just a little bit longer than I intended and it won't have a very happy ending.


	5. A visit from mother

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This isn't the best chapter but I wanted to have Duchess Cecily in one of them.

The nearest forest on Middleham was located some miles away from the castle. Despite the current month of September it was a rather sunny day and it was the perfect time for hunting. Streaks of light peered through the green leaves from branches hovering in the altitude, leaves that clung together like a puzzle and formed a perfect roof for the isolated forest.

 Any movement could barely be seen in the green woods , none except for the slow white puffs of air coming out from the boy who was hiding behind a tree ,perfectly poised with his wooden bow in hand and black eyes seeking for his target, a white rabbit who sits peacefully in an empty spot between the roots of a tree twitching its little pink nose.

 His concentration is broken when he hears the loud snap of a twig behind him and he sharply turns around glaring at his friend Francis, making the boy bow his head in apology.

''Be quiet.'' He muttered and turned back to his target who stood on the same spot and he takes this as the perfect opportunity to shoot; he slowly raised his bow, pointing his arrow at the creature’s head, ready to let go of the string.

"You two left me behind!'' A voice boomed from behind them making Richard lose his focus and shoot the arrow into the tree trunk behind the creature, who hopped away into safety thanks to Robert’s shout.

''What is wrong with you Robert?'' Richard spat, slamming his bow into the ground.

''You should have let me do it Richard.'' Francis said.

''They told me to practice, I had him but Robert had to open his fat mouth," he hissed glaring at Robert who was too busy petting a furry rodent that he had picked off from the ground earlier; he had made it a habit —even if it was a bizarre one— to pick off small animals that he found around Middleham.

The youngest York brother had very particular friends in the eyes of others around him. His friend Francis was a lanky lad who excelled at archery and latin practices; and who due to his innocent personality always found himself as the unfortunate target of the antics of Richard’s older brother George and other wards. Richard suspected that his background had something to do with it, as Francis's father had been a lancastrian supporter. But for himself he could say that Francis was one of the only friends he had.

Robert on the other hand was a particular character. The boy was developing a burly figure and he was the tallest ward in the group which was why nobody dared to bother him. It was actually a very wise choice to not bother Robert, his training sessions were enough proof of that. The Kingmaker usually had to choose his dueling opponent since none of the scared boys would dare to volunteer.  But despite his menacing looks as many saw it Robert was actually a very amiable fellow.

''Listen , we’ll just try again tomorrow all right?'' Francis hurried him, he was very tired after their long journey.

''Sure,'' Richard said. ''As long as Robert keeps his mouth shut,'' He raised his voice, making the rodent on Rob’s shoulder jump and scurry away.

''I’m sorry all right? we can still hunt something else.''

''No we can’t, it’s late already!'' Richard snapped at him

''You are extra grumpy today.'' Robert said, making Richard even more frustrated.

''Of course, anyone hanging with an air head like you would probably lose his mind , which I’m surprised I haven’t lost already!'' 

''Lighten up Dickon, we are just hunting, you’ve been snapping at us during the entire trip.'' Francis said calmly, very used to his friend's changing temper.

''We should probably shove Anne in his face so he can smile more often.'' Robert said making Richard lose his composure and widen his eyes, making Robert and Francis give each other a knowing glance.

''What?''

''Forget it Dickon , why don’t we go back?'' Francis said with the hint of a smirk, leading Richard out of the area.

As soon as they arrived Richard took notice of the crowd that was at the front of the castle, but what mostly caught his attention were the banners that raised high up in the air, displaying the royal badge and the white yorkist rose on their flapping cloths.

 _Of course_ , he had forgotten that his mother Cecily was to visit them today. He spurred his horse forward and jumped into the gravel road as soon as he arrived to the front side of the fortress while his friends went to prepare themselves for supper. The crowd that was gathered outside of the castle was large and he was trying to see if his mother was among them.

''Oh Richard don’t jump off like that into the ground, you'll hurt yourself!'' A woman’s voice said from behind him and Richard turned around, immediately recognizing the scolding tone of his mother.

''Mother!''

''Come here, let me hug you,'' She said crouching on her knees, extending her arms towards him and he quickly rushed into them.

''You have no idea how much I missed you.'' 

''Mother, can’t breathe…'' He puffed out trying to catch his breath. His mother released him and gripped his shoulders taking a good look at him.

''Look at you, only ten and you’re growing so much taller and… oh dear Lord you smell.'' She said scrounging up her nose and raising his right arm.

''Mother please! why don’t you go sniff George instead?'' He squirmed away.

''I don’t think that would be necessary.'' A voice said and he quickly made contact with George’s dark blue eyes staring down at him.

''George,''

''Lady mother.'' He muttered kissing her cheek.

''Where were you? I’ve was looking for you everywhere.'' Cecily said facing him, George had gotten so tall despite being only thirteen that she could already face him directly while for Richard she still had to kneel down to hug him.

''Well I’m here now aren’t I?'' George said and turned his eyes towards Richard. ''You are planning to join us for dinner, aren’t you Dickon?'' 

Richard only nodded without making eye contact with him.

''Duchess Cecily my youngest daughter wants to see you!'' The Countess exclaimed from her place close to the front gate motioning the Duchess to follow her.

''Both of you behave, I shall see you later at the main hall.'' She said giving both of their shoulders a squeeze before going towards the Countess to follow her.

Richard waited until they both disappeared completely out of sight and when they did he turned sharply towards George.

''I bet you and Will were tormenting another boy half your size you coward-''

''Shut up Dickins, stick your nose somewhere else,'' George interrupted him making Richard wince at the much hated nickname, Will was George’s idiotic sidekick. After giving Richard a glare George switched his gaze behind Richard to nod at someone, and his younger brother noticed that the person he acknowledged was Isabel who nods back beaming.

''I don’t know what she sees in you.'' Richard muttered lowering his head and kicking a rock that was on the ground between them.

''Why don’t you listen to mother and take a bath? you really do stink,'' George murmured before making his way over to the eldest Neville sister and leaving Richard alone.

 The banquet was over soon and the two brothers were now currently in their mother’s chamber. She had requested for them both to come to her since she wanted to know about their progress in their lessons. The Duchess was sitting on the carpeted floor while Richard was propped up on his elbows and laying down on his stomach close to her long purple skirts, whilst George was laying down in one of the cushioned furniture’s with a book in his lap.

''…and he already made me his favorite.'' George said proudly, referring to the Kingmaker and his training.

 _''Hmph it’s obvious that he chose you for your muscles rather than your brain.''_ Richard thought while resting his head on his hands.

''That is good to hear George, I’m very proud of you.'' Cecily remarked, very pleased at her son's progress, "What about you Richard? you have barely said anything since we got here'' 

''I’m doing fine,'' Richard said looking down. George had practically made a speech to Cecily about how well he was doing in training and Richard felt very insecure about what he should say. _I was punished for two entire weeks without any lessons to attend_ he thought sarcastically. He and Anne were caught skipping their lessons together and this time there were no dancing lessons offered as a replacement for a good scolding from his governess.

''Just fine? Come on that cannot be it Richard, what about your music lessons? How is that going?'' She asked frowning, she didn’t want to imagine that Richard was having trouble with his lessons. From his place Richard could feel George’s eyes glinting mischievously from above his book waiting for him to confess.

"I..." 

''Richard got punished for hanging out with his ginger friend and now he has no lessons for two entire weeks.'' George interrupted Richard from his place on the couch still staring at the book

''Don’t call her like that, she has a name,'' Richard snapped sitting up from his position on the floor.

''Richard what is he talking about?'' 

''Nothing!'' He said harshly and the three stayed quiet.

 ''I’m very tired, I’ll just leave you two alone to talk.'' George said shutting his book and standing up.

''Goodnight lady mother.'' He muttered bowing to give her a kiss and shooting Richard a sardonic smirk that didn’t go unnoticed by Cecily as he leaves the room.

He sat cross legged on the floor with his head bowed, preparing himself for a lecture from his mother. Some minutes passed and he still didn’t hear anything, which was why as he raised his head he was surprised to see Cecily smiling at him.

''Mother?''

''Now son, explain who is this ''ginger’’ that he was talking about.'' She said looking amused and Richard blushed.

''She-she is my friend, all right?'' He said, looking down and taking a sudden interest in the golden patterns on the carpeted floor.

''Hey now pay attention to me,'' She said raising his chin for him to look at her directly, ''Would you tell me who she is? Is she here? Does she have a title? Is she-''

''Mother!'' He shouted blushing, "It's Anne all right?'' 

''Oh Richard I’m so glad you two are acquainted, she is such a pretty lass!''

''Oh earth please drag me …''

Now his mom was playing matchmaker, in Anne’s case he didn’t think that would be necessary; her crush on him was obvious which sometimes amused him and other times it embarrassed him a little. For now he would just have to stand it, her childish crush on him would surely end soon. In any case he still liked her company although it got him in trouble most of the time.

''Hey don’t be embarrassed, I’m glad you've made friends, and Anne is just so lovely,'' Cecily mused, thinking of the sweet girl who always sought her out when she visited Middleham.

''She is,'' He murmured and Cecily went back to her previous barrage of questions.

''When are you seeing her again? Are you-''

''Oh mother please! Do that to George, he is clearly besotted with Isabel although he’ll never admit it.'' 

''All right son, all right.'' She raised her hands in surrender and then gave a sigh and paused to look at him smiling.

''Just treat her as she deserves all right?''

''Goodnight mother.'' He replied telling her in other words that he was tired.

''Goodnight my son.'' She said while giving him a hug and he quickly ran out of the room with his feet barely making any noise.

 _Hmm I know him as if he was the palm of my hand_ she thinks to herself and prepares herself for bed, the Countess would enjoy hearing this tomorrow.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My hands are full in college but I'll try my best to update as soon as I can  
> Duchess Cecily is not very strict on this chapter she's acting more as a mother rather than a duchess for now.  
> I made a correction to Anne's age on the previous chapter, she is seven!  
> 


	6. A messed up cake

The frozen brick wall behind Richard provided a rare comfort for the pain in his back, the pain seemed almost nonexistent whenever he pressed his back against the icy surface, _almost_.

No, right now he was accompanied by the voice coming out from the music rooms in the lower story. While he had originally taken the habit of coming to the tower to read, with time he had developed another purpose for coming and that purpose was to listen to the voice that sang from the music rooms on each Wednesday mornings.

The sound was so sad and yet so full of life that he was becoming a little infatuated with it.

 When the song ends Richard throws his head back inhaling and exhaling a thick puff of air.

This was a good place

  The amount of time Richard spent sitting made him decide to take a stroll around the castle, which seemed to be completely deserted in the mid-morning air ; the gray atmosphere made it look quite eerie and desolate. His footsteps echoed along the solitary hallways as he ran his way into the yards.

 He finally reached the stables of the castle and peeked through the iron bars of the gate, looking at all the beautiful stallions.

Willing to see more, Richard pulled the lock of the gate to the side and stepped into the stable, leaving the gate ajar. From all of the sturdy horses a particular one that poked his head out of his cage caught his attention and he instantly smiled recognizing which horse it was, it was Anne’s very own horse.

''Hello Lazarus,'' he said, running his hand down Lazarus's tangled grey bangs and the creature moved his head closer to Richard as if asking for more. Everybody made fun of Anne’s horse, including Isabel since he was far too bony and old and therefore not the best looking creature, but Richard found that he liked Lazarus very much.

This particular horse was a gift from Anne’s father on her fifth birthday. He had planned to give her a pony since she was still a small but the little girl demanded that she wanted this one and _this_ one only.

The Kingmaker had taken her to a stable for her to choose her present and when she asked why the bony horse on the corner looked so sad, the horse keeper had simply told her that she wouldn’t want that stupid ugly horse and that he was going to be killed the next week for being so useless, as if that was the most normal thing ever to tell a five year old. Such remark caused the little girl to burst into hysterical tears and beg her father to not let them kill him.

 _Papa no let them kill horse, no let them kill horse_ !

The Kingmaker had no choice but to consent to his daughters cries in her childish language and bought the poor creature for her.

Anne and Richard were the only people who could come close to Lazarus since for some reason he was very nervous around others; Richard couldn’t tell if he was being well taken care off by the horse keepers. Anne had decided to name him ‘Lazarus’ after her favorite story from the bible, which everybody found ridiculous.

''There you are!'' A girl’s chirpy voice exclaimed from behind him

If it was another voice then Richard would have frozen in his place, even with the time he had been spending here he couldn’t tell what was allowed and what wasn’t. However , _this_ particular voice only made him smile immediately.

"Annie,'' He said turning around and she sprinted towards him. 

He gave her a smile that quickly disappeared when he noticed the redness of her face. She stopped in front of him, immediately bending down and resting her hands on her knees trying to catch her breath.

''You look as if you miles to get here! Is scary Harry behind you?'' 

'Scary Harry’ was the spooky head cook from the kitchens, who had chased them both more than once when he had caught them stealing food from his kitchen. However the children didn’t notice that the old cook never once gave them away. In his own rare way he had developed some concern for both children since they were the only ones who acknowledged him.

''Oh no!'' She exclaimed shaking her head and still trying to catch her breath, "Not at all, he actually helped me!'' she laughed and stood straight up.

''Helped you in what?'' Richard asked quirking his eyebrows, he made that expression very frequently and Anne always laughed when he did it. It made him look funny.

''You forgot?'' She asked him with wide eyes.

''Forgot what?'' He questioned, becoming more confused by the second and she laughed.

''Oh Dickon!'' She exclaimed, "You might be as clueless as Robert!"

''I am not!'' 

''Yes you are!'' She said still laughing while caressing Lazarus forehead and Richard rolled his eyes.

''Can you tell me what are you so excited about?'' He asked, tapping his foot and Anne paused for a moment, looking down as if she was not sure what to do.

_What on earth is wrong with her?_

''Would you follow me? '' She took his hand and when he nodded he didn't have time to say anything else before she practically dragged him out of the stable.

She led him through the yard and towards the kitchens, holding his hand tightly as he tried to keep up with her.

When they entered the empty kitchen she led him into the additional room in the kitchen where the cooks had their dinner.

The room was completely made of wood, and there were a few openings on the upper walls where sunbeam rays came through and small bits of dust could be seen floating in the air.Richard noticed that the room had an extra oven made of bricks, which was currently smudged in black. He thought that the room smelt as if something had burned, however his attention was soon caught by the covered plate in the middle of the dining table. He looked at Anne and she smiled nervously.

''Annie?'' He was confused and she lent close to him.

''It’s your birthday Richard…''

_Oh…_

Richard raised his eyebrows, realization quickly dawning on him. Anne was right, he might be as clueless as Robert, perhaps even more. How could he have forgotten? He was turning eleven!

''I actually made you something but...'' She said shifting in her little feet and he wanted to laugh at how amusing she looked while doing that.

''But what?'' 

''Here let me show you…'' She went hesitatingly to the table. After a pause she took the handle of the container that was covering the plate and raised it.

Richard widened his eyes as he stared at the cake on the table.

_Well at least it looked something like a cake..._

The cake was ruined with crumpled pieces around it, the edges were completely burnt and there were blotches of white cream all around its spongy surface. Still, Richard couldn’t help but feel a huge wave of tenderness consume his heart, the same he felt when Anne had given him that rose which he had taken gratefully while smiling at her through his swollen eyes.

When he turned his head he sees that she has her head bowed in embarrassment, she obviously knew she made a complete mess.

 _What was I thinking? He’s probably disgusted with me now! This wasn’t worth it!_ She lamented in her mind

She probably should have asked scary Harry to prepare it instead of asking him for instructions and try to make it herself.

''Dickon I…'' She started but was suddenly interrupted when he pulled her to him embracing her tightly.

Richard wasn’t openly affectionate towards others but it seemed that when it came to his favorite cousin all he wanted to do was to throw those stupid thoughts away and evaporate them like smoke.

After a long while Anne managed to recover from her shock and sneaked her arms around him, carefully returning his warm embrace. She could say that she felt like she was burning right now, his warmth didn't make that much easier and she was glad that he couldn't see her face, which she was sure that was just as red as her hair.

''Thank you Annie.'' He said.

''Happy birthday Dickon.'' She said, in response he only laid a kiss on the top of her head.

_Maybe it was worth it_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay I'm not sure how I feel about this chapter but I wanted to try and feature a mini birthday for Dickon and I also wanted to introduce Anne's horse.  
> 


	7. Of electrical storms and absent brothers

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Richard giving a slight reflection on an unusual habit he has, the weight of his position and George.

_Ten, nine, eight, seven, six,…_

Richard counted silently in his head while waiting for the next set of lightnings to claim the black heights.

Lightning storms were not the thing that set most people at ease during the night. The white, vein-like contours that flashed across different corners of the sky as if they were playing an unusual game of hide and seek only tended to scare people away. However, Richard wouldn’t say he hated the roaring phenomenon’s completely.

 _Not quite_ he thought staring at the patterns on the ceiling above him while he remained in a still position , with sheets far too wrinkled due to his earlier shifting around the soft surface of the bed. Others may think him crazy but he loved thunderstorms, especially in the night like just now, he couldn’t tell why exactly.

 The lights that flashed across the sky were like a mighty presentation from God himself to the world and Richard always got excited when they happened. The weather had been like this for almost a week now and he was loving everything about it. With time he had developed rare habits that mainly consisted on sneaking out to watch the wonders that the earth held. To Richard, mornings and lightning storms on Middleham were his favorite things to contemplate, mainly when fall and winter arrived as strange as it sounded, as most people preferred warm and carefree summers. He smirked when he suddenly remembered who he decided to bring the other day to watch the flashing rays on the sky.

Anne was so nervous that she was practically crushing herself against his back since they were riding on Lazarus until they finally arrived in an old ruined cottage near the woods.

They had discovered the old cottage some time ago during one of their many escapes from their most hated lessons, although they had never entered the ruined structure. It was situated on a small hill that led down to the secluded forest and they got a perfect glimpse of the distant white rays that were shooting out of the sky and impacting the grayish fields that stood miles away from the castle.

He showed her how to count before a thunder started and she got a hang of it pretty quickly, her fear soon replaced by excitement which led them to laugh and cheer loudly whenever the deafening roars in the sky would be heard . He could say that he was looking forward for a repetition of the merriment of that evening very much, he needed it now more than ever.

With every passing day Richard was suddenly becoming more and more aware of the position he was in and the difficulty that came with it. When he was named the duke of Gloucester he didn’t know exactly what such title could mean nor the other ones granted by his brother; still, he acted as he was proud and content with the new authority he held, since his mother as well as everyone around him kept saying how important his position was as well as how he should always submit and serve to his brother the King.

He was more determined than ever to prove his loyalty and value to his brother Edward , who he thought was the bravest person on earth. Nevertheless, it did not mean that he didn’t want to get some time out to escape from his duties—perhaps with a certain lass by his side— those seemed to be the only times where he could act as he desired. Though he felt that someday it wouldn't be the same.

The loud boom of yet another thunder snaps Richard out of his thoughts, his eyes suddenly aware of a passing shadow underneath the door of his bedroom. Whoever the person was, he was probably having a hard time finding sleep.

Uncommonly, Richard found it easier to sleep during storms. The sound of the falling rain joined by the heavenly rumblings were like no other lullaby he had ever heard, and they always helped him fall asleep faster than anything else.

However, in this moment he was having trouble finding the so longed for sleep that he wanted. The one thing that was keeping him awake was nothing but a small memory hidden in a deep corner of his mind, a memory he had not bothered to bring out of that small corner to contemplate for some time, a memory that took place on a ship years ago, a ship headed for a place that he didn’t know and a ship where he probably got the last trace of the brother he once thought the world of.

The aftermath of the realization of his father and brother’s tragic fates were a blur of tears and panic for him that day.The usually composed personality of his mother broke before his young eyes , making Richard see his mother in fear for the very first time ever as she said goodbye to him and George, repeatedly assuring them that all would be fine.

Richard was so lost and confused that as soon as he realized that his mother wasn’t coming with them he began wailing and demanding to be brought back. But nobody listened to his desperate cries, making him feel completely hopeless until he felt a sudden warmth on his small hand, making him turn his head, his blotchy face suddenly taking in his older brother George who was looking at him seriously as they got ready to board the ship.

‘ _I got you Dickon’_ he had said holding his little brother’s hand and putting his other hand on Richard’s back to lead him inside the ship which was ready to set sail and was only there waiting for the two of them to finally board.

It would be unexpected to know that the origin of Richard’s fondness for lighting storms were connected to George. Richard had not been so fond of them at the beginning —in fact he was terrified of them —but that stormy night he spent on one of the cabins of the ship covering his ears due to the strong lighting storm got his brother George to show him another side of the events in the sky.

_''Ahh!'' Richard screamed as another loud boom was heard_

_''Richard don’t be such a pansy, I can’t believe that you always make a fuss over silly things like lightings.'' George said turning in his bed to glare at his younger brother; Richard was terrified of lightning storms and back at home George usually had to watch over him many times to make sure his brother fell asleep—by order of his mother of course._

_''But what if the lightings hit the ship and then we sink?!'' Richard whined, uncovering his ears and hugging his knees from his position on the corner of his bed._

_''They won’t hit the ship you clot, lightnings won’t do us any harm you know why? '' George asked and Richard only shook his head._

_''Because it’s a sign of God’s protection.'' George replied, to which Richard frowned in confusion._

_''But they’re so scary, they can’t be from God if they are so scary! ''_

_''There’s something more to lightnings if you think about it.''_

_''How do you know that they mean God is protecting us?'' Richard asks, covering his ears once again when another set of lights flashed across the room giving him a swift gleam of George’s blue eyes staring at him._

_''Because of the white rays of course.'' George said flatly, hyper-aware of the way Richard was looking at him as if he had gone mad._

_''That doesn’t make any sense.'' Richard finally said after a pause._

_''Oh but it does, if you knew the story you would see lighting storms in a whole different way.''_

_''What story? ''_

_''The story of how thunder and lightnings were made.'' George responded._

_''Oh please…''_

_''Fine, it’s your loss then.'' George turned his back to Richard and pretended to fall asleep._

_''No, please tell me George!'' Richard implored and George smirked. His brother was so predictable._

_''Alright, I’ll tell you little brother.'' George said sitting up on his bed._

_''How did it start?'' Richard crossed his legs on the bed and looked at him expectantly._

_''Well, there was a day when God was resting in paradise with the fairest and most beautiful angel by his side but the angel was wicked and he wanted to rule over earth, so he came up with a plan to fool God, Lucifer was the angel’s name.'' George explained, amused at the way Richard widened his eyes._

_''Lucifer! As in…''_

_''Exactly.'' George answered and continued his narration._

_''So the angel came up to God and said: My lord, you do know that I’m the fairest angel out there and that I would do you no harm which is why I would like to govern the earth on your behalf.''_

_''What did God say?'' Richard asked George, laying down on his bed._

_''God replied kindly to Lucifer: 'Well you may have what you desire then, but you’ll only have all the places your eyes see in darkness' and Lucifer went away thinking: ''oh that God is such a fool, letting himself be tricked by a poor devil in disguise like me!'' George imitated the devil’s voice, making Richard smirk._

  _''What happened next? '' Richard asked, feeling a hint of drowsiness._

  _''Well afterwards Lucifer went to rest, completely sure that he had what he wanted since he saw that everything on earth was black. But the next day, when Lucifer went into earth to begin his rule he was shocked to discover that everything was white, the good and wise lord made it snow on earth! '' George exclaimed and Richard widened his eyes._

  _''And Lucifer full of anger created thunders to scare all of the living beings on earth but God being the wiser one created a white light to go with the thunders, so that he could remind his children on earth that he was with them and those strange little beams of light he created were known as lightning’s until this day.'' George finished and the storm roaring outside of the ship no longer made Richard feel scared, instead, as George finished the story Richard heard the storm in a whole different way that made him feel sleepy._

_''That’s, very nice…'' Richard slurred, making George feel relieved that he accomplished what he was trying to do._

  _''Sleep now Richard, we’ll be in Burgundy soon.'' George said turning around and a thick silence filled the small space between the two brothers._

  _''Are papa and Edmund with God now?'' Richard asked after a long silence._

  _''I don’t know Richard, go to sleep please.'' George was irritated that he brought that up and attempted to fall asleep once again, only to open his eyes slowly after a moment and slightly turn his head to the side._

  _''What did you think of my story?'' George whispered not sure if Richard had fallen asleep._

  _''Hmm…think I like lightning storms now…good night George...'' Richard dropped incoherently, the reverberating sounds of his slow breaths around the room telling George that his younger brother had finally fallen asleep._

  _''Good night Richard.'' George said faintly before falling asleep as well._

Richard didn’t know exactly when was that the brother who used to care for him changed so drastically. Even with the time that passed, he still remembered all those stormy nights back at home when his brother would watch him from the door of the bedroom waiting for him to fall asleep. George had always been brash since Richard had control of his senses but he also cared deeply for his little brother. However, that was a far cry from the mean, harsh and ignorant boy he was now.

A part of Richard thought that George took the events of the battle of Wakefield differently, maybe George did not let the news of their father and brother’s deaths fully sink into his conscience until…well he didn’t know exactly when. George barely spared a word to him after Edward’s coronation and Richard had practically become invisible to George from the day when they arrived in Middleham two years ago. That was all accompanied with a sense of entitlement that Richard couldn't decipher yet. In the present, his brother only paid attention to Richard with the purpose of taunting him.

The truth was that Richard had been very upset at the way his brother was treating him. He was so confused and distraught by it at the beginning that he asked constantly to himself if he offended George in any way and he was always trying to find an answer to why George hated him all of the sudden. 

Whatever the reason for his brother's behavior was he’d never know and he had gotten over it in the course of the years, he had his friends at least but he still missed his brother and that was the truth, although he would never admit it.

He thought that perhaps the reason of his fondness for electrical storms was the fact that they make him think of his brother, not the one from the present but the one he once loved and sought comfort from when he was just a scared little boy in a world far too ruthless for his young mind to comprehend.

With these remaining thoughts in mind the sly claws of sleep claimed Richard as he thought of white rays, bedtime stories and the warmth of George’s hand in his, telling him that he would never leave him.

As Richard slept soundly he would never see that the person outside on the hallways had faintly opened the door of his bedroom to make sure he was fast asleep in the midst of the storm roaring outside of the castle.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wanted to focus on the relationship between Richard and George for this chapter, it was a little sad writing about this especially with Richard thinking George hates him, that's not true.  
> 


	8. Discipline

   Margaret of Anjou had become something of a legend and the news of her enterprise traveled around every place imaginable; from the sandy outskirts by the ocean to the deep bosom of England. Everybody knew of the queen, the she- wolf, the driving force behind the Lancastrian army who led bloody battles and ruled England through her disoriented husband. Richard doesn’t know what he feels as he stared at a portrait of the she-wolf in one of the old books he found around the library but he doesn't like it. The Middleham castle had many old things on its interiors. It had old rooms, old books and old people. His mind wandered as he made memory of the worn wooden clavichord on the main music room, where Anne spent most of her time playing songs enthusiastically for anyone who could lend their ears.

  The young duke enjoyed the antiquities that Middleham held and he always discovered something new inside and outside of the castle.However, as he stares at this portrait he could not say that he was pleased with his sudden discovery. His mother had told him that it wasn’t good to hate but he thinks that what he feels for this woman could be something of the sort. In spite of this, Richard could not keep his eyes off the portrait that was etched upon the raspy surface of the book. She looked like a lioness ready to attack her prey, with a golden mane tumbling down her arms and her eyes like two frozen lakes that drew Richard in wonder, but not a pleasant kind, as they felt more like traps. As if the perilous beauty displayed on the yellowing page was bewitched so you would stare at her eternally until she dragged you inside with her.

  The distant vibrating sounds of a rebec pulled Richard out of his reverie, the boy suddenly becoming aware that he was leaning towards the book in a way that he almost had his forehead pressed against it. Richard shuts the book covered in brownish fragments of newborn goat skin and stands up from the floor, leaning back in an attempt to soothe the angry pain in his back. The unusual curve on his spine was starting to raise itself slightly and Richard could not stand it. He carefully put the book below his pillow as he could get in trouble for taking something that did not belong to him, in fact there were many things that were forbidden. The matter was that he only found out that they were forbidden once he got caught and beaten without even knowing what he did wrong.

  The most recent beating he had received had been last month after he overheard the Kingmaker refer to Margaret of Anjou as the Anjou 'bitch'. Richard did not know what that word meant but he guessed that it was an insult from the way the Kingmaker seemed to almost spit out the word as if it was a rotten fruit. However, when he asked his governess what that word meant it only led to the worst berating he ever received in his life. His punishments had become harsher since he became eleven last month. He felt there was a change in everything. As if people regarded him as an adult already when he was still a boy. 

  His escapades with Anne were gone as the children had once made plans to meet in the western tower but Richard bailed out, unaware that he had made his cousin wait for hours in the cold air until she left confused and hurt. She still visited him after his training sessions in an attempt to talk to him but he would only exchange a few words with her, trying to hide his embarrassment. He had seen her a few days ago when he was passing by the stables of the castle; he had stopped for a moment when he had noticed a red gleam by the corner of his eye and when he turned his head he saw Anne sitting on the hay covered floor with a very sick looking Lazarus lying close to her as she muttered words of console and encouragement, he wanted to go over her to ask her what was happening but Richard left before she could see him in spite of how every part of his being screamed in protest. If he wanted to be like his brothers he had to stop behaving like a child and follow the rules, boys did not pass their time with girls. His friends Francis and Robert were not pleased with his sudden change in behavior especially Francis who despite his quiet demeanor always voiced his thoughts when necessary, and he did not waste time to tell Richard how unfair he was being.

_You are turning out like your idiot brother, don’t talk to me until my friend Richard comes back._

His governess however, thought that her pupil was finally becoming a real man.

Right now he was considering the idea to go outside, his rituals of contemplating his surroundings had decreased but they had not stopped completely. Still, the sudden crescendo of the ballad coming from the upper stories made him change his mind. The distant melodies from the rebec guided him through the stairs and the long hallways until he finally stopped by the slightly opened door of the main music room. The small space between the door and the wall revealed none other than his cousin Anne sitting in a chair with her small feet dangling from the seat and a wooden rebec supported on her knee, the measured glides of the thin bow across the firm strings emitting a slow melody that sounded both spirited and melancholic at the same time, her talent for the rebec and the clavichord were not unknown to Richard. Richard leaned his head on the doorway watching his cousin play the tear drop shaped instrument carefully, the ivory curtains reflecting sun rays that melded themselves around her in a saffron aura, which was only refined by her crimson head. He didn’t care what the day looked like outside anymore, she was the day itself, a quiet spring morning with a fiery crimson sky above. Her face displayed what Richard had seen frequently during the times they had spent here playing songs for each other, those were the moments when Anne seemed to be in an alternate world where nothing else existed except her and the musical instrument, as if the walls around her could crumble and she would not notice. The sight of that concentrated look on her pretty face implanted a seed of longing in him. He wanted to break those barriers that he himself set up between them.

''Missing your little friend Dickins?''

Richard didn’t need to wonder who was the owner of the taunting whisper behind him, the nickname was enough to know, he would be surprised to find George wandering around this part of the castle but he was not because he thought he had a good idea of what-no, _who_ George was looking for.

 ''Leave me alone George,'' 

 ''I’m just showing concern that’s all.'' 

 ''What I do is not of your concern, and don't call me that.''

Richard was not sure if George replied back because his attention went back to his cousin, unaware that his brother was perceiving the way he was staring at Anne while Richard didn’t have a clue of how obvious he was making himself.

''You should stay away from her.''

Richard turned his eyes away from Anne abruptly, now that was something he never expected George to say.

''What are you talking about?''

''Don’t ruin what you have already gained, if you go back you’ll only lose it with no chance of ever getting it back.''

''I was only watching! '' Richard whispered harshly

 George reached for his chin and turned his head towards the scene playing on the center of the music room.

''You’ll never get anything from wasting your time with insignificant little girls, you need to let go of the things that make you a weakling, she will only distract you.''

 A thousand protests gathered at the tip of Richard’s tongue but he kept them inside and stared blankly at the scene in front of him, the cold pads of George’s fingers making themselves prominent on his chin.

''You don’t seem to think that way when your wandering around the tower looking for Isabel.'' Richard said flatly, staring back at George, who only narrowed his eyes.

''Just think about what I said.'' He replied and as quickly as he appeared he departed from the spot, leaving Richard alone with his thoughts. Of course he knew how important his position was, he knew that he was a prince, a son of York but what was he doing so wrong that people were constantly swarming over him like a flock of killer crows. The cessation of the music pull his eyes back to Anne who jumps down from her chair with a pleased grin at her work as she examined the pads of her sore fingers. Richard had the urge to go inside and make his presence known to her but it seemed that his brother’s words had nailed him to his spot by the door.

 From the corner of her eye Anne suddenly felt that somebody was in the room and her eyes drifted from her red fingertips to the door, where her cousin Richard stood rooted in his spot with an unfathomable look on his face. A wide smile immediately made its way to Anne’s face as she realized that it was him and a heavy relief swarmed over her as she thought that her friend had finally come back, but these feelings disappeared as quick as lighting when she attempted to walk towards him and he only stepped back from her. Her smile wavered and disappeared slowly when she noticed the blank expression on his face.

 ''Richard…''

 At the sound of his name he couldn’t take it anymore and turned around leaving his spot by the door and walking away. Whatever his cousin was feeling was negligible now, boys did not care.


	9. Our wrongs

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a short chapter.

 The bird glided among the arctic streams of wind. It gave the creature the appearance of a light feather floating in the air, looking for a surface to rest its tired frame.

_Richard_

The grounds were already covered in thick blankets of snow and the sky was at its full display of grayish nothingness, confirming the end of November. Distant black orbs lock onto the bird that flies gently across the pale day of December, its tiny legs stretching forward to stand in nearby branch. The freezing breeze brings a strange sense of peace, as if you could just fall asleep on the ground…

_Richard, look out!_

  In an instant, Richard is pulled back from his thoughts abruptly due to Francis’s shout, with the feelings of a warm liquid running from his nose and the frozen ground burning his knees making their presence known in the most acute way. These feelings make him realize three things, first, that he is on the training ground, second, that he had almost fainted, and most importantly, that Will’s fist is coming directly at his face. He moves his head swiftly to the side making the older boy miss his target but the abrupt movement that Richard made with his already aching head turn everything blurry in an instant, making him fall forward onto the ground with the blood from his nose staining the white snow.

''Richard stand up!'' Robert's voice shouts from the crowd of cheering boys surrounding the two lads. It was moments like this when George’s friend took his opportunity to use him as if he was one the training dummies used for punching. He was the brother of the king after all, and Will would not dare to do that outside of training.

Despite the shouts from his friends he doesn’t find the will to stand up, he’s barely aware of what Will is doing until he feels the tip of something pressing into his front of his doublet. As soon as he recovers his sight the large silver blade of Will’s sword comes into view and he knows that he just lost the duel. With a scowl he grabs the blade and pushes it away brusquely.

''Oh upset I beat ya Dickins?'' 

''Sod off Will.'' Richard sneered at the older boy while rubbing the back of his head.

''Recess!'' The instructor yelled and called over two young wards to help him set up the butts for the archery session.

  Despite Francis and Robert’s shouts the trio were still not on talking terms due to his sudden change in behavior. The fact that he got beaten by somebody as repulsive as Will who was now grinning widely and basking in the attention of the younger wards, and that Francis and Robert were currently talking among themselves without sparing him a glance made his frustration worse. By the corner of his eye he made out the frame of a small girl coming his way. As soon as he turned his eyes directly towards the person he froze as he realized that the person was Anne, who walked among the large field of snow with a straw basket hanging from her elbow.

_Oh no…_

  It didn't take long for the boys around him to start snickering between themselves which made Richard’s face turn three shades of red like a traitorous camouflage. Her walk turned into a full sprint making Richard turn his head away unsure of what to do. From across, Francis and Robert also noticed Anne and waved at her, her face breaking out into a wide grin as she made her way towards them. Richard walked away trying to avoid her but then he stopped when he heard Anne shriek loudly, making him turn his eyes quickly to her in worry but the commotion was quickly forgotten when he saw that it was just Anne being lifted off the ground by Robert, who looked like he was squashing her due to his gigantic frame.

   Richard was not surprised or angry at the action, as it was something Robert tended to do as his own annoying way of greeting, with Anne being his favorite target. Robert put a squirming Anne down while Francis covered his mouth trying to hide his laughter. He watched the display of affection between his friends, wishing to do nothing more than to join them in their mirth. In one of the corners he could make out his brother George watching him carefully and he was suddenly reminded of what he told him. A stern voice slithered onto his mind as he made memory of his brother’s words.

_You need to let go of the things that make you a weakling, she will only distract you_

''Richard?''

While Richard remembered his brother’s words he did not realize that Anne had made her way towards him . He looked at her uncertainly and she frowned.

''Richard I brought you food.''

''What?'' He asked stupidly, some of the wards including William had their attention on them.

''I said I brought you food.'' She replied slowly as if she was talking to a child, and Richard took that as means to give in to what his brother said, who did she think she was talking to?

''Why?''

'' What do you mean why? I always bring green apples for you and the boys.'' She remarked pointing towards Francis and Robert, where Francis stood looking at them curiously and Robert was eating his beverage oblivious to the scene before them.

'' Well, I don’t need it.'' He said turning around to walk away from her but she stopped him, regarding him with wide eyes as she noticed his bruised nose.

''My God, are you hurt?'' she asked in shock with her hand hovering over his face and he groaned turning away once again to walk away.

'' Hey, where are you going? I want to talk to you Richard!'' Anne shouted, turning him around by putting her small hand on his shoulder.

'' I don’t want to talk to you Anne.'' He said through gritted teeth ignoring the hurt look that flashed across her face.

'' Why not?'' 

''I just don’t all right?''

''What’s wrong with you? Did my father tell you something?'' 

''Just leave!'' He exclaimed, his voice rising slightly. From behind her, he can see Francis slowly coming towards them with a guarded stance and Robert who stood behind now with an angry look on his face. He attempted to walk away once again.

''Why are you being so mean to me? I thought you were my friend.'' She said with her voice breaking.

''Why don’t you just leave me alone?! We are not friends!'' His voice echoed around the place with an awkward silence following. He looked at the wards who stood with their mouths agape at his shout.

 When he turned towards Anne he froze as he noticed how her face crumbled into tears, dropping her basket with a single green apple falling forth from it. Francis stood close to them, shocked by Richard’s outburst while Anne wept uncontrollably into her hands with her shoulders jerking up and down. The sound of her cries made something freeze in Richard, his face falling in guilt.

He reached for her with his hand but she jerked back revealing her swollen red face, making Richard feel worse than he already did.

''Anne...'' He muttered, not knowing what else to say.

Anne whimpered and turned around grabbing her skirts and running back into the castle, with neither Francis nor Robert attempting to stop her.

''That's it children, your recess is over! Lovell you are next!'' The instructor shouted breaking the silence, making the wards forget about what happened and go back to their duty.

''Nice one Richard.'' Francis muttered as he brushed past Richard followed by Robert, who only glared at him. As the group moved towards the blanks preparing for the archery session Richard stayed behind, his eyes only taking in a straw basket on the ground, a green apple lying still between coats of snow and the petite shape of Anne running back to the castle.


	10. Conclusion

   Richard’s bad mood was the perfect complement for the arctic atmosphere around the castle. While the winter breaks from training used to bring him happiness right now he wished he had something better to do. He tried to play his lute but it would not amount to anything but boredom, he searched for his books but remembered that he had thrown them out in a fit , and most importantly he searched for _her_ but it was as clear as the snow falling outside that she did not want anything to do with him. He did not blame her for he did not even try to apologize after he screamed at her in front of everybody. His pride always got on the way when he tried to recognize his faults. Still, he managed to swallow that shameless pride in time and did what he could to find his friend in the past few days, which he only achieved on two occasions. Still, his apologies were only answered by a freckled nose stuck high into the air and long strides from her small feet. He could not help but be slightly frustrated at her unforgiving nature.

_A Neville in every sense of the name_

  The first try was when he found her with her sister while the girls were making their way to the yard but it was of no use mainly because her sister rushed her far from him, which angered him greatly. His other try was at the banquet that was arranged for the wards to celebrate their progress throughout the year. Such ceremony captivated the eye of every single person in the dining hall, as young boys clothed in black uniforms with golden trims strode into the hall in straight rows while escorting the girls from the household. When December arrived at Middleham, aside from breaks from training, it also meant an alarming number of banquets and dances. Nevertheless, the event that brought instant joy and delight to everyone only brought misery to Richard as he perceived the way Anne would ignore him every time he tried to come near her. It was not only her obliviousness that implanted the dreadful feeling of guilt and desperation in Richard, but also the occasional flashes of hurt that he would see in her face from time to time as she danced with Francis (her chosen escort), who looked helpless at the tension between his friends.

   That tension was also noticed by the Kingmaker, whose usual stoic face was narrowed into a deep frown as he noticed how Richard and Anne did not enter the hall together. Needless to say Richard spent the entire banquet sulking in his chair and watching as everyone danced along to the mirthful music played by the minstrels. Everybody left to the point that only he and scary Harry were left in the room.

   _Richard pressed his forehead against the wooden surface of the dining table, it felt like he was nailed to his chair, for some reason he did not have the will to stand up and leave. The light from the room was fading slowly, it would only be a matter of time before they closed the doors. From a small distance scary Harry could be heard whistling a song while taking all the leftovers from the tables so he could feed the pigs later. When he came across Richard he gave the boy’s bent shape on the table a weird look ._

_''Was me food that disgusting laddie?'' Harry’s gruff voice broke through his conscience, making him raise his head with a deep red spot in his forehead due to the pressure of the table. Harry took all the food in front of Richard and threw it in a pot that he was carrying under his arm._

_'' I was not hungry.''_

_''That’s surprising since ye and the birdie don’t waste time to steal the food from me kitchen'' Harry said in that strange accent of his while he threw more remnants into the pot. ‘’Birdie’’ was Harry’s nickname for Anne._

_''Sorry about that.'' Richard replied smiling slightly but the smile quickly disappeared when he remembers how long it had been since he and Anne did that._

_''I don’t think yer sorry one bit laddie.'' Harry said throwing a dirty handkerchief from the table over his shoulders, the cloth making a slapping noise on the old man’s back. Richard only slumped his shoulders in response and Harry frowned, '' yer not normally this dreary boy, go to yer room before they catch ya.'' he said and departed from the hall._

_Richard groaned and leaned his head on the table once again. He almost drifted off but a sudden pinch in his shoulder make him stand up abruptly knocking his chair backwards in the process._

_''For Christ sakes Dickon!'' When Richard turned he was more than surprised to see Francis, who stood with his hands raised in defense and his wide brown eyes staring at him in shock._

_''Francis? What are you doing here?''_

_'' I wanted to talk to you quickly, all right?'' Francis replied carefully , his hands still raised protectively_

_'' I thought you and Robert had dismissed me from your lives completely.''_

_'' Come on Richard, you know who’s to blame for that.'' Francis said irritated._

_'' Are you here to judge me now? I’m sorry alright?!''_

_''I know you are sorry but I think there’s somebody else you need to say that to.'' Richard stared at Francis in confusion until he realized who he was talking about and scoffed._

_'' Well, she’s not exactly making things easy for me.''_

_'' You won’t get anywhere with that attitude Richard, you need to try again.'' Francis’s words carried an edge of worry and Richard stares back at him uncertainly._

_'' What are you talking about?''_

_''Listen, just talk to her.'' Francis said pointedly and Richard remained confused but he nodded anyway._

_''All right, I will.'' At that Francis exhales a sigh of relief._

_''Good... I’ll see you tomorrow then?'' Francis asked and Richard knew this was Francis’s way of saying that he was forgiven and smiles slightly._

_''Yes, I’ll see you tomorrow.''_

Francis nodded and retreated quickly from the room, with his black uniform blending into the shadows of the barely lit dining room until he disappeared completely through the entrance. Richard was suddenly happy that Francis accepted him back but Francis's display of worry for Anne left a tedious and abrasive feeling of confusion and uncertainty. Did he really hurt her that bad or was something else happening to her? He hoped with all his being that it wasn’t either. 

As Richard reflected on his short encounter with Francis he did not notice that nighttime was already claiming the sky. It appeared that Francis was sure that Anne would come to her senses soon. Was she truly that upset after his outburst? Anne did not have any close friends like him. A sense of panic took hold of him as he thought that maybe he had lost her forever. He should have known better than to listen to the ridiculous advice from his brother and governess. He had been compared to his older brothers very often and he had been hyperaware of how people labeled him as some kind of spare from the family. That’s why he had given his all to prove that he could be a deserving prince, a true York; that he could be more than just the insignificant boy that people made him out to be. But of course his reaction was nothing but a childish one.

He never felt more unhappy as he did now, for Anne’s friendship was one of the most precious things in his life and he had taken that for granted . Recognizing this was far more painful than he ever thought. But regardless of whatever may come he came to the conclusion that he could be whoever he wanted to be despite what everybody thought. If he did not live up to people’s expectations then so be it, he could care less about what they thought now, all he knew is that he wanted Anne back.

With that thought he quickly made his way to the west wing of the castle and climbed down the spiral stairs that led into the quarters where Anne’s room was. He reached the last room in the hallway which was secluded from the rest and hidden by a rather large stone wall. He walked past the wall and stood in front of the large maroon door. He raised his fist to knock on the wooden surface but his fist stood suspended in the air as he heard sniffs coming from the other side of the door.

''Anne? '' He asked worried and when he didn’t hear anything he knocked on the door, "Anne, are you there?"

For a moment he didn't hear anything and attempted to knock on the door again until he heard her voice coming from the inside of the room.

''Ri- Richard? Is that you?''

Her voice clearly sounded as if she had been crying and Richard grew desperate for her to open the door.

''Yes!'' He said and there was a long pause before Anne finally replied.

''You should not be here '' She said, her earlier surprised tone changing quickly into anger.

''Anne…''

''Listen Richard, I really want to be alone.''

''Anne, I didn’t mean to''

''That was weeks ago! I get it now Richard, I’m just a silly little girl but I’ll spare you the embarrassment from now on , now leave!'' 

He never heard such hurt and contempt in her voice which had always been full of warmth for everyone. At this realization Richard began to panic more and more. He was losing her and he _couldn’t_ let that happen.

''Anne please you- you have to listen to me, I’m sorry! I never should have said those things! Let me talk to you! Please!''

''Go away!'' She shouted angrily, even the wooden doors couldn't prevent Richard from receiving the full message that she did not want him there; he stood completely stunned in his place by the door until Anne spoke again, her tone much lower, ''Richard…just please leave me alone, '' She said with a broken voice , Richard opened his mouth again but nothing came out of it and when he did it again another voice interrupted him.

''Didn’t you hear her? She said she did not want to talk to you,''

When he turned around he came face to face with Isabel, who stood in her hastily put on robe and a messy braid hanging from her shoulder.

"I...'' he trailed off with no idea what to say, his mind felt as if it had a permanent blur to it.

''Why don’t you do her a favor and go away?'' She said scathingly and Richard grew irritated at her impertinence, but he calmed down as well as he tried his best to dismiss his disappointment at Anne's rejection. He walked away from the spot but stopped for a moment when he heard Isabel’ voice again.

''Give her time Richard.''

Richard stared back at her uncertainly while she did the same with her arms crossed, until he nodded and left the spot with hunched shoulders and going to God knows where. It appeared that Francis was wrong, Anne did not want anything to do with him and there was nothing he could do but accept it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I added a date at beginning of chapter one and chapter four because by chapter four the story already jumps through time and I forgot to indicate that, if I wrote about every single year of Richard in Middleham this would end being like 50 chapters long and I don't want that to happen , there's probably 10 chapters left.


	11. Memorial

Francis’s arrow flew directly onto the painted surface of the target, its deep impact leaving the rear of the arrow shaking from side to side like the tail of a giddy dog. Robert was sitting on the steps of the stairs, watching the scene intently, with the little face of a squirrel peeking out the untied laces of his shirt. He had found the furry creature in the bushes by the pond of ducks,and Francis could not stop him from snatching the animal away.

''So?'' Francis asked expectantly to Robert.

''I think fan clubs will start rising all over England.'' Robert replied with his broad arms crossed over his chest, his jealousy for Francis’s talent in archery was no secret since his hands were way too broad to even hold a bow right .

Richard sat quietly beside Robert, his face looking awfully tired. Even if his friends had accepted him back he thinks that they might as well be back to their previous distance for he hardly ever spoke or took part in their activities. He thought that his current state of misery might make competition to the one he had felt when his father died, perhaps it was worse because this loss was _his_ fault.

_If only she wasn’t so stubborn_

In another time he might have laughed at her obstinacy, and she would eventually come back to him as she always did when they had a dispute over things of little importance. He did not know what to make of the present to be true.

_Just treat her as she deserves all right?_

His mother had once told him that and he ignored her statement thinking that she was being absurd for thinking that he would ever treat Anne badly. But now that he thinks about it he cannot help but feel even more terrible at his idiocy. He may have valued her friendship before but not enough, he may have sought her out when he had the chance but he had only labeled her as unpredictable and childish.

_Idiot, she’s so much more than that_

''Dickon, are you all right?'' Francis interrupted his thoughts, noticing that while he was exchanging remarks with Robert a pained expression had crossed Richard’s face making him lean his head forward and clutch it between his hands. Richard raised his face and blinked his eyes repeatedly not sure how to play his emotions out, at the end he settled for a glare (which was typical).

''I’m fine.'' He said annoyed, making Robert scoff from his place beside him.

''Oh I knew you’d be completely honest with us as always.''

''I’m just tired that’s all.''

''Richard, did she really not tell you anything?'' Francis asked.

''I told you already! She does not want to talk to me, she hates me.'' Richard snapped as he laid back on the stairs, making the rodent inside Robert’s shirt hide beneath the white clothing.

''She will not hold grudges for long Richard, not when you have apologized.'' Francis said, trying to assure him. The night of the banquet Francis had noticed how upset Anne looked and he could not help but think that something else had happened to her. But whenever he asked she dismissed his questions by shaking her head with a forced smile and pulling him into the dance floor. He hoped she would go back to being the happy little lady that he knew, for he cared for her very much .

''Whatever you say…'' Richard muttered, staring at the arch above him.

  For Richard the rest of the morning was spent watching Francis and Robert shoot arrows in the yard while he remained in the stairs taking care of Robert’s stupid squirrel. By the time they were gone Richard wandered around the east side of the castle and came to a stop near the kitchens, suddenly becoming aware of how hungry he was. He stood by the entrance of the kitchen, his mind quickly at ease when he noticed that there was nobody in the room. He entered the kitchen quietly with the smell of crap and raw fish invading his senses. The kitchens were open spaces situated close to the stables and stray dogs didn’t waste time to relieve themselves inside the room. The disgusting smells made him raise his scarf and cover his nose with it. He quietly made his way to the left corner of the kitchen where the cooks kept groups of baskets filled with different types of ingredients and beverages. Richard came across a basket filled with the severed heads of fish, another filled with onions and then quickly spotted the basket filled with green apples and snatched two of them. As soon as Richard took them he turned around preparing to run out of the room but then he slammed into something, or rather someone, and he dropped the apples into the ground.

''Ye don’t learn do ya boy?''

Richard stared up at the wrinkled face of scary Harry, trembling slightly. The old man glared at him, his yellow teeth visible through the snarl in his face.

''What are ye doing here?''

'' I-I just… '' Richard stammered. He hated stammering.

''Get on with it boy!'' 

''I was hungry.'' Richard rapidly admitted.

''Ye’ll have to wait fer lunchtime laddie,'' Harry said in a hoarse voice and Richard slumped his shoulders in disappointment and bent down to pick the green apples and attempted to go back to the baskets but Harry stopped him by a wave of his bony hand.

 "Keep 'em." Harry said and Richard grinned slightly and put both apples in the pocket sown onto his cloak.

''Thank you sir.'' 

''Is the birdie alright?'' Harry asked after a brief pause.

''I don’t know.'' Richard said giving Harry a strange look, ''We haven’t talked in a while,''

Harry searched for something in his pocket until a tinkling sound was heard and Harry retracted his hand from his pocket, with a pair of two silver bells hanging from it ''Could ye give her these?''

''What in the world…''

''I thought she would want these back,'' Harry said and Richard was even more confused. Those pair of bells belonged to Lazarus. Anne had always tied them onto his reins when they would go for a ride outside in the moors.

''Where did you get that from?''

''I managed to snatch the bells before they buried 'im, he still had 'em on.'' Harry replied. At hearing this Richard grew so pale that Harry thought he could have blended easily into the snow outside.

''Christ boy, don’t tell me ye didn’t know?'' Harry was incredulous.

''What happened?'' Richard asked in a mere whisper.

'' I thought she must have told ya , her horse died weeks ago laddie.'' Harry explained.

''What?''

''The animal died of sum sickness and her father gave consent to bury 'im and bought a new one," Harry said shaking his head, ''The thing is she didn’t even know until she came ‘ere one day and that fucker who runs the stables told her that he died.'' Harry spat, not caring at all that he was talking obscenely in front of the boy.

''Oh no…''

''I never got the chance to give her this,'' He said extending the bells towards Richard ''Take 'em lad.'' He said and Richard took the bells carefully ''Now get out of ‘ere , I have work to do.'' Richard paused and stared at the older man muttering a thank you and walked out of the kitchen .He paused outside, with his eyes drifting across the lawn that separated the kitchen from the stables and he felt a pang of pain when he saw Lazarus’s empty cage.

_Anne…_

Richard’s mind drifted towards Anne and how brokenhearted she must be. This explained her behavior the day he tried to to talk to her. How could her father be that cruel and not tell her? He probably thought that she was just young and silly and that she would get over it soon. It was this thought that filled him with determination to find her, all he knew was that he wanted to see her.

He did not find her in her rooms nor in the library or their meeting place by the gardens. Richard grew frustrated as he wandered around the hallways with only one place left in his mind. He had been so lost in his thoughts and desperation to find her that he did not notice that the Countess was walking in the same hallway as he.

''Your grace.'' The Countess said coming to a stop in front of him.

''Countess.'' Richard nodded curtly.

''Are you searching for something?''

''Someone actually, do you happen to know where Lady Anne is?''

''Ah her, I recall that I saw her last in the main music room, seems that she is still mourning over that ugly creature.'' She said in a tone that Richard did not like one bit. Anne always avoided talking about the Countess when they were together.

''Are you all right? you seem…''

''I’m fine thank you!'' He interrupted her abruptly and ran to the west wing of the castle, his previous polite demeanor forgotten like a mere daydream. As he climbed the spiral stairs of the western tower he started hearing the melodies of a clavichord. When he stopped by the door of the music room he paused trying to catch his breath. As soon he regained his energy he opened the door slowly and entered, his eyes taking in the unmistakable shape of Anne who sat quietly in a bench with her back to him, her legs dangling from the seat and her fingers dancing across the old wooden clavichord, creating a pleasant and repetitive melody that he had heard before.

 _What if she doesn’t want me here?_ He asked himself, he had not thought about what her reaction towards him would be like but he came to the conclusion that he had to try and face whatever consequence may come. Richard stood still for a good while behind her, listening carefully to the tune until he decided to take a step forward, then another and another until he was standing beside her. He maneuvered his way to sit in the bench which he suddenly noticed that was not large enough to keep his distance, meaning that his knee and thigh were pressed to hers. His cheeks flushed but she did not seem to care as her eyes were focused on the keys in that same look that her face always displayed when she was concentrated. But this time she also looked terribly sad and Richard wanted to wipe away that grief and make her smile again, to make her know that he was here for her. It was this desire that made him raise his hands and when he found the correct moment he pressed the keys of the clavichord, playing one half of the melody. She stopped playing for a moment, her green eyes narrowing slightly until she continued playing, accompanied faintly by Richard.

They kept playing the keys yellowed by time, creating an improvised crescendo until they came to the last part of the lively tune. When the song was finished a heavy silence fell over them and Anne stared into the floor for a long while, until she slowly leaned her head to rest it on Richard’s shoulder. The little hairs from her scalp tickled his nose and he sighed in relief at knowing that she wanted him there. He responded by laying his raven head on top of hers .

''They did not even tell me where he was buried,'' She said quietly after a moment and Richard furrowed his brow.

''Perhaps we should make our own memorial then,'' He replied and Anne frowned in confusion, raising her head to stare at him, her wide green eyes bringing him a sense of tenderness that he had only experimented with her on countless occasions.

''What do you mean?'' 

Richard reached into the pocket of his coat and pulled out the bells making Anne gasp in surprise.

''Where did you get this from? '' She asked , touching the surface of the bells.

''Scary Harry snatched them away for you.''

''That’s so kind of him.'' She was deeply touched and silence fell upon them once more before Richard spoke.

''Anne...do you forgive me?'' 

''I thought I made that clear when I didn’t slap you for interrupting my song. '' She replied and Richard laughed.

''Two is better than one.'' He said and Anne smiled for the first time.

''He was a good horse.'' 

''Yes he was.'' 

''Richard…you said something about ‘’Our own memorial’’? '' She asked pursing her lips and Richard smiled in reply.

* * *

 

   They planned it for the next morning, made simple arrangements to at least make it look worthy and pleasing, even for an animal. He had collected panels of wood, nails that he had stolen from the new building that was being constructed in the back of the castle and a hammer that he also decided to ‘borrow’. She on the other hand collected flowers . Richard was no mason but he had the basic idea of what they wanted to do, all he had to do was nail the pieces together. The thing looked like a strange little boat, it had a small and square wooden surface, small panels covered it and two pieces of wood with curved ends raised from the panels and came together at the top almost looking like a heart

Richard and Anne escaped from the castle unnoticed that morning, most of its inhabitants sleeping. He held the small structure carefully as they walked through the snow and she brought a basket filled with flowers, the cloths she embroidered, and the silver bells that tinkled with her every movement. They entered the pale forest with tree trunks caked in the white of the snow and after a good while they finally arrived by the river with wild currents that even the freezing wind was not able to stop.

  He nailed the cloth sown by her with patterns of green apples which had been Lazarus’s favorite treat, and the other one with the name ‘Lazarus’ sown in the middle to the two pieces of wood with the curved ends, one was nailed on the front and the other one on the back. She put the group of different flowers inside the structure until it was completely full and added a green apple in the center. The pair of bells were what was left, and they hanged them on the curve that rested on the top of the little boat. By the end Richard sank a cross he made by the shore of the cold river and buried two letters made by him and Anne on the earth below it. As he carved Lazarus name on the middle of the cross he noticed that Anne was crying silently by the shore but he let her grieve, for she needed it.

"Ready?" He asked her once everything is set and she nodded, with a slight push of both of their hands the boat was carried away by the currents. She was suddenly very sad that she let the bells go, the only part of him left, but she also believed that wherever the boat went the bells would perhaps keep tinkling with their melody, carrying the memory of her loyal horse. The pieces of cloth served as sails that caught the wind and directed the boat forward while it moved from side to side in a dance that made the bells hanging on the top tinkle. They stood by the brim until the boat disappeared from view, Anne lowered her head and Richard got an idea as his eyes strayed from Anne to the hill by the forest .

''Anne come on.'' He said tugging on her fur cloak and runs to the slope by the river.

"Richard?" She asked confused and he turned around.

"Come on we can see it from the hill." He said and she ran to follow him. The small shapes of both children skipped through the trees, brushed past plants and jumped over cracks of old traps set up for hunting until they finally arrive at the very top of the hill, where you can see the complete body of dark blue water that is the river. Their eyes search frantically for the boat until they both see it flowing close to the shore, the occasional brushes of the currents swaying it from one side to the other.

''Do you think animals go to heaven?'' Anne broke the silence and Richard thought for a moment.

''I don’t know,'' Richard said, ''but they probably do.''

''I hope they do.''

They both stayed silent for a long while.

''It was a good memorial.'' Anne blurted out suddenly, turning towards Richard. Richard stared at her face which was reddened by the freezing wind and he put his arm around her to hold her close.

''Yes it was.'' Richard agreed as they heard the bells tinkling faintly from the flowing river.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologize for grammar mistakes, writing in English is not as easy as I thought, feedback is welcome and next chapters might be up soon as I'm kind of in a hurry to finish this even though I am dreading the ending that I'm planning.


	12. The fall

   Richard held onto the reins of his horse as they strolled along the edge of the slope leading to the forest where he and his friends so often humored themselves in hunting. He was very pleased with the new liberty that his masters had allowed him. The wind blew his hair in different directions , making it hard for him to control his horse since he was always letting go of the reins to try and fix it behind his ears. His surroundings looked so remarkably different by the passing seasons; Richard could not decide which of the four seasons suited Middleham better. Was it better with the warm summer sunlight stretching over the moors? Or was it more beautiful with trees embellished in white snow? By not too afar he can visualize the ruins of the old cottage that he and his adoring cousin Anne had ran by many times during their escapes from the castle. They didn’t do such thing anymore for the buoyance of childhood that they once so thoroughly indulged themselves into was slowly fading away. He was very relieved that Anne forgave him after the distance that emerged between them. Their recent strife was probably the worst one they had ever had in the three years of his stay at Middleham, which had been occasionally interrupted by fleeting visits to his brother Edward.

   He smiled to himself as he made memory of the way Anne would try to conceal her unhappiness whenever he had to leave Middleham by forcing blank expressions that were futile due to her teary eyes, and a pursed mouth that was given away by a pout that appeared to have stayed on her lower lip forever, for Anne was a lass who sulked very often in spite of her merry and energetic bearing. Richard was not sure when he started reading Anne so well but he was aware of how he could see beyond anything she put into display; and he knew that underneath all that happiness she was sad. He still found himself frustrated when he thought about the way her father and mother had so casually discarded her feelings at Lazarus’s death. At remembering this Richard gripped and pulled at the reins tightly, making the horse release a loud neigh that echoed on the precipice below. By witnessing Anne’s pain he had been determined to be there for her at any moment, but it bothered him that Anne would appear so surprised whenever he sought her out. It appeared that his previous behavior had left a mark and she was always regarding him with questioning looks, as if she thought that she was bothering him. He was very disappointed that he gave her that impression.

     The sight of the edge of the cliff by which his horse was currently galloping alongside to sent a flash of anxiety through him, his earlier excitement mingling with fear at the thought of falling into the rocks that greeted him down below the slope. He turned his eyes away from the rocks and pulled carefully at the reins trying to make the horse turn around. The gales of wind were blowing more fiercely by the second and Richard was regretting coming here alone. The horse finally managed to obey his demanding rider and turned around, but then he broke into a gallop when Richard did not do anything to command him so.

''Argh! Stop, stop!'' Richard shouted and pulled at the reins forcefully making the creature stop his unexpected frenzy .

 _I have to go back to the castle_ Richard thought worriedly making a pause, the sight of tall trees fluttering at the touches of the wind, and lonesome white fields letting him know that he was completely alone in here.

   The young duke maneuvered his way around the horse’s stubborn attitudes to go back to the castle. They struggled against the wild gales that sent Richard’s black hair in all directions, made his horse release annoyed neighs and raised dead plants from the ground as if they were alive. They finally reached the arched gateway into the fortress, where there were several soldiers and humble folks from the castle doing all kinds of work. The sight of the soldiers sharpening their weaponry and ironing their sturdy stallions made him suspect that Edward will spend this Christmas dealing with lancastrian rebellions instead of spending it in celebration. Richard wished for nothing more than to be able to stand by his brother’s side but he would have to wait longer, it secretly disappointed him and made him wonder about the day when he would finally be able to properly serve Edward .

   There were groups of small red faced men pulling with ropes at the branches from trees that stood near the area- they were probably carpenters working on the new building by the back of the castle. Richard thought that they looked amusing with their bean hats, small frames and red cheeks that peeked out of their white and grayish beards. The nervous horse trotted forward and he could visualize the archway that led into the bridge of the castle, where a small channel ran steadily below the wooden structure. Richard decided to stop his horse but an unannounced cracking noise followed by a loud plop sent Richard’s horse into a furious flash of panic making him jerk his legs, shake his body harshly and whine loudly- it was a branch that had fallen off at the pressure of the group of small men. Richard tried to control the horse but the reins fell loose from his hands due to the shaky movement of the horse. In a fit of desperation Richard moved to try and jump off the horse but then the creature gave such a violent jerk that he was flung off the saddle and then landed on the ground with a hard thud.

Several cries were heard and the people near rushed hastily to Richard’s body lying on the ground, forming a vast circle around him. To their dismay the duke was not moving and a purplish mark with a round red blotch on the middle was growing slowly on the side of his head like a grotesque flower.

''Let me though! Let me through!'' A voice was heard shouting from the back of the crowd and the people clear a path for none other than Richard’s brother, who skipped through the path brusquely shoving people away. When he arrived at the center he knelt by Richard’s side, noticing to his horror that his little brother was not moving, but he found a small gust of relief when he saw that Richard’s chest was at least moving. He started patting Richard’s cheek slightly and shaking his shoulders carefully, but Richard just lay still with his arms stretched out as if expecting an embrace and his unconscious face getting stained with the blood oozing from the ugly scar on his head. George paused, breathing deeply, then he turned to the individuals who were staring stupidly at the body as if he was some strange ornament being exhibited at a village fair, and he was suddenly very angry at the people for their impudence.

_These peasants don’t even attempt to help me_

Deciding to ignore them and his own unreasonable anger he gently stretched his arms underneath Richard’s unmoving body and after a moment he lifted him up, his little brother feeling almost weightless in his arms. George turned around shooting hateful glares at the people from the crowd and then swiftly walked out of the place leaving an air of uncertainty among the people who watched the young duke of Clarence’s retreating figure carrying his younger brother’s inanimate form.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This idea came to me from the show when Isabel mentioned at Elizabeth's coronation dinner that Richard had once fallen from his horse , to be honest I have no idea how PG portrayed Anne and Richard's childhood in TKD and I won't really bother to read it cause I have just received The Sunne, that will be my first read about the Wars of The Roses and I'm very excited to finally read it. The more these two younglings grow the more tough it is to write them.:(


	13. Yule

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shameless fluff ahead.

The bandages wrapped around Richard’s head were smeared with a slimy substance that made him pointlessly try to scratch his head from time to time. His fall had given way into a fracture on his left arm that emitted an insistent ache that kept Richard’s eyes open throughout the whole night.

Nobody had visited him yet, all except his brother, who had been allowed to visit him for a small measured time in the morning. Such time was spent in a silence interrupted by occasional curtly exchanges, but mostly silence. In spite of this Richard could not help but feel a small gust of peace at his brother’s display of worry for him, he could see it.

_He cares for me..._

The infirmary was dreadfully quiet and the only sounds he could hear were those of the logs in the fireplace cracking at the heat of the dancing flames. It would much easier if he had his books with him but he knew that was impossible as they were probably lying in a trash bin somewhere. He still berated himself internally for being so foolish as to throw away things as valuable as books, his constant companions… a grand piece of his childhood forgotten, for now he would have to take the consequences. He wanted to be in the comfort of his room. A while ago he had been lending his ears to the continuous toll of the bells in the chapel announcing the consecration of the body of Christ, an event that always brought him delight, especially on Yuletide. As accustomed, after mass there would be a play featuring virtue winning over sin-which was usually performed by the servants from the castle- and afterwards the people would move on to the great hall and have a feast.

As he reflected over the events that would take place he created a mental image of what would be going on in the great hall at the present time. In spite of his gloomy bearing he found some distraction as his mind wandered through images of crimson tapestries hanging from alabaster walls, merry tunes being played and people dancing in joined circles while the Kingmaker looked on from the dining table, with his face displaying a secret look of pride as he watches his daughters spinning happily amidst the crowd with flower coronets on their heads. The thought brought him peace but then it made him brood even more when he remembered that he would spend Christmas alone in this quiet place.

Through the blurry glass window in front of the bed he could see the building that held the great hall inside, a simple yet graceful structure with a triangular roof that pointed skywards. Soon, he started hearing faint chatter from the yards below and he knew that the play had ended and the people were making their way to the hall to celebrate. The chatter was joined by distant music that flowed out of the open hall doors while people scurried in and out of the building in a rush of laughter and shouted orders. 

For a moment he pretended to focus on the starry sky stretching over the pointed rooftops of the castle and tried to connect the gleaming dots and imagine what they would look like if given an earthly shape. He had learned that if he found himself in a resting state then any kind of distraction could help him fall asleep faster. However as his eyes focused on the sky a singing voice made them stray from it. The voice was distant but he recognized it instantly, it was the girlish voice he had heard often every Wednesday morning by the west wing of the castle. The distant voice was currently singing a very fast paced song accompanied by what he could recognize as fiddles and drums. Richard did not doubt that the great hall must have been finding itself in a sea of dancing people. 

He raised himself slightly from the bed by supporting himself on the elbow of his wounded arm without noticing, which of course only resulted in pain and he laid back down with a groan. He could not wait to get out of this place, the solitude was already taking its toll on him and he could not bear it. 

Time passed and the moon had already moved from one corner to the other, and Richard still hadn’t fallen asleep. The young voice had sang at least three songs until other minstrels took over. By now he could hear an old man’s distant voice singing a slow foreign tune while more talking was being heard from the yard. Richard guessed that probably half of those voices were intoxicated by far too much wine as the chatter sounded like incoherent brawls punctuated by loud and infectious laughter. He closed his eyes trying to ignore the sounds and finally fall into slumber until a slight squeaking sound made his eyes shoot open and turn towards the now opened door of the infirmary, where he could make out the shape of a small person hovering in the doorway. He felt intimidated for only a heartbeat of a second before he perceived the light from the fireplace bouncing of the person’s head, revealing spots of crimson hair.

''Annie!''

His cousin smiled and skipped forward.

''What a shame, I was planning to scare you.'' She joked as she came close to Richard’s bed and Richard threw back his blankets and sat crossed legged on the surface.

''How did you get in?'' Richard asked with wide eyes, there had been guards at the door, specifically assigned to not let anyone bother the duke of Gloucester.

''I told the guards they were needed at the courtyard.''

''For what?'' 

''For nothing actually, they’ll just get swarmed by a bunch of stinky drunk men.''

''Poor them.'' 

''They would not let me in by the morning, I had to do something about it, even if it meant missing half of the dance.'' She said as she sat carefully on the border of the bed

''Won’t your father notice?''

''Perhaps but it’s nothing to worry about.'' She said smiling and Richard noticed that she was sitting on the border of the bed in a way that seemed as if she was sitting on nothing at all. 

''You can move further up the bed, I mean if you want to of course.'' He suggested and she raised her eyebrows for a moment until she finally moved and ended up sitting crossed legged in front of him. It was then that she noticed the bandages covering half of his head.

''Does it hurt?'' She asked while staring at the bandages and Richard instantly moved his head in a pointless attempt to hide it. The bandages were tainted by a weak red color and he was very embarrassed as the physicians said that the wound would leave a permanent scar; still, that embarrassment did not overshadow the one he felt for the monstrous curve on his back. He did not want anyone to see it, especially Anne for some reason, he was very sure that she would be disgusted by it.

''Yes.'' He replied in a small voice, followed by a long pause that she interrupted by reaching out her hand and laying it on top of his wounded one.

''I’m glad you are well.'' She said making Richard lower his head until he narrowed his lips after a moment and laid his free hand on top of hers.

''Me too.'' He said quietly, finally looking up to her. He took in the way that the light from the hearth gave her hair an ablaze appearance. He was never the one to give way into these type of things, staring and letting someone else stare back at him for such an extended time. In other occasions he might have turned his head away as he did just a while ago and then say something stupid to break the silence; but as he looked at her he found a familiar sense of tenderness.

It was that strange warm feeling in his chest that always appeared unannounced when she was near. As if on impulse he extended his hand and took a loose crimson strand from her hair and tucked it behind her ear, an action that he repeated with her especially when they used to race each other near the forest, where the wind would set her crimson hair free of its bondage to satin ribbons, giving it the appearance of a wild flame breaking out of thin air. Anne boldly kept staring back at him until she snapped out of her trance.

''I almost forgot…'' She whispered with wide eyes and then she quickly reached into her brown cloak, which Richard noticed that it looked as if it was hiding something underneath. Her small hands pulled out the cloaked object, and Richard’s mouth narrowed into an O of surprise as he realized what was it.

''It’s not much of a gift but I thought you would want it back ….erm… merry Christmas Dickon.'' She said nervously trying to judge by his appearance if he liked it or not. The freshly painted letters in gold that spelled the words ‘Sir Gawain and the Green Knight’ met Richard’s astonished gaze. This was one of the books he had thrown out in a fit of stupid anger. 

''How did you get this?'' He asked bewildered while carefully taking the book from her hands. He could tell that Anne had cleaned the book and had also re-painted the words on the cover as the book smelled of perfume and the original letters on the cover had been already fading away only to now bear fresh paint that spelled the title in elegant curves.

''I found it near the trash close to the stables, Isabel and I had a fight and…and she threw ‘Bella’ into the trash behind my back.'' She said with her eyes blinking away sudden and unwelcome tears, ''So I started to look for it and then I found this book, and I remembered that it was yours because you used to read it to me,'' She finished explaining noticing that Richard’s expression had taken a somber look and she bit her lip . ‘Bella’ was Anne’s beloved doll. 

''She threw your doll away,'' 

''We were just being silly and she already apologized, she cried so much as she begged me to forgive her that I no longer care.'' She said trying to sound convincing but Richard knew that Anne was still sad as any child could be when a toy whose importance only they can fully understand disappeared in such a dreadful fashion. 

''We’ll find it together.'' He assured her and she smiled softly.

''Do you like it?'' She asked gesturing towards the book

''Of course I do, I.. I cannot thank you enough.'' 

''It’s nothing, that’s what friends are for.'' She said and he smiled at her until both of them became aware of the new song that was playing in the great hall. 

''My God, would you hear that?'' He asked while holding the book and she hummed in reply, also entranced by the lively song. They were playing La rotta, a popular song at court. 

''We should get better a clearer hearing of it.'' She said smiling broadly and Richard quirked his eyebrows, the gesture making her laugh as it always did. 

''But people could see us.'' He said worriedly, although he really wanted to get closer.

''Not if we are careful enough, come on!'' She said jumping off the bed and turning around to face him. 

''All right…'' He said getting off the bed slowly until he paused for a moment and then grinned, "Yes, let’s go!"

He threw on a grey coat and followed Anne who held his hand as she led the way through the bridge that connected the infirmary to the building that held the great hall. Richard’s excitement increased as the melodies became louder and clearer until they stood in an empty unused room where a faded glass structure raised in the center as a strange type of window that gave sight into the gleaming dance floors of the great hall. 

Richard and Anne came close to the glass structure and bent their heads to get a look at the scene playing below. Through the blurry glass dozens of dancing and colorful dots moved continuously across the dance floor in joined circles, spinning and uniting with other dots to repeat the same movements, all perfectly in sync with the lively music. Richard looked at Anne who was currently smiling and her eyes were sparkling with such an innocent delight that he got an idea as his eyes stray from the scene below ; he grabbed her hand leading her out of the place near the glass. She frowned as he separated himself from her with his back to her.

It was a moment later that he turned around to face his cousin standing inches apart from her and even with his arm in a black sling he bowed smoothly before her, tilting his face up to see her response. She widened her eyes in realization with a small smile immediately following. Her hands took hold of her skirts, approaching at a curtsey with equal grace. He approached her, taking a hold of her hand with his free one; for a moment he grew insecure as he never danced this way before but Anne seemed to be growing accustomed to dancing with the disposition of just one hand from her partner. The dance was familiar to both of them, almost an imitation of a basse but at a livelier pace involving spinning and a few jumps. Drums, fiddles, flutes and bagpipes blended together and the walls of the room almost felt as if they had a heartbeat due to the blaring music.

This dance was originally performed with at least three couples more but in the arrival of the moment when Richard and Anne were supposed to hold hands in the air in order to allow the other dancers to pass below they pretended to imagine real people passing below the bridge of their joined arms, bringing rounds of laughter as they both made funny remarks upon the people they imagined passing through. Their movements soon matched perfectly the ones of the dancing people below as they both swirled around the room, inspiring a growing confidence in both of them as they made their own twists around the dance, one of them involving Anne spinning Richard around instead of him spinning her causing them to laugh uncontrollably. They kept dancing into the night, with their small shadows mirroring their movements along the pulsating walls of the room, the colorful dots dancing in continuance and overly drunk men in the courtyard singing loud carols, recently joined by two equally intoxicated soldiers when both men should have been guarding a young duke.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the awful English!  
> La rotta is an actual song, if I keep making fics you'll probably see a lot of musical references, especially those linked to medieval times.  
> Coming soon: Elizabeth Woodville


	14. Announcement

_May, 1464_.

Richard tightened the black cloak around his quivering body. The air felt colder as he skipped along the hallways that overlooked the lawns splayed on the corners of the castle. He welcomed the feeling despite the complaints from his shivering body, as in a way it confirmed that he was officially discharged from the infirmary, that he could now feel the air from the wintry environs around the castle. 

There were constant movements and shifts around the lawns, both accompanied by sounds of steel clashing as the wards were back in training. Richard leaned on a pillar and watched the distant scene whilst securing something beneath his cloak. He was disappointed that he could not take part in training yet due to his arm, which was free from the sling and now carried white bandages. However, he was pleased that they at least let him take his morning lessons of Greek and Arithmetics. 

On another corner of the fields a group of girls danced before the sharp gaze of Lady Marguerite, who stood holding her cane in one hand like a chief and two pairs of small cymbals in the other. Lady Marguerite had the custom of leading the older girls outside to practice their dancing, since the younger ones were prone to absorb the health misfortunes brought by the elements of the weather. 

As usual, they were being led by the eldest Neville girl, who stood at the front of the group moving and swirling with a sort of special incorporation of grace and authority. Richard was amused, not necessarily by the dancing although he thought it was quite good, but by the glances of a very tired George, who was lying on the ground near the training area with his gaze shifting continuously between the duels and Isabel.

The master called to a halt in the distance and then started talking to the now huddled group of wards. Richard couldn't hear what the master was saying but he did make out the shapes of Francis and Robert who stood listening at the master until Robert’s eyes wandered and caught sight of Richard leaning against the pillar. He tugged at Francis shirt who also saw Richard and they both waved at their friend. As soon as the group started dispersing Richard made his way to them, coming across George who was walking away from the area with some other teenage wards and stopped when he saw Richard walking across the lawn.

''It’s good to see you out of that cage, such a shame you can’t train with us Dickins.'' George says emphasizing on the last sentence 

''It’s just a matter of time before I can come back.'' He reminded George as he skipped past him.

''Oh I’d pay attention if I were you, our sessions will be arduous this year and since you’ve proven that you can’t manage a horse God knows what else you can’t manage.'' George said. 

''I think you should be the one to worry, if you keep shifting your eyes between Isabel and what you’re supposed to be learning you will become delirious brother!'' Richard replied, unaware of the furious blush that had overtaken George’s face, who didn’t reply back and stomped away with his snickering friends following. Richard reached Francis who was dusting himself off several coats of snow and dirt.

''Did you have a fight with the ground?''

''Not exactly, your brother put his foot in the way while I was retrieving my sword earlier.'' Francis replies as he shows Richard a rip in his pants that gave sight into a bloody scratch on his knee. Richard frowns.

''I’m sorry Fran-''

''No it’s alright, it’s not your fault.'' 

''Just wait until they put me on a duel with him.'' Robert said coming close and Richard arched his eyebrow. George and Robert were never put together on duels and Richard knew that the wards had been silently hoping for one soon. 

''How is your arm?'' Francis asked, changing the subject while taking off his shoulder pad.

''It is healing very fast, soon enough I’ll be able to join training and beat you at archery.''

''In your dreams my lord.'' Francis replied making Richard smirk until his eyes strayed and noticed once again the dancing group of girls on the other corner of the lawn.

''I wonder how they can dance with this weather.'' Richard wondered while looking at the scene, thinking that what the girls were performing wasn’t much different from his sessions of combat, where his movements had to be synchronized, precise and careful; just like dancing but with a different and much more drastic purpose.

''Just as they are probably wondering how we can fight with this weather.'' Francis said dropping the pad into the ground and moving his shoulder trying to soothe the discomfort put on by the steel. 

''They are being led by lady Isabel.'' Robert observed.

''As usual, she even opened the dances in the Yuletide feast.'' 

It was a known fact that Isabel held many talents, all of those overshadowing her little sister, who could play the rebec and clavichord rather well and could speak a little French while her older sister could play around four different instruments, was the best dancing student in the household, could speak French and Latin perfectly and on top of everything she held a radiant beauty that could rival that of her own mother.

''Well Anne did sing at the banquet too.'' Robert muttered and Richard turned his head abruptly towards Robert.

''What did you say?'' He asked and Robert raised his eyebrow at Richard.

''That Anne sang at the banquet, with that voice I would say she just buried her sister ten feet below the ground.'' Robert said and Francis nodded in agreement while Richard stays quiet. 

''I miss her you know, she used to bring us food and now she just stopped.'' Robert added thoughtfully and Richard lowered his head in guilt, his previous surprise forgotten as he remembered that now that he was discharged he and Anne had gone back to their measured distance. A distance caused by him and then put to action by her when she began to avoid him whenever she saw him in the company of the other boys from the household. He wished it could be different but he was not a little boy and he had to take his duties more seriously, meaning no more games and escapades. He was relieved that she understood that but worried about what would become of their friendship.

''Have you seen her?'' Richard asked quietly and Francis turned to him.

''I ran into her before training, she was wandering around the back of the castle, and I think she was looking for a doll?'' Francis replied with his brow furrowed and Richard narrowed his eyes, staying quiet and tightening his cloak.

They stayed talking for a while more until Robert and Francis excused themselves to go to lunch inviting Richard to join them, but he declined as he had something else on his mind. He skipped along the interiors castle until he arrived at the very back of the building. A large stone wall surrounded and protected the castle with each corner holding guards, but the north wall was always left deserted of any protection since it faced nothing but an old barn and a hill that raised slightly from the ground and then led down into a large field. 

Richard thought that it was very reckless and unsafe, even with the little chance of anyone coming to attack by the lumpy roads in the back of the castle. He believed that in any risky situation one must always take every possible precaution to keep himself safe and consider whatever reckless solution left to come out alive. 

As he passed by the barn he stopped for a moment when he heard movements inside the small worn structure, noticing that there were some men outside holding up banners of the bear and the ragged staff. He frowned, this barn was rarely used for anything although he knew it was being reconstructed. He walked past them and made his way up the slope, occasionally throwing troubled glances at the barn from his shoulder, where it appeared as if they were setting up something. 

He strode into the field and stopped in his tracks, greeted by the sight of Anne who sits below a tree with her head bent at a reading angle and her hands moving her auburn strands out her eyes while trying to read the book in her lap, just as he expected to find her. But as he regarded her his affection deflated into sadness at seeing her so alone. 

Before he fell from his horse there was one time when he saw her in one of the alcoves of the castle, she was sitting on a bench playing with two small wooden dolls. Richard had laughed internally as he hid behind a wall and watched Anne talking for the dolls, with her face making overly dramatic expressions as she played, yet what had started as an amusing scene for him only made his heart ache later as he became aware that nobody wanted to play with her. He goes over to her spot without Anne noticing due to her attention to the book.

''Annie,'' He said and Anne jerked her head up like a fawn caught at the head of an arrow.

''Dickon? What are you doing here?'' She asked surprised.

''I’m discharged.'' He replied awkwardly finding nothing else to say, with only a slight hint of irritation in his tone at her shock.

_Does she really think our friendship is over? and why did I say that?, she already knows I'm discharged!_

''Oh…that’s very good.'' 

''Now, what are you doing here?'' He asked while coming near her place and sitting in front of her. Anne only shakes her head before turning her eyes towards the fields.

''Do you remember when we used to play in here Dickon?'' She asked while looking at the fields.

''Yes I do.'' He replied, also looking at the fields deserted of any flowers.

''It seems so long since I’ve been here when it’s not, I wanted to see it again and just… remember.'' She said turning to smile at Richard and he stared at the ground feeling bad again.

''Don’t do that.'' She directed at him sharply and Richard turned up his head startled. Her pale green eyes were glinting with an unusual authority for such a small girl. It was a common trait in the Nevilles, he thought.

He wanted to ask her what did she mean but then she realized what she was talking about, and he came to the realization that she could read him as well as he had learned to read her. She did not want him to feel bad because they were no longer spending time together.

''I understand.'' She said more softly, beaming at him in understanding while laying back against the tree trunk. 

''At least we’re together now aren’t we?'' He countered and she reached his hand and squeezed it in response. 

''Yes we are.'' 

''What is that?'' He asked her giving his head a tilt towards the book on her lap.

''It’s just a book of astronomy, I’m not supposed to read it but…'' She trailed off and Richard narrowed his eyes in understanding. 

Girls did not take astronomy, their lessons only taught them matters that showed them the ways of being a lady, requiring specialties like etiquette, elocution and diverse languages which were mostly taught to girls in case they married a foreigner. 

Music was the only thing that Anne truly enjoyed but she also wanted to learn about philosophers and historians like Richard did, she wanted to solve complicated math problems and indulge herself in reading about the stars and constellations that hovered above her at night.

''You stole it.'' Richard said simply, it was not the first time she did it. 

'' I _borrowed_ it.'' She said pointedly and Richard smirked at her typical frustrated response, muttering an _’Of course you did’_ in reply. Despite her clear enthusiasm for the basic things he had talked to her about she held a special interest in astronomy.. 

''Why do you like that so much? I hate it.'' Richard said, ''They should probably switch us since you’re so passionate about it.'' he said and Anne pursed her lips.

''You wouldn’t want that, I would be the only girl taking astronomy and you would be the only boy learning how to walk in heels.'' She replies flatly before they fully realize what Anne has said, making them stop and burst into a fit of laughter. The image of Richard walking in slippers was too funny.

''Well don’t underestimate me, I’d look fantastic! '' He says mockingly offended and Anne laughs harder. At the sound of her laughs he feels like a fool for not realizing that she was the girl who sang from the music rooms on those mornings, the similarities were glaring. He thought of speaking to her about it but he decides to keep it to himself for the time. Perhaps someday she would sing something for him.

''You’d fall on your butt!'' She laughed.

''Oh please, I can wield a sword perfectly and shoot a boar from miles away, you think a pair of slippers would truly bother me?'' He asked teasingly as their laughs died down. 

'' Yes, because you’d look as a newborn fawn trying to stand up. '' She chuckled.

''Well my brother George would certainly enjoy it.'' He answered and she beamed at him until she bit her lip as if she was about to say something but didn’t dare.

''What’s wrong?''

'' Have you heard anything from your brother, Richard? Your brother the king?'' She asked turning her eyes towards his. Richard’s use of the word brother made her remember something important. 

''Edward? Well no, although he did send me a letter.'' Richard recalled, remembering inky scribes on a parchment asking about the progress in his lessons along with expressions of regret at not being able to spend Christmas with him. The most notable thing however were the pair of daggers that came along with the letter, both emblazoned with a white boar on their silver handles. At the end of the letter there was a note saying _‘’we’ll be able to use them together soon’’_

The boar meant something special to Richard, and he considered the possibility of making it his own icon in the future. His fondness originated during his first hunting spree ever at Ludlow, with a group full of men being led by his tall father and noisy older brothers while he and George stood at the back watching. 

His father had encouraged Richard to come out of his hiding place behind George’s winter cloak and gave him a bow, teaching him carefully how to hold the lethal instrument correctly and after a few tries the dark boy had shot a boar in the distance making everybody around him erupt into a frenzy of surprised gasps and murmurs. They took the dead creature back to the castle and made a feast that evening, as a celebration for Richard’s first hunt.

''Why do you ask? Is something wrong?'' He said to her and she looked away.

''It’s my father, he is acting so strange Dickon,'' she said and continued ''I hear him curse Edward over and over again and yet I don’t know what has happened.'' She finished looking at Richard expectantly.

''You know my brother and your father always disagree on many things, that’s nothing new.'' 

''No no Richard, this time is different, I know it is! God knows I’d probably get whipped for intruding in his matters but I love my father Richard and your brother too, I don’t like to see them fighting they’re supposed to love each other.'' 

Warwick and Edward were a strange pair that resembled the image of a tutor constantly disapproving over a disobedient student. The last thing he heard from his brother was that he had offered a pardon to the duke of Somerset for his rebellion without even taking into consideration that the man was one of the she-wolf’s closest companions. 

Richard did not know what Edward had in mind by doing that, perhaps it was a way of appealing to the people although Richard had hope that Somerset would actually mean his word of loyalty to his brother. He was not certain about Edward’s intentions but he suspected that his recent display of mercy was the thing that was causing the rift between Edward and Warwick. He was sure however that it would most likely pass so he did not worry much over the topic, right now he only wanted Anne to be at ease.

''They do love each other Anne, it’s just them being their usual stubborn selves as always.'' He reassured her, noticing a stray curl of her hair which he doesn't waste time to fix behind her ear. She widened her eyes as she felt an accidental brush of his finger against her cheek making her turn her gaze to him directly but then the echo of a distant trumpet makes them break apart.

''What was that?'' She asked while staring into the direction of the slope.

''I don’t know, but we should probably leave.'' He replied with a frown while helping Anne up into her feet and picking up her book. The day looked particularly gloomy with the sky tinted in its usual dull gray color and the grounds growing with nothing more than snow.

They walked carefully along the slippery road of the slope until they froze at the scene that greeted them below. The place that had been almost deserted a while ago was now crowded with people squeezed around each other like spectators at a theater play or beggars waiting for charitable share of food . 

Richard and Anne looked at each other in confusion before they made their way down the slope pausing at the scene. The people were talking incoherently in loud voices and Richard tried to come closer to see what was at the front. 

''What’s happening?!'' Anne asked over the cacophony of voices. She then thought that her father might make an announcement at this very moment.

''I don’t know!'' Richard shouted back with a hand covering his ear trying to get better hearing .

He stood up on his tiptoes trying to get a look at the front but all that his eyes saw were helmets catching the light from the sun and spears pointing skywards. More people swarmed over the area where he was standing and he turned his head to tell Anne that they should leave but he noticed to his dismay that he was talking to no one, she had gotten dragged into the crowd. He shouted her name but the voices only rose up muffling his shout as if on purpose and he felt panic rise within his core and spread a hideous warmth on his neck. 

_What if she gets trampled by this stupid crowd!_

He surged forward in desperation and bent down, using his slim body as an advantage and starting to crawl easily between the mass of bodies like a sly cat. He noticed that the doors of the barn were slightly opened revealing nothing but shadows while the same soldiers that he saw earlier stood still and emotionless like statues at either side of a small scaffold. His knees kept dragging against the cold ground until he caught the quivering figure of a small girl who was crouching into a ball on the ground, shaking in fear with her eyes closed tightly. 

''Annie!'' He crawled over to her holding her by the shoulders and she shot up her head with wide eyes. He helped her stand up and the sound of another trumpet silenced the crowd , with everybody turning their attention into the barn. 

Richard went nearer to the front and Anne clutched his hand firmly, despite her shaking. It was a moment later that they finally came out of the shadows. One by one, their only source of connection being the long rope that was tied across each one of their necks leading them forward like cattle. Richard suddenly felt his blood freeze in horror. 

_The barn, the scaffold, the trumpets, the men …this is an execution._

One of the prisoners was released from the rope and gets dragged carelessly into the stage by a soldier, where the only things that stood on the wooden surface was a heavy block made of oak and a hooded man sharpening a giant axe that was bigger than the man himself. The soldier punched the prisoner on the gut once they arrived at the stage, making him fall over the block raising in the middle of the structure. A scream threatened to escape Anne’s throat before Richard blocked the view.

''Anne I want you to look at me, look at my eyes and nothing else,'' Richard said repeatedly as he changed their positions so that he is the one facing the horrible scene while she stared back at him terrified. After finally switching them he clutched her tightly to his chest completely preventing her from watching but his eyes did not stray from the horrible sight as much as he wanted to, they felt glued to it.

The executioner was moving the axe in incomplete swings against the man’s neck trying to get the perfect angle making the crowd laugh as the man torturously waited for his death and the executioner keeps teasing him. The burly hooded man suddenly bent his covered head slightly, until he appeared to give himself a nod raising his axe at a lethal angle into the air along with the volume of the crowd. After a long and dreadful pause the executioner finally let the axe fall. 

Anne’s nails dug into Richard’s shoulders once she heard the loud gruesome sound and Richard put his arms behind her legs scooping her up, hurrying out of the area while bumping into several bodies until he felt the cold air again, letting him know that they left the heat of the jeering crowd. 

He set Anne into a smooth rock that he found near the area and frowned when he noticed her pale expression making her appear as part of the frozen background. He offered her his water container which she took thankfully while he stroked her hand. She handed him the container muttering a barely audible thank you, still not letting go of her tight grip on his hand. 

''Dickon..'' She whispered. 

''It’s over now, we’re far away from them Annie.'' He tried reassuringly despite the nausea threatening to come forth. 

''Anne?'' A familiar voice said from behind and Richard turned around.

The slender man before him stood wearing his armor with a crimson cape flowing down the back, looking angry and worried all in the same mix. 

''Uncle!'' Anne exclaimed surging forward and jumping into her uncle Johnny’s arms crying , his anger fading away as he clutches Anne’s small body reassuringly and gave a look to Richard.  


''I’ll take her from here.'' He says flatly and turns around carrying Anne into the castle.

 _So this was how my father and brother died_ , Richard thought as he stared at the crowd cheering at another life being taken away . He was only glad that he searched for her,he didn’t want to think about Anne witnessing that scene alone.  
*****  
Later in the night he paced outside of Anne’s room like a lion in a cage, wishing that the people inside would just hurry up and leave. The sound of the door opening makes him stop his pacing as he watches three young ladies walk out of Anne’s room followed by Johnny who regarded Richard with a questioning look. 

''Did she see anything?'' Johnny asked. 

''No, I made sure she didn’t …we didn’t know what was happening.'' Richard said in a small voice and Johnny sighed.

''It’s not your fault lad, my brother unexpectedly gave orders to use the barn for executions again.'' He shook his head and Richard nodded although the gruesome scene that his young eyes witnessed were still fixed onto his mind like a seal to a piece of parchment. He was no stranger to violence, he had witnessed it before but never this directly.

''I understand Johnny.'' Richard said using his and Anne’s nickname for the tall auburn haired man that he admired and she adored, not bothering at all to act in a courtly manner. Johnny was the kind of person that resented being addressed formally and made you feel as if you’d known him forever with his easygoing personality that furiously contrasted that of his brother Warwick. 

Richard pursed his lips, "Do you know if my brother is in Yorkshire?’’ which made Johnny’s expression change into a somber one. Even with the little light on the hallway Richard could see Johnny’s hazel eyes glinting with something that he could not decipher.

''Your brother is in London, rest now Richard there are news coming up and you may not be staying here for long.'' He said with an abrupt sour tone before departing from the spot. Richard was left puzzled in the middle of the corridor, partly feeling confused at Johnny’s attitude and disappointed that Edward was not in Yorkshire. 

He could see that Johnny was making his way up the stairs that led into Warwick’s study. Richard was not the one to look kindly upon eavesdropping but curiosity was getting the best of him and he silently followed John like a hunter with his feet barely making any noise. Richard climbed the spiral stairs in silent leaps with his eyes only keeping track of John’s crimson cape dragging against the stairs. He arrived at the top peeking his head from the wall noticing that John had already entered Warwick’s study at the end of the hallway. 

He walked carefully along the corridor as if he was floating above it , until he faced the doors of the study where there was a small gap in between. There were muffled voices inside, sounding as if they were arguing and Richard pushed the door barely an inch further, making the voices of John and Warwick flow out clearly from the small gap between the doors.

''That fool…that stupid, ignorant fool…'' He heard Warwick say, almost as if he was hissing the words through his teeth.

''Richard…'' John muttered.

''Are you going to defend him John?! Are you truly going to defend a reckless action that could cost us more than we can imagine?'' 

''He is the king.'' 

''Yes and I put him there!'' Warwick shouted louder putting an emphasis on the ‘I’. 

''What harm can this bring to us? It’s only a marriage.'' Johnny said, almost as if trying to convince himself.

''Every harm John! We made a pact with France and he goes and marries a Lancastrian strumpet he found begging by the road?'' 

''You are making things a lot worse than they already are!'' John exclaimed frustrated before continuing, ''We have no choice but to accept it regardless of the irresponsibility behind it , Edward has married Lady Grey and that’s how everything is supposed to be from now on, we have come too far to give way into another fallout.'' 

''From now on? No brother, I’ll make sure to get rid of that whore and her family, Edward has to remember who put him where he is.'' Warwick replied calmly, the finality and calmness of his tone sounding more eerie than his angered shouts. 

Richard decided that even with what little he heard he listened enough and backed out of the door running back into the spiral staircase and entering Anne’s room. As he expected, Anne had already fallen asleep. Richard narrowed his mouth into the hint of a smile at the sight, her small body looked as if it was drowning between the thick coverlets of the bed with the only sign of her being the tuff of ginger hair peeking out of the blankets. 

He made his way into a drawer near her bed and took out her book from one of the pockets sown in the insides of his cloak, putting it inside the drawer carefully. But he didn’t leave immediately afterwards, instead he came close to the bed, carefully pulling the coverlet revealing Anne’s sleeping face, looking much more relaxed than when she was awake and still shaking in terror at the event that she was not supposed to witness. He kept staring at her sleeping form before reaching into his cloak and pulling out the soft object that he was hiding throughout the whole day, laying it carefully next to her and her body rolled automatically to clutch it close to her chest. 

Richard left only stopping by the doorway to glance at her, looking just as he wanted her to be, sleeping peacefully, with a hearth to keep her warm and her newly found doll clutched between her arms. He walked back into his rooms quietly, his silent bearing contrasting radically to the battle of thoughts that were drifting through his mind. His brother married a woman that Warwick did not pick for him.

_‘’We’ll be able to use them together soon’’_ Edward’s note had stated and now he was feeling suspicious towards two undefined possibilities, that he would be called soon to join his brother’s court and that he may have witnessed the beginning of a fallout between his cousin Warwick and Edward. One brought him eagerness and the other brought him a tedious apprehension . The weight of these thoughts made Richard feel himself in a special kind of heavy state. He did not want to think anymore and got into his bed , ready to face the nightmares of lolling severed heads staring at him and finding no source of comfort through the night. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The original version I wrote of this chapter was a little dark mainly because I described the execution scene in a rather graphic way as my way of trying something different but I didn't dare to post it because it doesn't fit with the rating and the atmosphere I'm trying to set in the story. I still feel strange at writing about two children watching an execution but I thought that this could be a way of showing their perspective and realization at the violence that goes on around them, although Richard is experienced on that area despite his age. I apologize for mistakes!


	15. Novelties

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Very short chapter.

The sky darkened considerably, with ashen clouds weaving the first storm ever in the year as Richard stumbled over the slippery path of the gardens. He swore that the weight of the books resting on the cradle of his arms was more wearisome than the one of a battle axe made from the hardest steel.

With the raindrops breaking free of their confines to the dark clouds above his situation was all the more difficult. He did not understand why today of all days it had to rain. His struggle to keep track with his missed lessons obligated him to wander around the castle this way every morning: with a tower of fat books resting above his small and tottering frame. The little stairs between two pillars come to sight and with a curse, he remembers that this corridor did not have the helpful rampages that he was accustomed to.

   He maneuvers his hands around the books and tries to climb the steps, but as expected by anyone watching from the sidelines, one of his boots slips and get his feet to do an involuntary dance over the wet surface, leading the young duke to fall backwards and land harshly on his butt with the books flying recklessly into different directions

   The duke sits on the ground with the texts lying in a messy circle around him, legs splayed over the growing puddles and eyes wide in disbelief. The rain falls more steadily and he curses out loud as he scrambles to his knees with hands searching in a blind-like manner for the loose papers that flew out on his fall. His full attention to the rescue of his schoolwork swallows him in such a way that he doesn’t notice the pair of boots coming down the steps to help him.

''Now that’s some language your grace.''

Richard shoots up his head to look at his cousin Johnny, who’s bent over the flooded ground helping him retrieve his books, and then goes back to collect what’s left off.

''I heard Warwick saying that once.'' He replies once he has all the papers while Johnny holds the books as they enter the corridor, shaking off the water from their dripping clothes; the latter laughs faintly once he hears Richard’s reply.

''Ah yes my brother always had an inventive language, particularly in swearing whenever he gets the chance.'' He says as they start walking by the columns sustaining the corridor.

Richard takes note that Johnny is not as unnerved as he was when he saw him last in Warwick’s study. The news of his brother’s secret marriage had already spread like a disease over Middleham, bringing up an alarming rate of whispers in every visible corner of the castle. He feels the need to ask Johnny about Warwick but pauses before he says anything that might give away the eavesdropping that he had done a few weeks ago, he was sure that Johnny would not like that one bit. As Richard often does with practically everything, he calculates his words carefully before speaking.

''I suppose that now that’s all we’ll ever hear from his mouth since these... _news_ have spread'' Richard says as they climb the spiral stairs of the western tower. Even by daylight the stairs of the tower were especially dark with the only hints of light being that of the small windows on the upper sides, but even thus he could see Johnny arching his reddish eyebrows at him.

''Perhaps… but as many things do it will not last for long.'' He replies almost seeming to try and find some finality to his statement but Richard is still feeling overly curious and he stops by the entrance of the second story ,where his reading spot stands untarnished with only weak hints of the last snow melting over the borders of the window. This winter was one of the longest ones he ever witnessed in his short years.

''Do you truly think so? Will Warwick accept my brother’s decision?'' Richard asks staring up at him almost hopefully and Johnny sighs.

_Sometimes I forget how young he is…_

''As I told you, all things- from great ones to little ones- must pass eventually, my brother’s disappointment is nothing to carry on about.'' Johnny replies simply as they exit the tower. Johnny was always one to accept facts in whatever shape they came. At least for now his stressed brother appeared to be keeping himself under control just by the mere influence of John himself.

''I hope you are right… I know my brother has always been unpredictable, but now it's all very new.'' Richard says with a frown as they both lay the dripping books over one of the balconies on the hallway and Johnny turns towards Richard with a faint smile, something that Richard did not expect to see on his face.

''I think that’s not the only novelty from Edward that you’ve taken some notice of.'' Johnny says with his mouth quirked to the side and Richard ponders about what he means until he realizes what it is.

''Oh that, well…yes it is true and I’m very happy but...'' Richard trails off.

''You don’t want to join your brother’s court?'' Johnny asks with his eyebrows raising under the curtain of dark strands matted to his forehead due to the rain.

''Oh yes I do! , of course I do... though I will miss Middleham very much…'' Richard replies touching one of the columns of the balcony almost instinctively and Johnny purses his lips for a moment.

''Yes I see…but think of the possibilities that lie on both sides.'' Johnny says and Richard looks at him frowning

''Are you saying that I should leave because there are more privileges at court?'' Richard asks and Johnny shakes his head

''No, no lad, what I’m saying is that you should think about what lies ahead of each road whether you make the decision to stay or leave, and find out what’s truly significant to you, then you’ll know what to do.'' Johnny finishes thoughtfully leaning over the balcony with his arms crossed, noticing a dark mass entering the gardens. Richard imitates Johnny’s position over the balcony also noticing the mass, which he realizes that it is the girls from the household, looking like a group of tiny monks in one of their daily processions, with their bent heads covered in the hoods of their cloaks and hands hiding in their sleeves.

The oldest are first, immediately followed by the puny shapes of the youngest ones in which Richard tries to find Anne but he doesn’t as all the girls look the same, the failure instantly making the corners of his mouth fall in disappointment.

Johnny amusedly notices Richard’s pout, immediately knowing who he was looking for and didn’t find, but he doesn’t say anything as he knew that Richard was a boy that got embarrassed very easily. The group finally disappears.

''But what am I supposed to choose?'' Richard asks frustrated with his eyes still lingering over the empty space where the girls had been, ''What if both sides are significant?'' he finishes looking at Johnny directly and the latter recollects the vestiges of another lad that had those same dark eyes with only a faint hint of grey in the middle, displaying a glaring contrast to his mop of undisciplined blonde curls.

''I’ve always thought you looked like your brother Edmund,'' Johnny says chuckling and shaking his head, '' But now I’m starting to think you might share his demanding yet insecure nature.'' He says smiling and leaning closer to Richard. "The choice is yours an yours only, now stop lingering in these thoughts and rest for once boy.'' Johnny says ruffling his hair and turning around to leave

''But I’m supposed to go to my governess.'' Richard says and Johnny turns around smirking.

''That old crone was discharged yesterday, now stop being so stubborn and rest as you should lad!'' Johnny exclaims before leaving, only faintly aware of the wide smile that had assaulted Richard’s face. He was growing and it was time for new tutors.

_She’s finally gone…_

Richard becomes aware of the sunbeam rays filtering timidly through the clouds in the sky and comes closer to the balconies in the front of the hallways to stare at it, the sight bringing him a small dose of peace, but with it he also notices a dark stain on the distant horizon, right above the Yorkshire dales, making it known to its subjects below that there will be more storms later.

Regardless of the black mass hovering menacingly in the distance, Richard focuses on the fair and blinding sight that graces Middleham now, with the rain appearing to have left a paradise of gleaming gems hiding between the blades of grass that compose the fields of the castle.

Richard takes his books and manipulates them into the same tower that they resembled earlier, walking towards his rooms with his intention not being that of studying the texts looming over him, but instead being the need to come to a decision for once.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the awful English again! I was going to update earlier but I had a very ugly accident so this short chapter came out. I forgot once again to mention that last chapter already takes place by 1464. The faint descriptions of Yorkshire and the castle as well are pure invention as I've never been there (though I would really love to go!).


	16. Crossroads

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Very short chapter featuring Francis.

Everything had been useless for Richard.

He sat quietly in the space among the tangled roots of a tree, his gaze fixed firmly on the unmoving body of water before him.

The lake resembled a huge mirror splayed flat upon the ground, still and gleaming, its transparent face mocking the sky. It was a pretty sight no doubt, but Richard’s only thought was that Francis could easily become a part of the unmoving lake.

_If only he would say something_

His friend was laying back against the same tree trunk as he, face stony, and brown curls coated in tiny droplets of water

 ''Well I guess that you don’t like idea.’’ Richard finally breaks the silence.

After roving through blurred notions that held no halt, Richard had decided to finally tell Francis about the news since he could not come to a decision, but he should have known that his friend would not help him in the way he wanted. What he wanted was for somebody to tell him if he should leave or not, yet all that Francis gave him was a replica of what Johnny had said to him the day before.

Francis turns his head to Richard, his eyes were that of a light brown color, like ripened wheat, and had a particular shape that made his face appear very tired.

‘’Do you truly want to leave Dickon? ’’ He asks.

‘’Yes..I mean no, I mean…ugh!’’ Richard grunts and stands up, coming closer to the shore of the lake crossing his arms. ‘’I didn’t think it would be this hard, I’ve had more time than I could ask for to think about it, and yet it’s as if I haven’t done any thinking at all.’’

''Then that’s exactly what you need to do.’’ Francis says simply.

He was willing to help Richard, but he could not help but be a little troubled, not only in the fact that his friend was considering leaving, but also in the fact that Richard did not seem to be remembering the people that he would leave behind, he was only thinking about his loyalty to his brother, but he decides not to nag at Richard on those matters.

''What do you suggest? How do you feel about me leaving?’’ Richard asks facing Francis, it felt as if he was asking the same question over and over again but in different forms. He had only thought sporadically of his friends, and concluded that if he left Middleham then they would understand and gave it no second thought. The prospect of being in court was just too grand for him to linger on anything else.

''It does not matter what I think or feel, Richard… the only problem is that I think you are leaving because you think that’s what’s expected of you and not because it’s what you want…that last part can only be known by you.’’ Francis finishes and Richard turns around once again to face the lake.

''I would be at court, by Edward's side…’’ Richard mutters turning his head up to face the sun that boldly graces the silent forest; high and shining with an authority that could match his brother's boastful emblem of the sun in splendor.

 ''It’s pretty soon if you ask me…’’ Francis mutters

That was true. Richard did not understand why Edward called him and George so soon. He was only eleven, though to most he was of age to start understanding politics. He had titles and he was in no doubt that Edward had more in store for him, something that secretly unnerved him. He never heard good things from court either, the court …a nest of vipers waiting for the right moment to pour their poison... but he wasn’t stupid, and he would have George and Edward by his side. Yes, he would have them.

Richard turns around to face Francis once again, who sits in the space of the tree as quiet and collected as ever, sometimes that irritated Richard. He had seen that more times than he could count when the other wards would bully his friend endlessly for his lancastrian father, only to be answered by nothing at all. Despite the present Francis would never repudiate his father’s decisions in the past, acknowledging the jeers would be useless, he would honor his father quietly.

‘’I think I’ve made my decision.’’ Richard says, instantly pursing his lips afterwards and Francis turns his head up to look at him. He stands up quietly and goes near Richard, hiding his disappointment perfectly because he knew what his friend had decided. He did not want to pressure Richard, he was more than sure that if he expressed his disappointment then that would influence Richard to make a decision that he probably did not want. Francis just wasn’t sure if Richard really thought this through.

‘’Whatever decision you make, I will accept it.’’ Francis says and Richard nods at him before they both turn to look at the lake.

***

The length of their journey under the heated sun left them dry by the time they arrived back at the castle. They intended to visit Robert, but that only led them to face their friend’s large body sprawled carelessly over his assigned bed in the infirmary, with his mouth wide open and nostrils flaring with his snores. His governess had dragged him to the infirmary once she discovered his fever, where he had to go through a torturous patron of spoons of syrup and opium, which were soon followed by sleeping draughts to make him rest, or as his nurse put it :‘’To shut him up!’’

‘’You think we should wake him?’’ Francis asks turning to Richard.

‘’No’’ Richard replies quietly as Robert’s body moved unconsciously around the bed that was too small for him, the metal base emitting creaking noises with every shift . In their years as friends they had both learned the hard way that waking up Robert would be like waking up a greedy giant from a legendary tale.

‘’Unless you’d be willing to do the deed yourself of course.’’

‘’No thank you,'’ Francis says grimacing, ‘’What do we do now?’’

‘’We should leave Polyphemus to his sleep, we’ll visit later, I’m sure he’ll be awake.’’ Richard mutters. They turn their heads to look at Robert once more before leaving.

This was one of their free days and it gave them both the chance to spend it together. The brightness of the afternoon gives an air of tranquility that Richard wishes to sustain for as long as he can, mainly because it makes him forget about the feeling that he was doing something wrong, everything still seemed very unclear to him.  

A lot of people knew that the York brothers were being called to court. That fact is confirmed all the more strongly as they pass by the music rooms on their way to Richard’s chamber,because their chosen route only brings speculative looks and whispers from the people that they pass by.

His vexation lays forgotten however, when he notices Anne standing a few feet from him by the balcony, listening intently to something that her aged governess is telling her whilst clutching her rag doll to her hip. It is then that everything becomes a little clearer to Richard and by just noticing Anne’s devastated expression, he is sure that the governess is telling her the news. Everything was wrong, so wrong…

‘’Richard?’’ Francis interrupts him, Richard did not notice that he had stopped once he saw Anne. Francis follows Richard’s gaze and rests it on the girl, immediately understanding what had Richard in such a state.

The governess squeezes Anne’s shoulder before moving to watch over the other girls on her charge, who were either resting around the area or playing invented games.

His cousin stands alone looking at the floor for a good while, but his and Francis’s gazes appear to somehow manifest themselves in a subtle kind of weight because she frowns and turns her head up to stare at them, or more specifically, at _him_ , bearing a look that Richard had promised himself to make sure to never see on her face again, and much less be the cause of it. Whenever she is troubled he just _has_ to be linked to it in one way or another…

Anne jerks her head away as if it hurts to look at him and drops her ragdoll, all too shocked too notice before skipping out of the room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Anne seems to have taken a fancy to run and drop things on her way. If you haven't noticed I changed a few facts of Francis's story , his father was a Lancastrian supporter who died on 1465 leaving a very young Francis to the mercy of the Yorks, Edward turned him to Warwick's care and that's when he met Richard but here in my head Francis's father died soon after the battle of Towton leading Francis and Richard to meet much earlier.


	17. Not a farewell

Richard was only a few steps into the entrance of the chapel, turning his eyes to the short extension of the nave, which was long enough to start out with a hint of clarity and then extend and disappear into a dark mass. The contours of the simple altar were hard to define if it wasn’t for a few lit candles near it.

He wondered who might have lit those candles at this hour in the night, perhaps somebody that had troubled dreams like him. His departure was very near after all.

Admiring his surroundings was a common habit for Richard, but whenever he perceived anything now it did not bring the joy that he always associated with Middleham. Now it only brought him a misplaced sense of longing.

He memorized even the most minor detail, like the resounding toll of the bells in the chapel or the way the fields would glimmer after a shower of rain. Or even just the mere presence of his friends by his side.

_Francis. Robert. Anne._

How could he have discarded them from his mind so easily? At the beginning it didn’t seem all that important, it wasn’t until much later that these troubling feelings arrived and he couldn’t get rid of them. Just as he couldn’t forget Anne’s stricken face on that crowded hallway.

He had seen his cousin sporadically after that, all except during banquets where they would chat very briefly over plates of food – and under the watchful eye of Warwick-, or moments when the girls of the household would head stiffly towards their lessons and he would find himself near their moving groups.

Though he had no real contact with her on these last moments too. If there was something of the sort it would be only the handful of times when he would notice a step that was a little faster than the others, or a curl of red hair escaping from under one of dozens of headdresses huddled together.

It was only a few days ago that he had managed to talk to her, though it had been too short for his purpose and liking.

_The sound of trumpets announced the beginning of a jousting tournament. It was only three low pitched notes, but they ever so little reminded him of the hair-rising echoes of another set of trumpets, announcing in the cold air that somebody’s life was about to be taken away._

_It gave him more reason to not attend. In Middleham spring and summer meant mindless indulgence and these type of events were something to be expected. Still, Richard never assisted or participated, he hated jousting despite everyone’s enthusiasm over the sport. It was something that even his brothers practiced with frequency but he couldn’t stand the idea of even attending a tournament._

_Richard crossed his arms. He was in the courtyard, leaning against a wall near a rosebush, until she came out striding out of the corridor and towards the archway leading outside._

_"Anne!’’ Richard called out. She was with another girl he did not know._

_Anne instantly turned her head at his shout, her face bearing a frown that fell when she recognized him. She immediately sprinted towards him with the other girl trailing behind._

_''I thought I would find you here,’’ Richard said coming near her._

_'' We were heading to see the jousting tournament, I heard Rob was finally joining this year,’’ Anne said before turning to the other girl who stood back at a reasonable distance, she seemed very shy, ''Richard this is my half sister Mary, Mary this is Richard, the duke of Gloucester’’_

_"Your grace’’ Mary said dropping a swift curtsy while Richard tried to not let his surprise show. Warwick had another daughter? Who was her mother? When did she even arrive?_

_‘’She joined our household recently,’’ Anne said looking at Mary,’’ Mary’s a part of our family now’’_

_He only nodded politely to the girl._

_Richard felt that he really wanted to speak to Anne without nobody else near, Anne seemed to know this as she paused before facing her sister, "Richard and I need to talk privately, you can go ahead Mary, I’ll catch up with you soon.’’_

_Mary nodded and left the courtyard, occasionally throwing glances at Anne over her shoulder before departing from their sight. Anne turned to Richard, who was now holding her lost doll in an outstretched hand._

_"I wanted to return this to you,’’ Richard said, "You had lost it again, I did not find the correct time to return it.’’ A startled Anne took the doll from his hands and clutched it close, with a smile breaking out on her face._

_"Thank you Richard,’’ she says turning her face up at him._

_"It’s nothing…’’ he muttered uncomfortably. It was after a moment that Anne stopped smiling, as if she was remembering why her doll had gotten lost for a second time. A silence seized them with neither attempting to break it._

_"Anne…I know you’re upset that I’m leaving,’’ Richard said after the pause, expecting Anne to reply but she only looked down, so he tries again, "I really wanted to talk-"_

_"Richard, now’s not a good time.’’_

_"But when will it ever be a good time?’’ Richard protests, "I’ve been trying to talk to you for days.’’_

_"I know, I know Richard…I don’t pretend to be happy about it,’’ she says ,’’ Things have gotten different, but please I don’t want to have this conversation here.’’_

_Richard huffed, "Then where?’’_

_"I don’t know, but not here and not now,’’ she replied._

_"Will you ever be able to?’’_

_"Perhaps Richard,’’ Anne said, pausing to look at the grass sprouting with tiny yellow flowers, "I have to go.’’ she added before turning to walk in the direction her sister went._

_Richard stood still, he couldn’t force her to stay so there was nothing he could do. Anne turned for a brief moment, "Thank you for returning Bella.’’ she said in a murmur that his audition could barely grasp before leaving the courtyard._

Richard still had not talked to her since that day, where he had been falsely hoping to catch her afterwards. All that he got that day was a sinking feeling of disappointment and rampant news of how Robert had won every tournament with only the duke of Clarence reaching his number of victories.

He walked towards the right aisle, overwhelmed by the darkness consuming the extension, and enjoying the subtle and frightening weight that he always felt when he was in the dark.

There were multiple rows of pews before him, with the only dashes of light coming from the candles that were currently flickering by the choir. At their sight Richard remembered brief times when he, Francis, Rob and occasionally Anne would play games in here, where they would climb over the pews in an unusual kind of race game until somebody would reach the altar first.

Of course it wasn’t something that they did now but it had brought a great deal of good memories. And just like that, just by remembering, Richard found himself watching his legs bending and stretching over the wooden benches below him, and hearing the sounds of his boots hitting the seats.

His hands grabbed the back of every seat, giving him impulse to climb over each one as if his friends were here playing the same alarming game. But it was also after another safe landing that he realized that he wasn’t alone. Somebody else was here, sitting just rows before him, the instant sight making him strangle a shout by putting a hand over his mouth.

He stayed still in the dark, taking in the shape of the person until he slowly grabbed the rear of the next pew and climbed over it, doing the same with the next rows until he reached the bench where the person was sitting.

"I did not expect to find you here’’ Richard said, adjusting himself at a respectable distance.

"I did,’’ Anne replied, "I saw you earlier, you’re not the only one who wanders the castle at this hour’’

Richard had no idea what to say, because despite his calm demeanor he was still trying to expel his shock at finding Anne here. Anne also remained quiet, as if she was stuck in the orange halo that the candles casted around her, until she laughed faintly after a moment. Richard looked at her oddly.

 "What in the world is so funny?’’

''You and me now,’’ Anne said,’’ We always know what to say around each other and now we don’t.’’

 Richard looked down, falling silent again.

"When are you leaving?’’ Anne asked quietly.

 "There’s two days left for us to leave.’’

"Us?’’

 "Me and George,’’ Richard replied.

There was a long pause with both of them just staring at the candles flickering before them. Each and one of them put together in different shapes and levels, reminding Richard of an arranged choir gathered to sing.

"I’ve been a fool.’’ he whispered.

"Why?’’

" I’ve taken everybody for granted…’’ Richard looked away, "I regret it’’ he finally said finding his words, "I hate the idea of leaving Middleham,’’ he continued, "I don’t want to leave Middleham, I don’t want to leave Francis, I don’t want to leave Rob…and I don’t want to leave _you_.’’

"I understand.’’ Anne's voice was weak, trailing off into a low whine.

Richard wanted to say a lot more, but the things he had stored in his mind were forgotten when he turned to Anne.

"Anne…’’ he trailed off , horrified to see that she was on the verge of tears, with her face pinched and creasing continuously as she tried to hide it.

"I’m- I’m sorry...’’ she stuttered with tears already making watery tracks on her face, "I just, I don-’’ she tried again catching her breath.

"Anne h-hey, you can talk to me,’’ Richard says nervously touching her shoulder, not knowing at all how to deal with this.

"I just don’t want you to leave that’s all,’’ she said finally, " I’m..I'm going to miss you terribly,’’ she admitted, nodding repeatedly to herself, trying to control the heaves of her chest and finally daring to look at him, suddenly laughing at his expression through her tears. Richard thought he must have looked horrified. "I’m sorry for this,’’ she says trying to clean her red face, only to choke on her tears again a moment later.

"Please don’t cry Anne,’’ Richard tried, sounding frantic, 'Girls look ugly when they cry.’’ he added, instantly cursing himself for saying something so stupid. However a laugh bubbled out of Anne’s mouth, creating a bizarre blend with the tears that were still falling down her face.

"Oh Dickon,’’ she chuckled at his remark,"You never change,’’ she said smiling at him through her red rimmed eyes," and I hope you never do.’’ she added, this time very seriously.

 "Come here.’’ he murmured tugging on her sleeve, quickly finding himself with a weeping Anne encased securely in his arms, with no intention of letting go. The idea of leaving this girl was taking its toll on him.

 "I’ll miss you too,’’ Richard said into her hair , wrapping his arms tightly around his devastated cousin and feeling oddly content to hold her like this but also miserable at the circumstances, "I’ll miss you terribly.’’

***

Richard entered his room feeling heavy. The sight of the empty bed called for him to just fall flatly on the surface. The children had at least spent an hour on the chapel before Richard offered to escort Anne back to her chamber since it was getting late.

He fell onto the surface of the bed with his arms outstretched, putting a hand above his heart. Right now he did not want to think, his head hurt, his eyes felt like they were burning and just thinking about all the things he would leave behind made a new round of tears gather at his eyes.

_Two days left._

Everything weighted down on him and Richard suddenly shot up, eyes fixed on his desk, standing still in a corner with neatly arranged parchments on top of it. Giving it no more thought he rushed to the desk, dipping the feathery quill on a pool of ink before beginning to write.


	18. Goodbye brother

A crack in the fireplace brought Warwick back from the trance in which Richard’s words had put him through.

Warwick always thought that from the York brothers -or at least from the ones that were currently under his care- it would always be George who would be the keenest one towards the unpredictable and unexpected. Despite his favoritism towards the lad sometimes he was too much like Edward for his liking .One set of rules, one exclusive path or choice and he would find a way to exclude from it. But right now Richard, the youngest and ever so loyal brother to the king, had displayed what Warwick considered to be the only stroke of surprise that the boy would ever show.

A messy arrangement of papers lied on Warwick’s desk while he tapped a finger against the wood, staring curiously at the wiry boy standing in front of him.

''Richard,'' Warwick starts, he did not call them by their titles very often, George once commented upon it with clear annoyance but Richard seemed to hardly notice, ‘’you may need to think this through.’’

''No, I’m tired of thinking.’’ Richard replies before pausing and staring at the kingmaker, ''I’ve made my decision.''

''And you know this is a very important decision, one that could affect your future.’’ Richard only looked down, shifting in his feet, ''As well as you know that it was a request from the king.'' Warwick finishes.

''Of course I do… but he is also my brother, he gave me the option to choose, and this is what I choose.'' Richard replies, though he could not help but feel insecure at the thought of how Edward would react. Warwick slumps back in his chair with a sigh.

''Well, since you seem so secure in your choice I see no reason to oppose you,'' Warwick says lacing his fingers together, ''But may I ask you a question?'' Richard nods, wondering with what else the kingmaker would hold him in his office, ''Why are you willing to stay here?’’

Richard felt very small in Warwick’s presence all of the sudden, even if the latter was sitting down across from him. What was he supposed to say? He had many reasons to stay but he wasn’t going to mention the main one.

''I am not convinced that this is the correct time to send me to court,'' Richard says, ''I want to serve my brother well, and to do that I have to be fully learned in my duties to him and to the country,'' he continues, ''But that moment hasn’t arrived yet, and I’m not prepared.''

''You know that your education could be continued in his household.''

''Yes, but I would rather complete it in a setting that I’m accustomed to, and I trust that my preparation shall be in better hands here.'' Richard responds, which earns a pleased grin from the kingmaker.

Warwick did not know what Edward had in mind, and quite frankly nobody ever did. Still, with what had happened in the past months he could not help but think that Edward was beginning to distrust him. Their screaming match at the gathering where Edward announced his marriage- and Warwick’s characteristic subtleness shattered- was enough to commence a wide range of stories and rumors about Warwick. Perhaps the bastard called his brothers at this early stage because he thought that he would influence them in a bad way, but here was the quiet and loyal York boy, asking to stay in his household instead of joining his brother in a court full of more luxuries and promises. Even George had hesitated for a time before agreeing to leave. Warwick found himself seeing a greater side to the situation, George’s delay and Richard’s decision to stay could show Edward how much his brother’s truly respected him, taming down the lies that the Woodville whore must have been whispering in Edward’s ear. The fact that it could strengthen the possibilities of the marriages to his daughters was even greater, that was an arrangement that had been left without conclusion.

''Sir?'' Richard says with a frown, bringing Warwick back from his thoughts.

''Pardon me, so you are sure that you want to stay?''

''Yes I am.''

''I see…well me and my brother would be more than glad to keep you here for a while more.'' Warwick says referring to Johnny, just before his face stretches into a grin, ''Oh and my daughter will surely be happy to hear the news!'' Warwick exclaims with a faint laugh, bringing Richard’s unwanted subject on purpose.

Richard’s face reddens slightly, ''Yes, I suppose so…'' 

Warwick pauses to stare at the young duke.

"Tell me, does your choice to stay in my household have something to do with my daughter?'' Warwick asks without breaking the eye contact.

''I…'' Richard trails off lowering his head, feeling his face and neck flush before tilting his head up at the kingmaker, with a look that was close to a glare, why would he ask that? Richard didn’t feel comfortable talking about Anne with him, ''I already stated why I am choosing to stay, there’s no more to that matter.'' He says sternly making Warwick laugh while he stands up from the chair and goes near the window that overlooked distant fields.

''Well…. since you appear so secure I’ll make sure your letter reaches Edward.'' Warwick says having noticed Richard’s faltering demeanor, ''Now would be a good time for the both of you to say goodbye’’ he says staring at the distant field with a lavender spot in the middle.

''What do you mean sir?'' Richard asks confused. For him and Anne to say goodbye?

''Oh forgive me, I do not mean you and Anne." Warwick says turning to him, ''I mean you and your brother George.''

***

Edward’s response was rather curt and brief, much to Richard’s relief and discomfort. He did not want to think about it anymore. His decision was made, and regardless of Edward’s opinion there was nothing that could be done now, he didn’t regret his choice despite having previously been eager at the idea of being in court, he only hoped Edward wouldn’t take it the wrong way. Middleham was like a pattern bedecked with all the precious things he had found in it, he was only sad that one of those things-one that wasn’t found but more likely had been with him all along- was leaving. George’s departure was delayed for the weekend and he still had not talked to him. That was why he was now standing in the doorway of George’s chamber, watching as his older brother scurried around the room collecting things for his journey to London while rain sprayed over the windows. George was so immersed in his task that he did not notice Richard standing by the doorway.

''They say you’re leaving tomorrow.'' Richard breaks the silence making George come to an abrupt halt and turn to him. After a moment he averts his gaze.

'' I’m only making sure I have more than one pair of trousers on my way.'' George replies moving towards a chest on the floor; Richard steps into the room.

''Why are you here Dickins?'' George asks while putting his clothes in the chest.

_That damn nickname…_

''I noticed you weren’t at the dinner.'' Richard says, though that was a lame excuse.

''It was quite hectic in there.''

''You can’t expect London to be any different.'' 

''I know that,'' George says, finally turning to look at him, ''I’ve heard you aren’t coming with me.''

''Yes...'' Richard trails off, ''I actually came to say goodbye.''

George pauses before continuing to silently arrange clothes and books in the chest.

''So it’s true then.'' George says nonchalantly, though Richard couldn’t decipher if his words carried an undertone of disappointment.

''It’s not like I planned it, I was happy to leave but I realized some things, it’s all… differen-''

''You don’t need to give me any explanation, I wouldn’t care anyway,'' George snaps, '' I know why you’re staying.''

''You do?''

‘’You may fool Edward little brother, but never me, ''George says coming closer to Richard, noticing two silver daggers hanging from Richard’s belt, making George scoff in disgust, ''What a sweet detail,’’ he mutters with fake amusement, grabbing the belt forcefully and noticing the boars that were emblazoned at the handles of the daggers, ''How disappointed will he be when I arrive by myself.’’ he says before shoving the belt backwards, making Richard stumble. The sight of Richard’s alarmed face only made him angrier. ''Why would you even come here? You don’t have to feel obligated to say goodbye to me when I won’t even care to say it to you.’’ he spits.

   ''Why are you being like this to me? I just wanted to say goodbye.'' Richard says with his voice breaking at the end, feeling his throat contract. Richard did not understand why he felt so unexpectedly weak right now, this was something that he was used to anyway, but the fact that George was leaving made everything worse.

  ''Oh please don’t tell me you’re going to cry now.'' George scoffs before turning around and crossing his arms, his expression falling into one of guilt.

''Make fun of me if you want, but I needed to say goodbye.'' Richard says.

''You won’t be here for long, soon enough that Woodville woman will be crowned and you’ll come to London.'' George responds, which makes Richard raise his eyebrows at George’s attempt to reassure him. The older boy moves his head to the side, as if trying to avoid eye contact with Richard before he goes near a window to stare at the storm that was taking place outside.

''I hope Isabel doesn’t hate me.'' George whispers to himself before shaking his head, ''She didn’t even come to say goodbye to me.''

'' I’m sure she’ll come around’’ Richard murmurs, playing with his hands, ''I don’t hate you for leaving…’’ he mutters to himself while looking at the ground, making George turn and come near him.

''I never quite understood you Richard,'' George says, ''I’ve been nothing but awful to you these past three years, why do you even bother to show concern for me?''

"It wasn’t all that bad … you’re my brother,'' Richard says still staring at the floor while fidgeting with his hands, ''and I know you care.''

George frowns, still not understanding but he wouldn’t press on.

"Well, to make up for what you came here for….goodbye brother.'' 

"Goodbye brother." Richard repeats before without any sense of thought, he throws his small arms around George. He didn’t care if George pulled away, he just needed to try. George stood there without responding, surprised at his usually distant and quiet brother’s display of affection. Richard on his part knew that George would never in a lifetime apologize for treating him the way he did, but when he feels George return the embrace he realizes that he doesn’t care.

***                          

George is set to leave very early in the morning, with the earl of Warwick and Johnny standing on sight to say goodbye to him. Richard hides behind the gate as he is supposed to be in classes, but he wanted to be here despite George not knowing it. He was sure that his friends were taking their respective lessons as well.

After sharing some words with both of the Neville brothers, George, the party of soldiers and flags of the white rose finally begin to move away from the crowd of servants watching the duke leave. Warwick and Johnny stay for a while to watch the group leave until both finally depart from the place together. Richard comes out from his hiding place, slowly walking towards the center of the yard before a scream makes him whip his head to the direction of the gate.

''George!'' Isabel shouts as she runs barefooted across the yard in a white robe, she looked as if she had just woken up, ''George! George!''

A middle-aged lady was chasing after the hysterical girl-she was her governess- before giving up and relenting to watch as the girl reached the young duke, who had stopped and turned his horse around to go near her. Richard couldn’t hear what they were saying, but Isabel was holding tightly onto the reins of George’s horse as her lips moved and George listened attentively to her, with his fair head catching the light of the sun. 

Isabel then appeared to have stopped speaking, her silence seeming to have been absorbed by every person on the place. George stared down at her seriously while she kept a hand pressed above his leg and another on the reins of his horse as if trying to keep him from leaving. Richard didn't make much of the scene before him, until George leaned down and kissed her fully on the mouth. 

The duke's bold action make the people around Richard erupt into a rush of gasps and murmurs. But still, Isabel remained with her head upturned as George pulled her head closer to his in the middle of their kiss, completely uncaring of their distant audience. After they pull away George brushes an ungloved hand through her rumpled hair and rests his forehead against hers, whispering something only for her ears to hear until he raises up and at last sees Richard’s figure in the distance. He stares in shock for a moment- having not expected Richard to be there at all. George kept staring for a long while at the tiny shape of his brother in the distance, gathering his emotions before finally waving at him, to which Richard instantly waved back as George proceeded to take a hold of his reins, turning at last with a heavy heart and never looking back at neither his heartbroken cousin or his small brother, who still stood with a hand suspended in the air.

The governess finally reached Isabel and pulled her through the lawn.

''That will earn you the worst boxing you ever had in your life young lady!'' Isabel did not seem phased by her governess's reproach, as when they passed by Richard’s side he noticed that Isabel had a dazed look on her face as she clutched a brown glove- George's glove- to her chest. It was hard to associate this disheveled girl to the one that always appeared so kept and disciplined in public.

Richard keeps watching George’s shape shrink as he gets further away from Middleham, until he feels someone hold his suspended hand and bring it down, making him turn his head and smile when he sees who it is. Anne was almost unrecognizable in her grey uniform, mostly due to the uniform’s respective headdress that covered her entire head, leaving no hint of her auburn hair. She smiles back at him, holding tightly onto his hand before Richard feels another person touching his shoulder. When he turns he is surprised to see Francis and Robert by his other side, both also clad in their uniforms and bearing grins at the prospect of having their friend stay with them. Instead of asking them why weren't they at their classes, Richard kept smiling despite the sadness that threatened to overwhelm him at his brother's departure. He was going to miss George, it was better if he just admitted it to himself. But for now his friends were enough to grant him support, and he felt immensely grateful for having them in his life. That was why as the four of them watched the party leave Richard thought that he had made a good decision.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Forgive the mistakes.  
> I feel really dumb that I got emotional writing some parts of this. Damn mean siblings!  
> This story is not very close to the end but let's say that it is close to a type of ''intermission'' as there will be a point when the years will jump into the time when Richard is a teenager. That will probably happen once I reach Elizabeth's coronation which will happen very soon. I really want to finish this already.


	19. Gift of a burden

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Pointless but necessary chapter ahead.

_3 months later_

The doctor stared in a mix between wonder and alarm at the curve that was bared before him. It was absurd that such a thing would cause _him_ , a man gifted with a profession that made it mandatory to watch and treat the most repulsive things imaginable, to falter at the sight of a bent spinal column. The boy in front of him tilted his head to the side, waiting for the word of the doctor as if waiting for a final verdict.

 ''I…’’ the old man trailed off before passing a hand through his graying hair, ''I’m sorry I just haven’t seen something like this, ever.’’

Richard lowered his shirt and turned around, eyes hard, ''So you mean nothing can be done.’’

 ''I’m a physician lad, not a miracle worker.’’

 ''You’re useless!’’ Richard exclaimed, proceeding to pace around the stale room. ''My masters have practically scavenged the earth searching for doctors and yet it’s like going through a patron of the same pointless advice!’’

 ''Richard show some respect,’’ Johnny warned from the corner of the room. ''Dr. Howard is trying everything he can.’’

The doctor dismissed Johnny’s berate with a wave of his hand.

"That is not necessary my lord, this is a heavy burden for such a young boy to carry.’’

"I’m not that young’’ Richard said indignantly as the doctor packed his medical instruments in a brown bag. It was then that the doctor thought that the reason for his initial shock was because of how young the carrier of that deformity was. The man finished packing and turned to Richard.

 ''I’m very sorry I couldn’t help you in the way you wanted your grace, but you should know that this is not something that’ll make you inescapably handicapped, you’ll still be able to play, run and fight… and whatever it is that boys like to do these days,’’ He continued, " What I’m truly saying is that you shouldn’t see this condition as something to bring you down, but more likely as a reason, and a dare to become the best you can.’’

Richard stared up quizzically at the older man before lowering his head again, remaining silent.

"He needs to rest, if it’s alright with you I would like to give continuity to this matter and see how the boy progresses, in the meantime only exercise and backrubs will do some good.’’ The doctor says to Johnny once he is set to leave.

''Thank you Dr. Howard, I’ll make sure to send for you whenever it is required.’’ Johnny said before the doctor departed.

Johnny turned to Richard, noticing that he was still staring at the floor. He moved and sat across from him on one of the spare beds.

‘’What’s wrong boy?’’

‘’Isn’t it obvious?’’

‘’I have seen much worse things, this is nothing to make you falter.’’

‘’That still doesn’t stop it from hurting me, I look like a freak!’’ Richard exclaimed in frustration, putting his head in his hands.

Johnny shook his head, ‘'The doctor was right in what he said Richard, this won’t stop you in your progress…unless you let it be so.’’

"You make it sound like it’s so easy when it’s not.’’

''Ah but that’s where you are wrong, I am completely aware that this is not an easy thing despite not being the one who has it.’’ he said, ‘’But I show little worry in your condition because _you_ are the one who carries it.’’

''I don’t follow.’’

''What I mean is that you’re a strong boy Richard, everybody has to face difficulties and tribulations be it whatever shape they come in… and as strange as it sounds if such things did not exist then our achievements would not feel as victorious as they should.’’

Richard blankly stares at him before turning his head away, alternating between watching the sunlight stretching over the windows and fisting the blankets of his bed.

''You are a good fighter Richard, the only thing you can let your condition do is inspire you to improve.’’

Richard remained quiet, frowning at the floor. He really did not understand why it had to be him to carry this, but Johnny’s words gave everything a whole new meaning. He wasn’t going to back down, he’d rather take all the plights in the world than back down.

His mouth set into determined line, ''I’ll be strong,’’ he said before staring at Johnny, ‘’I’ll be the best.’’

***

The first signs of fall were already starting to appear in earthy colors and bare trees. Today was particularly cold and windy. Richard threw a woolen shroud over his shoulder as he walked along a hallway near the his quarters, with his boots creating echoes and the wind messing up his hair, which had gotten rather long in the span of the months since George’s departure _._

_George..._

It had already been three months without his brother. In the previous week Richard finally gathered his courage and decided to send a letter to him. He was still waiting for the response, he really missed his brother. That had been another reason for his bad mood in the infirmary, as George was the one who accompanied Richard whenever he had to be treated, which had led to a series of priceless brawls between George and the physicians.

Richard tightened the dark layers of clothing around his torso as he reached the gardens, where a small group of girls were dancing in front of lady Marguerite. It appeared that lady Marguerite had decided that the youngest ones were ready to practice outside. Richard sat in a small set of stairs, wincing in pain at the contact. His back was particularly sensitive, which was why Johnny decided to send for a doctor once Richard had separated from the group of wards and rushed towards Johnny to tell him that he didn’t feel well.

Johnny’s words from earlier were hopeful but it still didn’t stop his frustration and embarrassment at the deformity that he had in his back. He felt himself grow even more paranoid as he notices Anne in the distance with her half-sister, in what appeared to be a dance in pairs. There was no way in the world that he would ever let her find out.

He leaned his head on the wall by his side feeling tired, beginning to hear the sounds of dozens of footsteps in the story above. He knew by then that the wards had been dismissed from their current lessons and were now heading towards a session of training. In this moment he felt as if whatever energy he had was drifting off, as if the rest that he got in the infirmary was nothing but a dream. The drowsiness that he felt almost seized him before he felt somebody waving a hand in front of his face.

‘’School's finally getting to you.’’ Francis said with a shake of his head before moving to sit beside him in the staircase. He had come upon Richard on his way down to the training.

Richard groaned, ''The air itself is getting to me,’’ he muttered, turning to his friend. ''Where’s Rob?’’

‘’I guess he must be on his way to the training.’’

''Don’t you two take Latin together?’’ Richard says eyeing the book of Latin that Francis always carried with him.

''Well yes but I missed the lesson.’’

Richard raises his eyebrows. Francis missed a lesson? He knew for certain that it wasn’t because his friend decided to skip it, skipping had been a bad habit Richard used to practice way back then, with Anne always being his undeniable companion.

''Why was that?’’ Richard asked turning to Francis, suddenly very interested but Francis stayed quiet, as if lost in a reverie.

''Francis?’’

There was another pause before Francis at last responded, ''I’m going to get married.’’

Richard stopped for a moment, widening his eyes. 

He finally gathered his thoughts back together, it felt as if a dozen questions had broken free inside his mind but it was too messy for him to even properly calculate one, ''M-married?’’ he asks dumbfounded. Francis nodded and looked away, focusing his eyes on the group of girls.

Marriages at this stage were not unheard of but then again he had never thought that Francis would be getting married this abruptly.

''I uh…’’Francis breaks the silence, clearing his throat, ''I was called to Warwick and that’s why I missed the lesson, he and a few others were there including John. Before I could even muster a breath they told me I was to be married, they told me...they told me that they had found a good match...’’

Richard stayed quiet for a good while, trying to find the right words.

''To whom?’’

''Anne Fitzhugh, she has a close affinity to the Neville family.’’

The name is instantly familiar to Richard, he had met her many times during events though she was a girl of few words. Richard was still shocked that they were already making arrangements for Francis. Maybe it was because of his deceased father’s states over the country, and they somehow felt the need to finally plait Francis into the large web that was the York elite.

''I have met her Francis, she’s very pretty.’’ Richard said, earning a huff from his friend.

''I guess it needed to be done.’’ Francis mutters staring into the distance, as if he didn’t hear Richard at all.

''When’s the ceremony?’’

''I don’t know, it might take a while." Richard pursed his mouth, remaining silent before finally asking what he really wanted to ask.

''Are you alright?’’

''I’m fine, it's just unexpected that's all.’’ Francis sighed.

''It will be alright.’’ Richard reassured him, even though he hardly ever talked to the girl. He just hoped that everything would turn out as it should for Francis.

Marguerite’s class appeared to have stopped as she was now leading the girls upstairs. His eyes found Anne who was standing up from the ground, taking off her headdress and hooking her arm around her sister Mary’s. The two estranged sisters appeared to have been getting on very well.

As the girls left Richard suddenly noticed a long yellow ribbon tied prettily on Anne’s hair, with the sunlight dancing on its bright surface. The vision made Richard grin, his heart rushing with warmth as he noticed that Anne was wearing his birthday gift, a ribbon that didn’t even match with her uniform but that she still wore underneath her headdress without a care.

Back then giving her a birthday gift had felt more like an obligation because she was his cousin. But this past June he felt a gnawing need to do something different and so he consulted Johnny to let him take her to the nearest town to choose a gift. Anne had been very shy but happy to be visiting the little town with him. Just when they finally came across a particular shop it had taken some time for her to finally pick her gift.

Despite the wide range of pretty jewels and fine head wears, Anne quietly pointed at none other than a simple yellow ribbon laying on the table in front of them, its happy color paling under the gleam of the jewels placed around it but for Anne it appeared as the most beautiful thing she ever saw. 

''I should get going, Master Lewis will have my head if I don’t show up,’’ Francis said referring to one of their masters, beginning to stand up, ''Are you feeling better? They told me you left Arithmetic’s because you weren’t feeling well.’’

''It was nothing but a passing headache.’’ Richard replied quickly, standing up as well, ''I’m feeling alright.’’

''You coming with? If they excused you, you can pass the day off.’’

A day off sounded wonderful for Richard, he felt very tired and the pain in his back had all but faintly diminished. Still, what happened in the morning set him in a new kind of judgement as despite his current pain missing something as important as his schooling felt like wasting a huge amount of time.

''No, I’m coming with you.’’ Richard said, proceeding to walk beside Francis, ''Oh and I forgot to tell you,’’ Richard says as they continued walking.

''Forgot to tell me what?’’

''Congratulations.’’ Richard says making Francis stop for a moment before snorting and shaking his head.

They continued to walk in silence, Francis was very eager to reach the training, the physical activity would surely clear his head off anything else that disturbed it, especially with somebody like Richard to fight with. Richard however found himself in a new kind of reflection as they walked, suddenly unable to shake off the new arising question of who would he be marrying in the near future.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was taking a break from this but seeing the arrangements for the reburial of Richard III's remains brought back the need to write. I have to say I am quite disappointed of where they decided to bury him but that's the way it is. 
> 
> This was kind of a pointless chapter really but I wanted to show more of Richard's scoliosis, his insecurity and Francis's upcoming marriage. I could say that scoliosis was the thing that drove me to search more of RIII since I also have it, so his frustration at the beginning was relatable. On Francis's marriage there's inaccuracies again since Francis is said to have been married in 1466 but the chronology here is different, though it will take some time before the marriage takes place. Anyways hope you liked it, there's at least one more chapter until Elizabeth's coronation.


	20. New plans

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Moody Richard ahead.

Richard focused his sight through the tiny gap of his visor, feeling suffocated with the restriction of the armor. The changing winds were crisp, providing some comfort for the tight enclosure of his attire.

The yard was in a rush of activity that day, where boys from the household practiced with their weaponry while some girls including his cousins were sitting under the shade of a tree, scattered around its brownish firmness like the hem of a skirt; happily chatting away or practicing their embroidery.

He finally lifted his helmet with a sharp slide, wondering if he should put it back on to avoid the boy that was sprawled on the grass in front of him, and the scold that he would surely get anytime soon.

“Richard! Is caution something that you ever take into account?” Johnny rebukes as he approaches Richard with a frown of disagreement. Richard rarely lost his hand during combat sessions, but now he did, and Johnny knew that with the pride that so resembled the one of his mother he would not be easy to deal with.

“Wounds are to be expected in combat,” Richard replies.

“Not in the fashion that you delivered them, we are training you as a soldier not a savage.” Johnny says pointedly and Richard looks up at him in irritation.

“He could have easily done the same to me, we are meant to get pain and endure it.” he responds, making John stop and set his mouth in a thin line, his hazel eyes blazing.

“Come,” his cousin says calmly, something that in a Neville way meant that his patience was at a breaking point, that fact was all the more true when Johnny took a painful grip of Richard’s shoulder and led him to the place where Warwick was bent over the hurt boy.

The boy was Richard Ratcliffe, one of the dozen wards from the household. Richard did not spend too much time with him, but when he did both boys found some semblance of friendship and a good amount of laughs at their shared names, meaning that whenever one of the boys was called both of them would immediately turn around. That didn’t seem to matter to Richard at the moment.

Johnny halted and bent down into a squat, fixing Richard with a firm gaze that the young duke found very hard to avoid.

“Apologize.” he ordered, thinking that it would take some time to squeeze an apology out of the youngest York brother.

“Why should I?”

“Because I ordered you so.”                                

“No.”

“My lord that is not necessary-” the boy on the ground starts only to be shushed by Johnny.

“ _Apologize._ ” Johnny repeats firmly, “Our code of honor repudiates cheap pride and recognizes faults in oneself. If you still pretend to keep acting like a stubborn fool perhaps you won’t mind me taking the initiative to confine you in your chamber until you actually gain some respect for your peers as well as yourself, though you should know that I won’t be taking you there in a light and friendly manner.”

Richard’s face and neck flushed in anger as he avoided Johnny’s gaze. The movement under the tree caught his eye, noticing that Mary was sitting below it while Anne braided her hair and Isabel sat at the back, looking pensive. If this pointless discussion kept on going everybody would soon notice.

Pausing for a moment, Richard shut out his pride and turned towards the boy, it felt like swallowing a bitter drug, he thought it was degrading. With a blank look he finally managed to say “I’m sorry for hurting you.”

Ratcliffe only nodded, too much in pain to care.

“Enough with this, the boy needs to be taken to the infirmary.” Warwick speaks for the first time, standing up from his kneeling position, “Do you need help?"

The boy shakes his head and stands up on legs that were weak from sitting on the ground for too long while covering a nose that appeared to be severely bruised, “I can walk there myself.”

Richard had been so engrossed in his stubbornness that he forgot that Warwick had heard his and Johnny’s heated exchange. He didn’t appear to mind however.

“I’ll go with the boy, Richard you’re dismissed.” Johnny says before following Ratcliffe to the infirmary.

Richard stood still in his place.

“You two caused quite the scene.” Warwick says.

“I was just doing what I thought I was supposed to be doing.”

Warwick shook his head. 

“I didn’t think I would see a side of you that even faintly paralleled the one of your brothers” he says, “Facts can hit you straight in your faces but you rarely acknowledge your wrongs.”

Richard stayed quiet before speaking. “That sounds more like Edward.”

Warwick raised an eyebrow. “Right you are… four years ago I told your brother that I would care for you and George as if you were my sons, yet a good amount of time has passed and you still remain quite a mystery to me.”

“My lord?”

“Many things have happened these past months, things that I’m sure you’re aware of, I want to know more about what lies behind that guarded mask that you put on, I want to know what the ever so quiet and youngest York brother has to say.”

“On what subject sir?”

“Your brother’s marriage”

Richard stopped and looked up at Warwick. Why would he ask that now? He was sure Warwick was over that. Especially with the time that passed since it happened. “I’m not sure if it really matters what I think.”

“Consider it only a matter of curiosity.”

“My brother is free to do what he wants and practice it in whatever way he chooses.”

“Even when it involves siding with the enemy and bestowing all of his favors upon them?” Warwick questions, making Richard narrow his eyes. He thought that what he had originally considered to be a resentment directed towards the queen was most likely directed at her family rather than her.

“It might be of some advantage at a certain level, my brother may have the Rivers high in his favor but he would never disregard the one that brought us to where we are, I know for certain that I don’t and never will.”

“You’re very thoughtful.” Warwick says, pausing and turning his gaze to the field, where he took notice of a chestnut mare being led by Francis Lovell, who was conversing with the girl that sat atop the creature; that same girl being his betrothed Anne Fitzhugh. “I recall that your birthday took place last week Richard.”

“Yes, I turned twelve.” Richard responded with a little pride. Warwick noticed exactly in that moment that Richard’s development was starting to show in a rather outstanding way. The small boy that arrived four years ago was stretching into a slender young man with a clever mind and a proud and quiet bearing. Though he didn’t seem to carry the fondness for self-indulgence that his older brothers had, and Warwick found that to be quite unusual.

“Such a shame I couldn’t attend,” Warwick muttered, thinking of the still unfinished business he had with the French ambassador, “I mentioned previously that many things had happened, things that you must be aware of….” Warwick trailed off, “you do know about the agreements for Francis’s betrothal, do you not?”

“Yes I do, Francis is very enthusiastic about it.” Richard says, covering up Francis’s initial frustration over the matter.

Warwick was pacing around the place slowly, as if deep in thought before turning to Richard, “What if I told you that there was something that you aren’t aware off yet? A new arrangement involving you.”

“What kind of arrangement?”

Warwick remained silent for a moment before speaking.

“A marriage arrangement.”

 The noises coming from the activity of the yard suddenly sounded muffled to Richard. He stared back in shock at Warwick, his mouth opening and then closing at a loss for words.

 “This arrangement is precisely why I’m talking to you here and now.” Warwick explained. The boy looked utterly stunned.

“A-a marriage? You mean I’m to be married?” Richard asked, clearly alarmed.

“That’s quite accurate your grace.”

“How come I was not informed before?”

 “Oh it’s been an arrangement that has been planned for quite some time, though it was always left inconclusive, but now your brother and I have come to a mutual agreement that you and George are of an age to marry.”

“George…” Richard mutters before frowning and shaking his head, “But this is rather abrupt, who are we going to be married to?

Warwick came closer and guided Richard’s gaze to the place below the tree.

 “My daughters will surely make beautiful brides.” Warwick affirms and Richard breaks away abruptly from his grasp, looking between Warwick and his cousins repeatedly.

“I’m….” he trailed off, looking thoughtful and perplexed at the same time, “I’m going to marry Anne.” he finally says, suddenly feeling the need to say it again and think on how the sentence felt coming from his mouth.

“You two are very close from what I’ve seen, four years have been enough to prove it to myself, It’s an ideal and advantageous match, you should be content.” Warwick remarked, to which Richard blinked several times. Never in his life did he imagine Anne as his wife, he always assumed that he would get married to a foreign princess or a familiar duchess. At the moment he was too flooded with surprises to properly respond to Warwick.

“I know this must seem very abrupt, but I hope you find no trouble in this matter.”

 Richard paused for a moment before facing Warwick directly. “I find no trouble at all, if you and my brother have agreed to it then I shall obey with no hesitation.”

“That’s more like it” Warwick grins, “ For now nothing will be done, but once Elizabeth’s coronation takes place in London we will discuss it further with your brother to make the announcement.”

Richard nodded, still feeling quite baffled. By the corner of his eye he noticed that Francis was coming towards them.

“I’m glad we had this discussion, have a good day your grace.” Warwick says turning around to leave, directing a curt greeting to Francis as he passed him.

“Dickon! This is - Oh but how thoughtless of me, I forgot that you two have already met.” a bashful Francis said as he arrived, leading the tired horse forward.

“Good day your grace.” Anna Fitzhugh said from the saddle, looking very lovely.

“Good day, my lady.” Richard replied with a curt nod, wishing that he could tell Francis the news.

“Are you alright? You look bothered by something.” Francis observes.

“The exertion has me feeling quite tired,” Richard said, suddenly turning to the girl with a smile, “So, did my painfully demure friend manage to catch a prize to impress you?”

The smack from Francis was expected.

“I’m afraid not, but he most certainly caught my attention.” Anna said smiling while Francis looked down embarrassed.

“I suppose that’s a good thing, though I assure you that he’ll bore you to tears with tales about the principles of Latin.”

 Another smack.

“I’m sure I’ll endure it.”

“Anna herself shows a great appreciation of it thank you very much.” Francis remarks sourly.

“I hope I get to see you more often my lady.”  

“We surely will, I anticipate seeing you at the coronation.” Anna replied to Richard.

“I’ll be the one with the bored face.” Richard affirmed in a mockingly serious tone as he came close to kiss her hand.

“I’ll keep that in mind.” she laughed as her horse moved forward.

The sky was already darkening. Francis only stayed behind for a moment to talk to Richard.

“Are you sure you’re alright? Even your shameless flirting with my betrothed couldn’t hide it.” he said grimly, making Richard laugh.

“Well, it’s always fun to annoy you.” Richard admitted. 

Francis pursed his mouth, deep in thought before talking.

“What do you think this new queen will be like?” he asks, to which Richard paused, raising an eyebrow at his friend's unexpected question.

“I suppose we’ll find out when the time comes.” Richard finally says as Francis regarded him questioningly, knowing that there was something that Richard wanted to say but didn’t want to.

 Richard smiled faintly at him, “I’m fine Francis, go to her.” he gestured towards Anna.

 Francis paused, giving him a look before finally leaving to catch up with his betrothed.

 As Richard found himself alone, the density of Warwick’s news suddenly dawned upon him in such a way that it felt like a physical weight.

With a very strange sensation he turned to look at the tree, which was being deserted by the girls who were now walking back to the castle, looking like shadows. His dark eyes finally found the person he was looking for; Anne, who was now being carried by Isabel, sleeping soundly with her head suspended over her sister’s shoulder and curls bouncing with every step.

The weight faded away slowly, leaving an overwhelming lightness.

_“You are wrong Francis, I’m not bothered at all.”_

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't know how I managed to post this as time is not in my radar.  
> Next chapter will be the coronation, that will most likely show Richard's reaction to Elizabeth as well as erm, new feelings. I'll try to update, there's only one more chapter of child Richard (though here he is turning to a preteen), the next ones will feature him years later when he's a teenager. I calculate that this will have at least seven more chapters until the dreadful conclusion I came up with.


	21. The coronation

 

_May, 1465_

The shadow of the archway faded for the passing procession, letting in a burnished flash from the sun that posed in a sky bared of any clouds, looking like a counterpart for the sun in splendor that occupied some of the banners among the large party; just put there to establish a minor but prominent presence of the king, who was now ready to have his golden queen displayed to the world.

The queen was being carried in a litter, bedecked in gold, rubies and pearls; leaving folks convinced that the king had secretly married a living Madonna, a Madonna of grey eyes and a gilded mane, sitting proudly in her suspended place over the cobbles coated in an endless carpet of white roses, as if her curtained seat was the grand throne that she would occupy soon.

Everybody appeared to have a certain glow about them that day, it might have been because of the thrilling prospect of such big event, or it might have been because of the people being clad in their most extravagant finery. Richard and George -as the dukes that they were- had been dressed in gold for the occasion, but their code looked somewhat in vain as even the ones with the lower standing shined with their best attires. That was the least of Richard’s concerns but he did marvel at how the previously muted London seemed to have been invaded by an unannounced golden army, spreading over the streets like a channel full of adorned stallions, colorful banners and the smell of roses. Their only source of guidance being the queen, who was being carried like a rare Virgin Mary at the head of the procession with her large family close behind her.

Richard did not imagine this event would cause such stir among the people, but he guessed that it was better to join in the gaiety of the evening, and then think later on how he truly felt about this new family who had overran the court. He had spent enough time in London to reflect about the Rivers, though he still had not come to a certain conclusion.

Edward had sent for Richard over the previous fall so Richard could spend Yule with him, leaving his younger brother in state of utter disappointment as he did not find the chance to talk to Anne about their engagement. The hope to be able to do so when he returned was crushed as well, since what he assumed to be only a temporary visit in London stretched into a much longer stay. Six months had passed, six months that felt like forever due to the time since he saw Anne. He wondered very often about her and how she was doing, which had soon developed into a desperate need to see her again.

He would not dwell on that at the moment, not now, he thought as a rose landed on his lap and the contours of Westminster’s Abbey came into view. As Richard and George passed, the cheers of the people became punctuated by exclamations of ‘A York!’, the constant noises serving as the only music present while they continued to be greeted by steady showers of white roses. Richard was not one to boast much, but hearing the name of his house being vocalized with such fierceness made him proud.

But it was also in that precise moment that the cacophony of the cheering crowd was accompanied by a new name, making Richard break out of his thoughts, all of his senses gathering at once when he heard exclamations of “A Neville!” breaking out in new rounds among the crowd, both names finding themselves in an unusual mingle.

Richard turned at once, it was mandatory to have their cousins as one of the highest regarded families in the coronation, even if they stood behind in the span of a few rows as was so pointedly suggested by the queen’s father, Baron Rivers. They stood their ground however, squeezing their way through the others until they came to full view in a streak of rich green, moving steadily with the fierceness of the bear that was wreathed on their banners. Warwick rode at the very front looking more like a king rather than a kingmaker, with his brothers behind and the rest of the household following.

But soon, that became the last thing on Richard’s mind, with his chest feeling as if there was living hammer inside of it.

_There she is._

Just between two vertical banners he made out Anne’s figure, riding her horse alone but confidently beside her sister Isabel, no longer having someone to help her. This was the first time he saw her since his departure. Perhaps in another time he might have been overcome with joy at seeing her after so long, but what he felt in this moment was different. He turned his head away, successfully avoiding her, stricken by the sudden certainty that she knew about their engagement, what could possibly stop Warwick or anyone from telling her in the past months?

“Keep your eyes forward Dickins.”

Richard breaks from his trance and looks at George, who only turns his head slightly, giving him a knowing look before Richard nodded and went back to his previous custom. Still, as Richard continued to move forward he realized that he saw his same alarm reflected on George’s eyes.

***

If the coronation was a paragon of grandness then the banquet was something that went beyond limits. The feast appeared as if God himself was an expected visitor.

Tapestries woven in the blue of York hung freely, minstrels played cheerful melodies, bright frescos and golden effigies were displayed on every marbled corner and the spare rays from the already fading sun spilled from the windows of stained glass, giving the room a heavenly glow.

The king and queen were sat in the middle, overlooking the people dining before them, all immersed in endless chatter while ornate plates in front of the two came and went. That didn’t seem to interest them, as their attention appeared to be completely seized by each other.

“He’s seems to be really taken with her.” Richard comments to George who sits by his side, not touching his food but drinking his wine in long gulps. He couldn’t help but think on how their mother would react if she was here, which made him want to laugh for a moment before he remembered that she wasn’t here. It would be a lie to say that Richard didn’t feel enormously disappointed about that, it had been long since he saw his mother, they corresponded without fail through letters but it wasn’t the same, he would not admit that out loud of course.

“I couldn't care less, she barely spares anyone a word unless it’s Edward or someone from her clan.” George murmured lowly referring to her family, who were sitting with them at the head of the table, the closest to them being the Rivers girls. The idea of their proximity was arranged by the queen and her mother Jaquetta Rivers, who seemed to be getting by in this familiar environment that she once shared with the she-wolf as her lady in waiting, only to now hold a white rose in her loyalty instead of a red one.

Richard looked at the pair again, who were now sharing kisses openly under the weight of their crowns. The sight made him blush and turn his head away, taking a sip from his wine that immediately made him grimace at how strong it was.

He did not know what to make of this new queen Elizabeth, she was breathtakingly beautiful, of few words- at least to anyone outside her family-, and wore the crown as if it was made for her and her only. Whenever he conversed with her Edward was always present, which as Richard took the time to analyze, gave him the signs that Elizabeth didn’t like anyone else to hold a place in Edward’s affection. Neither he nor George had any interaction with the Rivers or the queen; no conversations, no activities, no affairs, no nothing. By now the queen and her mother’s small seating arrangement was the least thing she had done in regards to Richard and George.

Richard was skeptical about why in the world would they arrange for them to be particularly sitting near the Rivers girls instead of sitting with their Neville kin who, as he came to realize, would soon be bound inseparably to their house.

A sound of laughter coming from the other table caught his attention, leading him to stare at the place where the Nevilles were sitting. But as he did so he suddenly made eye contact with Anne, who appeared to have been staring at him for some time. He tried to smile at her but she frowned and turned her head away. Richard was surprised at the way she ignored him, but then a muffled question brought his attention back to his table, where he met fair Margaret Woodville’s hopeful face.

“Excuse me?”

“I meant if you wanted to dance my lord.” she said to him with a smile. Richard blinked repeatedly, noticing that many people were standing up to go to the gleaming center of the hall to dance.

He looked at the Neville’s place again where Anne was currently trying the wine while everybody stared at her expectantly including Johnny and Warwick, only to make a funny disgusted face that made everybody laugh. Isabel was sitting quietly besides her, joining faintly in the laughter before turning her eyes towards their table, or more likely, towards George, who had no trouble in noticing it.

“I’m sorry uh- , I’d be delighted my lady.” Richard stammered, standing up clumsily with his chair making a loud scraping noise.

“Excuse me you two.” George said standing up, disappearing before Martha Woodville could ask him to dance as well, who had been giggling at everything he said during the dinner making George question her sanity.  

Richard took a hold of Margaret’s hand and led her towards the center, giving her a graceful bow to which she responded with a low curtsy before both began to move in a circle as the dance suggested.

Different people joined in the dance, with dozens of colorful skirts fluttering around as ladies swirled and were raised up by their partners. He was dreading the dance at the start, but soon he began to enjoy himself, displaying his best charming and carefree attitude to each of his partners as the dances required many switches. George and Isabel had joined in time, and even the king and queen had come down when a gentler tune had played-the queen was with child after all- while others kept dancing and Richard rested on a near bench with an exhausted Anna Fitzhugh beside him, who had been his last partner in the first round.

Some moments later Richard and Anna joined the dance again, which was broader in numbers of pairs. The girl was soon joined with another, and Richard was paired with different girl which due to their proximity to his brother, made him notice that George had stopped abruptly to lean close and say something to Isabel, making her pause and nod before taking his offered hand and disappearing between the masses of dancing circles, going to God knows where.

Richard looked at Warwick, who did not seem to notice that his daughter had ran off with George, and perhaps it would be better that he didn’t. As he approached at a spin of his current partner, a pretty girl with brown hair, he turned her to the nearest male dancer before he turned to his new one.

Green eyes met black ones and Richard froze as Anne stared back at him alarmed. Despite the noise in the room everything turned still and mute for Richard, all before Anne held her green skirts and curtsied.

“ Richard.”

He bowed, chiding himself mentally for his mistake as he was supposed to be the first one to acknowledge his partner.

“Anne.”

He held her small hand and spun her slowly, leading to the next step which required her to dance around him in sways and little jumps as the rest of the girls were doing, before giving a firm clap in signal that their partner should start. Richard’s turn to dance around her came, which took only a while before they reached the part where they could dance freely. He could not help but take in how lovely she looked that day, wearing a pretty green dress woven in gold threads and her hair loose with only her golden ribbon holding it in place at the back of her head. Richard smiled at her when he noticed the detail on her hair, to which she smiled back surprisingly, as she seemed so distant at the start, but now she appeared at ease. Richard looked more handsome than she could imagine, all gallant with a doublet of gold and navy, dark shaggy hair and lopsided smiles that he rarely showed unless he was with her. Neither Anne nor Richard came to realize that yet, but she did realize in time that if he smiled widely enough you would see dimples, which many times set her in the task to try and coax one of those smiles so she could see them. In this moment she didn’t have to try, he was happy and so was she.

Their earlier tension faded away as they both swayed, clapped, jumped and spun merrily among the crowd. Richard laughed as she spontaneously twirled him, a movement that he imitated as he twirled her around with her skirts forming a blurry circle below her, before he put his hands around her waist and raised her high up in the air when the music had finished.

Anne gasped in surprise, giggling and holding tightly to his arms with strands from her hair hanging on either side of her face before their expressions changed, both finding themselves looking at each other seriously while heaving from exhaustion. Richard brought her down carefully after a moment, closing the space between them. She felt so light, but soft and warm as well, and he found himself so immersed in it that he did not realize that they had some people’s attention, particularly that of Edward, Elizabeth and Warwick. It almost looked like a pattern, a tense pattern coming from nowhere. Neither of the youngsters noticed.

“Anne, I need to tell you something.” Richard murmured as she kept her head buried in his neck.

Anne stood back and looked up at him.

_He’s gotten tall..._

“What is it?”

Dozen emotions played on her cousin’s face, the cousin that was also her best friend, the cousin that made her laugh without limits, the cousin whom she had a girlish crush on for as long as she could remember…the cousin who she was sure that was deeply disappointed in being bound to her forever, while the prospect of it brought her pure unadulterated joy instead.

“I’m sure you know by now about…well about, our engagement.” He said quietly, waiting for her to respond but she remained silent, looking elsewhere.

“Anne?” he questioned with a frown.

“I’m so sorry Richard.”

That was not what he expected her to say.

“For what?” He asked, very confused. For what could she possibly apologize?

“For this whole thing, I didn’t know they wanted us to be married you…you must be so disappointed they chose me… but I do promise to- I promise to be a good wife.” She finished firmly, looking up at him while Richard stared at her unbelievingly.

_Why would he look so shocked? He must surely be dread the idea of marrying someone as young as me._

“Anne I don’t…”

“There you are!” Somebody interrupted them, the intruder being Johnny who was clueless of what his favorite niece was talking about with Richard, “It’s time now Anne.”

Anne’s eyes widened, like she knew about what Johnny was referring to whereas Richard didn’t.

“Thank you for the dance Richard.” She said quietly, not making eye contact with him before disappearing with her uncle, leaving Richard with a thousand words dying on his mouth.

He closed his fists by his side in frustration, going near a table and filling a spare goblet with wine, he found it too strong compared to what he had occasionally tried at Middleham, but for some reason it seemed like a good idea to drink it now. So Anne thought that he was unhappy with their engagement. To him nothing could be more wrong and yet she seemed so sure. It offended him that she thought him to be as superficial as most, wasn’t four years of friendship enough for her to know otherwise?

_You foolish, foolish girl!_

Yet, on the other hand it hurt him to know that Anne thought little of herself. If only Anne knew how special she was, how lucky anyone would be to have her.

Suddenly, the inner warmth that he always associated with Anne came forth, this time a little stronger, he had no idea why he felt that so often when she was near, and he most definitely didn’t understand why it felt so different this time. In any case, he was skeptical but also very glad for the marriage.

_I’ll make her the happiest girl on earth._

The warm feeling was still there despite Richard’s attempts to dismiss it, it felt like something that was thoroughly buried only to now carve its way out and see light for the first time, though Richard did not know what it was yet.

The sound of a spoon hitting against a goblet’s surface caught his and everyone’s attention, with everybody turning to the front of the hall where the queen was seated and Edward was standing up.

“On behalf of my beautiful new queen, all the lords and ladies present, and the idiot who ordered this terrible wine, we have an announcement to make.” Edward said aloud, gesturing towards Warwick, who as Richard now realized, was standing near the queen with a very nervous looking Anne behind him.

“Despite every lavishness that is mandatory for such an occasion, I'm afraid I haven't shown my gratitude as I should as well as my kin, so as a gift from my house my youngest daughter would like to sing a song for the queen to welcome her.” Warwick said, standing aside for Anne to come forward and curtsy to the queen, clasping her hands together to keep them from shaking.

The queen smiled at the girl as Edward sat down and Warwick stood at a reasonable distance from Anne. The whole room was overtaken by a silence that the gentle sound of a lute interrupted, emitting pleasant echoes across the room, which after a few melodious moments were accompanied by the voice of Anne.

_As hopes and delusions tangle under a swift dawn,_

_Senses come alive and the present stifles a yawn._

Everybody was in awe of the girl’s sweet voice, everybody from the queen to Anne’s family. If there was anybody who fell short in the crowd’s awe it was George and Isabel, and that was only because the pair was nowhere to be seen, absent as if they were never in there in the first place.

_Ghost of certainty takes captive of me,_

_To sail across the sky and fly over the sea._

Richard felt as alive as the song described, the warm feeling spreading like fire through his chest and to the tips of his very being as he listened.

_Precious bundle of vigor sprouts from tempest’s womb,_

_As skies descend from astral roots and dales bathe in summer’s bloom._

He squeezed his way through the crowd, standing at the front to watch her, his expression unfathomable.

_Queens of hearts emerge from gales and their wrathful tides,_

_And in this cursed and blessed heartbeat I behold the one that rules mine._

Some moments filled with verses and melodies passed, moments that were silenced to the point that he could not even hear the applauses from the crowd and the queen, who stood up to clap enthusiastically along with her husband when the song was finished. Anne bowed to the crowd with a timid smile on her face while her father looked as the very stamp of pride.

The heated feeling had overtaken Richard by now, making him accept that he was in love.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> :cries: This is the last chapter of Richard as a boy, I'm going to miss writing him in his much earlier years. The next ones will be covering his teens and Warwick's fallout with Edward, as well as Richard and Anne's story. 
> 
> Elizabeth is only a little more sympathetic in here than in the show, at this point I've realized that I really couldn't stand her in the series, especially in those particular scenes where she acts completely rude to poor Anne, totally unnecessary.
> 
> Also the ''song'' that Anne sings at the coronation is a terrible poem that I made up at the last minute after basically digging the internet trying to find a suitable song for Anne to sing, none found! Apologies for having to read that :cringes: 
> 
> Now that my semester is over I think I'll be able to update more frequently before my muse disappears like George and Isabel. Definitely hope I can finish this little piece on this summer. ;)


	22. The call

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Big time jump in here.

October, 1468

The extraordinary creature wandered over the space of a few joined trees, with exposed fangs glinting dangerously in the pale glow of the upcoming winter.

White boars were not something to be found in abundance around these regions, but now the sight before the icy compound of the forest proved otherwise. The beast was not aware that it was being pursued by a young lad, his task giving him a calculative countenance; with a ready bow in his hands and a dark cloak draping his shoulders, making him blend easily into the copse of ashen trees.

The hunter felt as if even the slightest draw of breath could ruin his self-imposed affair, make his game slip away like the arrow that was being held weakly through his fingers due to their prolonged hold. His prize was there, twitching its nose, wintery gusts swirling along its mane, sunrays bouncing from its deadly fangs. The only vivid contrast were the dark eyes, two glinting mirrors of liquid jet which, as Richard now perceived, were staring directly at his own.

His motive felt as frozen as his environs, the violence of a creature of their peril could go to such lengths that Richard thought that they could not even leave a trace of their prey. He could have released the arrow in a blink, but there was a grip in his prey’s unannounced (and unwanted) eye contact, it was such that if it wasn’t an animal Richard may have discerned genuine curiosity in the beast’s expression. The two shaky fingers holding the string loosened, with Richard forgetting the advanced image of him bringing the heavy creature back to Middleham, perhaps earning boastful compliments from the kingmaker on his catch, leading to a splendid St. Crispin’s feast full of merriness, sweetened delicacies and fresh meat.

 _It’s your lucky day beast,_ He thought as his eyes lost their cloud of wariness and his bow was lowered, with the arrow pointing to the ground and the white boar emitting huffs of condensation, giving Richard a final glance before setting into a steady trot until he disappeared through the vast whiteness of the forest.

There was little possibility of him being able to drag it all the way back to the castle. It would not be a complete loss however, since he did manage to catch a pair of hares which were currently slung over the back of his horse in an arrangement of strings and leather strips that secured them to his mount.

As he led his horse out of the forest he found himself marveling at how muted his cold surroundings were. The calmness was characteristic of the upcoming winter season, but now it seemed other worldly. Richard always possessed a quiet bearing, and he preferred for his surroundings to be as such, but a silence of this kind only brought him ponderings that he would rather not dwell over.

Some time had passed since the rumors of Warwick’s Lancastrian sympathies broke through, but they were still fresh on his mind, inspired tedious musings and roused him from sleep. It troubled him that he would wander on these new events while the core of them, being Edward and Warwick, were so casual about it.

His worry wasn’t solely focused on what would be the outcome, it had to do with his uneasiness at being under the roof of a person whose loyalty wasn’t to anyone but himself, and in some part, it also had to do with the uncertainty of what would be his and Anne’s fates.

This last thought was stirred by the sight of the ruined cottage that stood just merely beyond the outskirts of the forest. In another time he associated this structure back to the days where his age could still be counted by his fingers. But now as he passed the ruined cottage only one thing claimed his mind, and as Richard remembered this event he found himself elsewhere in a heartbeat, with the sight of Middleham draped in its distinctive grey and the muffled sounds of a storm clouding his senses.

_Anne’s laughter ringed across the woods as she chased after a dragonfly, which was winging its way across the heated air. Her cheerfulness was almost contagious, but Richard was irritated that her havoc made the possibility of a good catch impossible. Just as he was becoming worried about the way they were advancing further into the greenery of the forest, as the trees and thickets were starting to appear alien to him._

_“Anne, wait!” He grabs her arm, pulling her back, with the dragonfly flying away from them in wavering zigzags. By the slump of her shoulders he could tell she was disappointed. “The party must be worried about us.” He explained as she faced him, ‘And I’m not going to catch anything with you here’ he thought._

_“But my father knows where we are.”_

_“He said not to stray too far from the group and that is exactly what we are doing, I don’t want us to get lost Anne.” He said, irked by his wasted time trying to find good game as well as by the thirst that the hot day stirred within, it was so strong that his water container had already been emptied by both him and Anne._

_“You know these parts well enough.” She insisted._

_“We’re going back.” Richard said with a finality that made Anne pause as he started to leave._

_“I’m bothering you aren’t I?” She asked quietly, to which Richard turned around._

_“What?”_

_“You don’t want me here with you.” She said as he stared at her. In a way it was true, but not for the reasons that Richard perceived in Anne’s expression._

_“You could be quieter while I’m hunting, at this point I won’t catch anything if you keep making noises.”_

_At that she looked down crossing her arms, “You could have said so you know”_

_Richard stayed silent, because there was no way that he would admit that despite the useless attempts at hunting he enjoyed to see her happy, something that he just managed to crush in seconds._

_“Hey,” he said walking towards her, tipping her chin up to face him, “whatever you may be thinking I want you to know that you could never bother me, not in a lifetime.”_

_The downhearted frown on Anne’s face softened as soon as she heard the last part._

_“I’m sorry I scared off all the animals.”_

_“Oh please, don’t pretend you’re not happy that they’re free now.” Richard said with a roll of his eyes before moving, knowing how pitying she was when it came to hunting animals._

_“Could you at least spare the rabbits? They’re too adorable to be killed!” Anne whined as she trailed behind him._

_Richard laughed, “You’ve been asking me to spare every single animal we’ve encountered, at this rate if I keep sparing any more creatures I’ll have to retort to taking the branches back to the party!”_

_Anne flushed, keeping quiet until Richard stopped abruptly, the back of his head tilting up._

_“Richard?”_

_“We have to hurry back.” he said before hastening through the trees and copses. It was then that Anne noticed that the somewhat summery shade of the forest was dimming under intrusive grey clouds._

_Before either of them said anything, Anne felt a cold wet splash on her cheek, making turn her eyes to the sky where she made out the distant but oncoming drops of rain, like liquid blades ready to overlap every corner._

_The shift of their environs was especially acute in the sight of the bleached sky being covered by subtle continents of grey, and sooner than expected both of them found themselves engulfed by an unmerciful flock of water pinpricking their backs._

_They both froze in the middle of their haste, before Richard grabbed her hand again and ran his way to the closest road he knew that led out of the forest._

_Their escape went through a blur of trees and shrubbery and muddy puddles before the worn walls of a familiar cottage came into view. The youngsters hastened inside the decaying structure, realizing that they could still feel the rain pelting incessantly on their heads, as the roof of the cottage carried a large gaping hole in the middle. They noticed this and Richard pulled Anne with him into a safe corner filled with loose stacks of hay._

_The wood paneled room creaked every now and then like the cabin of a wavering ship, with strings of water leaking from holes in the roof and the rumbles of thunder suggesting a fierce natural vent._

_Richard sat down on the cluster of hay with Anne latched firmly onto him, the trembling of her small form making him aware of how utterly close they were. He didn’t know if Anne had noticed but he made no attempt at moving away, intent on giving her his body heat as she couldn’t stop shaking from the chill that the rain left on her now ruined dress. Her ragged breathing had diminished faintly, with her hand wiping away a previously formed bead of sweat from her forehead before an unusual look came across her face, as one that finds something peculiar. She released Richard and crawled over to where a leak of water was flowing freely just inches from where they sat._

_She stared at the leak for a moment before angling her head upwards and opening her mouth to drink from it, making her cheeks bloat and puff out from the water filling them. Richard gave a laugh and crawled over to where she was to drink from the leak as well, both of them taking turns and chuckling at each other’s expressions._

_When his thirst was quenched at last he leaned back and mirrored her kneeling position, suddenly feeling the need to laugh again, this time for their current distressing situation. Anne seemed to notice this as well, glancing at his clothes and then her own before bursting into laughter. It seemed so odd that what began as peaceful warm day of summer had turned into a raging storm that forced them into this unlikely hiding place. But after a few moments she was too enthralled in her amusement to notice that Richard had slowly stopped laughing, his gaze fixed firmly and almost seriously on her face that was still crinkled with deep lines of laughter. He didn’t know why she seemed so lovely all of the sudden, even with her disheveled appearance. This realization planted a serial need to do something, anything to let her know what he was feeling, and so it seemed that this same feeling acted on its own accord when he grabbed her hand, making Anne face him, with little giggles still escaping her._

_Whatever words she planned to say were meaningless when he framed her face gently, still marveling at her now confused expression graced slightly by an amused smile, a smile that was soon softened by the touch of his own lips, gentle as a breeze, fragile like a passing second. And even thus -he wondered in whatever reality was left on his mind- , why did he feel like the whole world had turned upside down from such a simple kiss?_

_He pulled barely an inch away, lips still hovering over hers, the reliving of their petal like softness making him claim them again with an almost greedy need, applying only small pressure, content to lose himself for just a few moments in the warmth of her mouth. But just as quick as that it was over, with Anne being the first to pull away, a hand clutching a fistful of his doublet, her eyes wide like plates. On his part he was at a loss of everything, it felt like waking up from a dream only to now have reality greet him in the most dreadful way._

_He shouldn’t have kissed her, he really shouldn’t have. By God what was he thinking! She was still so young, only recently turned twelve, a stage where she shouldn’t be meddled with things that would scare her, such as what he did just seconds ago. Just by looking at her, so young and so shocked made him feel disgusted with himself._

_The myriad of apologies that were ready to flow out of his mouth were muted once Anne abruptly pulled away and ran out of the cottage._

_His own thoughts appeared to have completely dulled his sense of reason because in that moment Richard noticed the slow clearing of the storm, with rolling mists of humidity fading and revealing the forest in its full vibrancy, and the voice of Warwick calling out Anne’s name. The party was near, no doubt looking for them, and Richard swiftly exited the cottage to reach them, never daring to even glance at Anne during their hasty return to the castle-since the sky was still suggesting later rainstorms-, and much less her unsuspecting father._

A while had passed since that happened, he tried to forget for the sake of whatever he and Anne were now, though he knew better than that of course. At the time he had been too paranoid to properly formulate an apology, it was a shame that she had to fall terribly sick for him to finally do so.

_One step inside the infirmary and Richard already wanted to go back to wherever he came from, but just as he prepared to exit the room an outburst from the nurse kept him from moving any further._

_“Your grace! We weren’t expecting anybody at this time!” she said with a smile. With seven years under Warwick’s care he was very familiar with most of the folks that worked at the castle, giving way to bold greetings like this one, though he could not help but question it slightly, since this young nurse had been a recent new addition._

_“I’m sorry, I’ll come back later-” he said moving to leave but she interrupted him once again._

_“Oh nonsense! Please stay,” she exclaimed gesturing for him to come closer, “The Lady Anne has been sleeping like a lion all afternoon, the poor thing, such a strong bearing but her health is like a sponge, she could absolve even a moonbeam.” the nurse mused as Richard came closer to Anne’s bed, both looking down at her as if staring at a baby._

_“Is it too bad?” Richard asked, fetching a handkerchief from his pocket to cover his red nose as he too had gotten sick, though not to the point of falling feverish like Anne did. The sight of Anne laying there pale and peaceful made him feel guiltier, he should have shielded her better against that storm, or perhaps if he had been faster they might have reached the group in time, though that would have done little difference._

_“The fever has subsided considerably, but for now it’s better if she rests,” the nurse replied, with Richard noticing that the nurse had been staring at him the whole time._

_“Mother of God,” she said suddenly, “look at you, if you spend any more time standing you might end up worse than my lady! Do you have a fever?” she exclaimed, having noticed Richard’s sickly appearance. Before he could protest she had already pressed her hand to his forehead, standing a little too close than he would have liked._

_“Madam I uh-“ He said, stepping away from her, his face flushed, “ I am as healthy as I can be, and I only came here to see my cousin and now that I’m sure that she’s well it’s best if I leave.” This wasn’t how he wanted to see Anne._

_“But you just got here my lord! Not to mention that I won’t allow anybody to leave this room with the complexion of a phantom, much less a lad as fine as yourself! ” She said striding towards an additional room where they kept all their draughts, “Just wait there!” she shouted before disappearing._

_Richard stayed still, questioning the girl’s behavior, and just as his gaze rested on Anne’s form once again he noticed that her face bore a smile that hadn’t been there before._

_“Anne?” He frowned. No, that definitely wasn’t there before. Had she been awake this whole time?_

_“Much less a lad as fine as yourself,” Anne suddenly mimicked the nurse in a funny voice, her eyes still closed, her mouth still smiling._

_So she was awake indeed! Richard forgot whatever was troubling him when he laughed out loud._

_“I should have known!”_

_She opened her eyes, smiling up at him, rumpled tresses of auburn hair framing her face._

_She reached out her hand, asking him silently to help her up which he did, also placing a hand on her back to steady her._

_“What’s wrong? Was there a secret confession stored for the kind nurse?” she asked teasingly, laying back against the pillow. Her voice sounded very gruff._

_Richard shook his head, she just had a way of making you feel good without much effort. “How are you feeling?” he asked, changing his tone._

_“I’ve been better, but it’s nothing to beat your head around, least I have refreshments…” she trailed off gesturing towards a silver plate filled with half eaten scones, seed cakes and a tankard full of ice._

_“That’s good, just a few more days and you’ll be out.”_

_“Oh no! I’ll die of boredom if I stay here any longer, one more day here and I’ll jump out the window no matter how sick I am. ”_

_“But how will you get rid of your manly voice?” he said hiding a grin, making her scoff and throw her pillow at him._

_“Hey it’s the truth! You could easily impersonate the devil.”_

_“Well excuse me for being sick!” she said, the glint in her eyes telling him that she wasn’t really angry._

_They both stayed silent, beaming, their playful tone suddenly gone again. He grabbed her hand after a pause, his eyes downcast. “Anne … I owe you an apology, if it wasn’t for me you wouldn’t be here and…”_

_“Oh what’s this about? Richard you can’t pretend to believe that you’re responsible for everything, I chose to follow you-“_

_“Wait, just let me say this,” Richard interrupts, “And, I’m truly sorry about what happened afterwards, what I did was inappropriate and uncalled for, and I’m just…very sorry.” He finished, not knowing exactly what else to say._

_Anne pursed her lips and looked at him intently, finally speaking, “Do you truly regret it?”_

_“I regret whatever alarm or fear I may have caused you.”_

_Her features softened when she heard his response, and she stared at him deeply before taking his hand and gently pressing the palm against her cheek, with her eyes closed and her face serene, not uttering a word._

_“My lady, you're awake!” a voice interrupted them. Both had forgotten that the nurse was also in there. They separated abruptly, hyperaware of the nurse’s quizzical look at their previous stance._

_“Pardon madam, I best be on my way.” Richard said before the nurse stopped him, handing him the draught she was looking for, “Only one time a day, drink it periodically and you’ll be good soon.”_

_Richard nodded, looking back thoughtfully at Anne before moving to leave, hearing the nurse behind him talking to her._

_“Oh you still look so pale my lady, how unlucky were you to get caught in that terrible torrent.”_

_“It is of little matter,” he hears Anne say once he reaches the door, his audition seeming to prepare for whatever she would say next. “For me it was worth it.”_

_With that he froze for just a moment before leaving the room._

The contours of the Middleham castle appeared in clear shadows as Richard rode at a full gallop across the white field, marveling at how these recalls came to him out of nowhere. Neither of them mentioned what happened in the cottage again, so Richard just decided to pretend it never happened, but such self-proposal fell flat in the course of the weeks, weeks that became months and months that drew them together in a way that he still could not fully comprehend, but it was safe to say that the friendship that they once had was not the same, it felt like an old but much beloved memory reloaded with something else, something new. Then again nothing had ever been the same since the knowledge of their betrothal; it's aim had yet to happen, much more now with the strife between Edward and Warwick.

The guards raised the drawbridge once they saw the duke ride in, their heads visible just merely above the south wall, their armory frozen by the weather but the crimson flags still flapping wildly in the air. Richard reached the stables and quickly got down, feeling sore from all the relentless riding. He released his game from their bounds, taking it carefully towards the kitchen outdoors where a bent Scary Harry was plucking the feathers of a chicken. He went inside once he saw Richard, then coming out back again to take the hares.

“Go on laddie.” He dismissed Richard once he checked that everything was fine. The passing of the years had warped Harry’s body to the point that he always seemed to be in pain, and Richard couldn’t help but feel bad about how time had treated the old man, he had nobody to turn to for help, not even a friend or family. He would have to do something about sooner or later. Back then, even when Edward had first summoned Richard to court the idea of never seeing the old man again caused a lot of sadness, for despite everything Harry could be very kind hearted when you least expected him to.

Richard had planned to go to the solar where many of the wards liked to spend free time together, but a shadow from the corner of his eye made him stop and turn to whoever was near him, which disconcerted him a little once he saw that it was Mary passing by.

“Your grace,” she said, also having noticed him, curtseying in her heavy garments of fur.

“Mary,” Richard said, bowing his head in acknowledgement, “I did not expect to find you here.”

“Nor I, it’s never a bad time to take a walk, where are you heading?”

“The west quarters.”

“Perfect, my sisters must be there, would you let me walk with you, your grace?”

Richard nodded, falling in step beside her, a little surprised at her invitation as Mary was a very shy girl. “Such a cold day, don’t you think?” he says, trying to make conversation as they reached the inner buildings.

“Yes, Essex seems like a furnace when you compare its winters to Yorkshire, but with all the time I’ve spent here it’s hard to not get accustomed.” She says, referring to her natal home.

“Do you miss it?” he asked.

“What?”

“Your home.”

“Only sometimes,” she replied, “This is my home now, and I'm quite happy here.”

He hummed in response, keeping a hand behind her back once they climbed up the stairs.

“What about you?” Do you consider this your home?” she asked him.

“Yes I do, even more than Fotheringhay.”

“What is that?”

“It’s a place, in Northamptonshire, I spent part of my childhood there.” Richard said, giving her a strange look to which she flushed immediately.

“Oh sorry, of course, I just forgot.” she said, wrinkling her forehead,

“Something wrong?”

“No, it’s just…that look you gave me,” she said, shaking her head, “A lot of people have given me similar ones, like nobody expects a bastard to know much.”

“I assure you that it was not my intent to give you that impression, I was simply surprised that you didn’t know the place,” Richard said, suddenly thinking that being of Mary’s station must not be easy, especially when he himself had witnessed other people prejudicing the girl for the mark that her parent’s actions had left on her. He thought that she must have gone through a lot more pressure than he thought if she perceived his actions as judgemental. She was fortunate that Warwick openly recognized her as his daughter, and even more so that she found a good companion in Anne, whose kindness knew no boundaries.

“I’m sorry to have presumed so.”

“Tell me more about your childhood Mary.” Richard said, to which she widened her eyes in surprise, before slowly proceeding to tell him stories about her first home in Winchester while they kept walking, as well as her other family and details of her deceased mother, whom she confessed that she could hardly remember in the present. They kept conversing until they finally reached the solar.

“Here we are,” he said entering the crowded room, noticing that Mary was not following him. He turned around and saw that she had a troubled look in her face, as if the room crowded with wards was too overwhelming for her.

“Mary?”

“I-I’m sorry, I just remembered something, I have to go.” She stammered before moving to leave.

“Wait,” Richard said, “they are just people from the household Mary, they won’t say anything mean to you.” He tried to assure her, to which she shook her head.

“No, I’m sorry your grace, perhaps another day.” She said, turning around before stopping for a moment. “By the way…”she said turning to him, “my name is not Mary, my name is Margaret.”

“Margaret?” Richard said quizzically. She nodded.

“Mary was my mother’s name, it’s the only thing I remembered about her, at the beginning I tried to carry her name so I could not forget it as well, but now I think I’ll get by better with the real one.”

Richard nodded at her and she gave him a small smile before disappearing. He entered the room which was currently filled mostly by his closest friends. Anne was sitting in the middle table, very concentrated on a game of chess with Francis, who had taught her how to play the game over the summer when she fell sick. There was Richard Ratcliffe, with his eyes focused on a leather bound book that was Francis’s Latin text, and Anna Fitzhugh was sitting in another corner, looking very alarmed as Robert appeared to be showing her one of the creatures that he never seemed to get tired of picking up. Isabel was talking animatedly with a girl he did not know, and there were other wards scattered around the room all engaged in chatter or card games.

He stepped towards the table where Anne and Francis were playing, which she noticed first, giving Richard a warm smile before focusing back on the game.

“Having fun losing Francis?”

“Who invited you here?” Francis retorted. 

“Can’t a friend be honest?” Richard said, faking indignation. 

“Can’t a friend be quiet?”

“Stop it you two.” Anne said, her eyes fixed on the pristine board.

“One more comment and I’m beating you next Gloucester.”

“You’re on.” Richard said sitting in a spare chair, but he barely made contact with the chair before a man burst into the room, a tall man with auburn hair, and Richard immediately stood up as Johnny came to him, his expression enigmatic.

“Richard, you’re requested at my brother’s study.” He said swiftly before moving towards the door and turning around, “Edward has summoned you to court.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I delayed this more than I thought, several factors contributed to that, including my laziness, but the end will come soon. I really needed to update, especially once I read the first few chapters of The Kingmaker's Daughter, where Richard is a total douchebag to Anne during their childhood, I might find it amusing if it was in the verse of something like The Virgin Widow but on TKD I just felt frustrated. In real history I tend to see Richard and Anne as just friends in their childhood but on TKD I felt annoyed because I just perceived it as if PG was trying to present Anne as a plain girl who couldn't possibly compare to any of the Woodvilles. I'll have to continue TKD later, since I'm not in the mood for PG's biases and I'm still recovering from finishing The Sunne, which I had to freeze because of college and continued over this summer and in simple words, my heart just shattered over that book despite the few qualms I had about it. 
> 
> Anyways the mini rant is over. I'll admit that I felt weird writing about the kiss, simply because I think Anne is too young (she was twelve and Richard fifteen) though to be honest I saw worse things in Middle School, and what Richard and Anne shared was simple and completely innocent though if I caught any of my younger relatives like that they'll get the scream of the century.
> 
> I'm not particularly pleased with this chapter but I hoped you enjoyed it and I apologize for mistakes. Stay tuned!


	23. Wind of change

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter kind of drags on but here it is.

Gales swept by in a game of back and forth as the party forced itself through the tempest, with colors of crimsons and blues casting the group in a blurry fusion.

Richard held a small white rose in his hand, his tight grip crushing the soft bundle of petals with the yellow stigma squeezing out as if gasping for air. Their march through the countryside led them to greet a good amount people who were waiting to see the duke of Gloucester depart from Middleham, meaning that his journey was filled with blue cloths of poorly sewn boars and humble gifts.

However, this particular rose that he managed to hold onto was given to him by a little girl, whose tiny frame was no match for her boldness as she had squeezed through the vast crowd and faced the duke to give him her gift; amused, he had responded by immediately trading the rose for his hat, which turned into a cage for her little head and made people laugh at her appearance.

He tried to commit to memory even the simplest detail about the day; every warm smile, every thoughtful gift, every passing gale and every blade of grass; weaving them into a personal composition of memories of what this place truly meant to him, but dwelling on such things made his departure all the more difficult. He could hardly hide his displeasure.

  _“They’re waiting for ya laddie,_ ” Scary Harry had said as he handed him a box filled with beverages for the journey, the old man’s personal form of a farewell.  

The past days had been tediously loaded with many farewells. But while he was dreading his imminent departure what made it a heavier burden was the way he and Anne said goodbye. She understood his duty, but ever since it was known that he was to depart she gained a cold demeanor, a stillness that he couldn’t breach. Questioning her behavior was probably a mistake, because it turned whatever form of goodbye they had stored into a quarrel, as Anne was under the conviction that she would never see Richard again. This had prompted Richard to assure her that such a thing was not possible although he didn’t feel daring enough to remind her that they would be married despite the extended delay. Somehow, it was in this way that their quarrel shifted into an argument about his brother Edward and her father.

There were not many things that could put Richard’s patience to the test but insulting his brother was one of those things, and so their goodbye was only said through a whipsaw of accusations and ended with Anne walking out in tears. The subject of whatever was happening between his brother and Warwick was a sensitive one, and whenever it was brought up they became strangers. It would be an understatement to say that Richard was frustrated about how they parted, after so many years of friendship this was the least moment he had expected for them to stoop at such a level. He had already said his goodbyes to his friends the night before as well.

_“Write to us at least.”_

Francis’s goodbye brought him back to the moment they met. There was only a stable, the smell of dung and a dirty boy staring up at him in gratitude. It had been a misfortune that a group of bored wards were feeling creative in finding ways to bully the new boy. That was until Richard appeared and falsely announced that their master was arriving _._

In that time everybody had rejoiced in the promise of safety brought by Edward’s victory at Towton, but Richard could take little joy in anything except in being able to return from exile. But that was it, all the bustle and good cheer meant nothing to him, his young conscience still bore a permanent rift caused by the deaths of his father and Edmund, and the fact that he was met with so much relief by everybody around him never failed to deepen it. The only witness to that was none other than Warwick, who offered to escort Richard himself back to London, stopping in Middleham not only to gather his household for Edward’s coronation, but also because he knew that Richard liked the place very much.

Witnessing this skinny, sobbing boy in the stable caught Richard’s attention, it felt like the first time that he ever saw someone mirror his grief.

 “ _Who are you?”_

_“I’m nobody.”_

In the short amount of days that he spent in Middleham Richard sought him out, and he found it amusing that the demure boy would bring up a different name every time when he asked for it. And it was even more amusing that the boy had no knowledge that Richard was the king’s brother and thought him to be another unfortunate child thrust into the enemy house. Richard learned that the boy’s father had died at Towton fighting for Lancaster and by mere glance it was clear that the wards knew of his background. Rob joined them in time as well despite being older than them, but then again his distinction knew no boundaries. The realization of who Richard really was came exactly when he had to leave for Edward’s coronation.

_“You’re the king’s brother…” the boy whispered._

_“Big deal isn’t it?” Richard said flatly._

_“This is unbelievable,”_

_“I may not look the part now but I certainly am,”_

_“No, no, it’s just…all those things I said about the Yorks…”_

_“It is of no matter,” Richard muttered, “but you can’t go around talking like that, my brother couldn’t have gotten you a better guardian than Warwick.”_

_The sound of a trumpet coming from the courtyard caught their attention._

_“So you’ll return soon?” the boy asked._

_“Yes I will, you, me and Rob can spend more time together when I return.”_

_Another sound._

_“I have to leave now,” Richard said._

_“Have a safe journey your Grace.”_

_“Call me Richard or perhaps Dickon, we’re friends now.”_

_The boy nodded, happy and amazed at being friends with the King’s brother of all people. Richard stayed quiet for a moment, looking at him thoughtfully._

_“Nobody, Chamberpot, Scullion, and Ronald.”_

_“What?” the boy said confused._

_“Those are the ‘names’ you’ve given me so far I think, calling you ‘Chamberpot’ would be fun but why don’t you tell me your real name now?”_

_'Nobody, Chamberpot, Scullion, and Ronald' widened his eyes in understanding, “Oh…it’s Francis, my name is Francis.”_

_Richard smiled, knowing that his new friend wasn’t lying._

These recalls came and went as Richard visualized the point on which the party was to stop. Warwick rode beside him with his head pointed forward as that of an archer, making faint comments about the weather or how the harvest of this year left plenty of provisions, bringing images of that same summer when he had tried to cheer up Richard after his return from exile, where he had shown him around every place in Middleham. He had been too young to truly appreciate Warwick’s efforts, and now that he thought about it he realized that he would miss him. Johnny and Warwick had served as Richard’s mentors and cared for him throughout all these years. Not everybody was as lucky as to have two exceptional father figures. Now he would be leaving them behind.  

“We’re here.” Warwick’s voice broke through his reverie.

Richard stared at him dumbfounded and the man gestured to him that he should take his time. The party was now mostly dismounted, resting and feeding their horses. Richard stepped away from the group for a time, taking in all of his surroundings. The field had a slant in which he was to part with his men, but he concentrated on the stormy view.

It was truly delightful. Bare, slanted trees with pointy branches sprouted in abundance, shrubs fluttered every now and then as if they were laughing, remnants of posies left a pretty blush among the snowy fields, and the rivers Ure and Cover flanked the group silently. In the distance valleys and hills mingled upon others creating a rocky fortress. The ground exhaled puffs of condensation and the sky was clear of any clouds. Now he was to change all of this for the limited and crowded London.  

There was a commotion in the background. Warwick had made sure that he would be well secured in his journey to London, and offered to escort him to this point due to the strong weather.

Richard took a deep breath and returned to the group, tightening his cloak against the cold. The group parted as he reached the rear of the group to take his horse. But as he reached the stallion he suddenly froze at the sight before him. The commotion was not from additional men as he thought.

There, just a mere distance from him Warwick was bent over a heaving girl, clearly reprimanding her for arriving here so abruptly and especially so exposed to the weather, since the girl had nothing to warm her but a shroud. An equally disheveled looking Johnny was intervening but Richard couldn’t hear what they were saying. What were they both doing in this place? From the picture he was witnessing it appeared that Anne persuaded her uncle to bring her here.

Warwick now seemed to have stopped talking, turning to glare at Johnny and then fixing Richard with his gaze before shaking his head and stepping away. Anne had noticed him as well.

Richard walked towards her hesitatingly, his expression very questioning until he finally stood in front of her, remaining silent, the strong gales sweeping around them.

“I…,” Anne trails off after a pause, taking a deep breath, “I needed to say goodbye,”

 She was looking down and her breath came out in gasps. He reached and bunched her shroud in his hands, tightening it around her shoulders, “So you came.”

Anne nodded, still heaving from the exertion. She and Johnny must have practically raced to this place. Richard suddenly reflected on how his cousin spent her energy in coming here just to see him. “I couldn’t let you go like that,” she said looking up at him. Their wintry surroundings made her eyes look incredibly green, as they always did. “If we truly have a future together I hope you can stand through my pigheadedness.”

Richard gave a small laugh, feeling his heart warming, “Only if you can stand through mine,” he said, “Stop letting it weight you down.”  

Anne nods, it was best if she didn’t voice her true fears. Her father’s behavior outside of the public eye was beginning to become a lingering shadow on her thoughts, particularly those regarding her future. But now she couldn’t let that stand between her and Richard, she could only do this much to give her best friend of all these years a proper goodbye.

 “I will miss you.”

“As will I,” he murmured, “But it won’t be for long.”

He was certain she knew what he meant by the last thing he said, even though he had almost never brought it up.

“I know,” she said with a faint blush, stepping away for a moment, “I don’t have much to give you as a token,” she said, fumbling with the neck of her dress and pulling out a locket.  She took it off and stretched it into Richard’s hand, “But I think this will do.”

Richard looked at it, it was a birthday gift from her father, inside there was a yellow rose petal and a small portrait of Anne, the faded surface barely able to fully display her childish smile.

“I will keep it safe,” Richard said as he put it on, pausing to look at his cousin for a moment.

 _Dear God_ …

He couldn’t stand to see that look on her face, her features were so incredibly downhearted, “Come here,” he said tugging on her wrap, not wasting time to enfold her in his arms. She returned his embrace as tightly as she could, and their cold environs no longer felt cold, as if their warm proximity was enough to pull them through a myriad of winter storms. Their embrace was enough for either of them to feel as if a tiny little sun had emerged between them.

He barely pulled away when he started unfastening his cloak and flung it around her frame. This would be his token. He tightened it around her, smiling at her appearance. Her body looked like it had shrunk beneath the heavy wool and furs.

There was a shout and they both turned their heads to Warwick, who was standing at a good distance with Johnny, gesturing to Richard that it was time.

Richard looked back at Anne, and after a while he raised his hand to his mouth, laid a kiss on his fingertips and then touched her lips.

“Until then?”

Her eyes drooped and turned glassy, and Richard was suddenly amazed at how easy it was to love her.

“Until then.”

***

    Richard remained in a state between wakefulness and sleep, with his hand was half sunk in the water as his boat sailed along the river Thames. His escort managed to reach Lincoln within a short amount of days that barely reached a fortnight. The speed was half encouraged by Richard himself but the biting winds forced them to stop at various places, where the people’s hospitality served as their best comfort.

He shielded his eyes against the sun, moving his body further into the shade provided by a rich canopy hanging above him, a luxury that gave away his status, not necessarily because of his boat’s opulence but also because of the bright blue and murray standards flapping gently over his tired body and the men’s synchronized forms. The man leading the rowers kept throwing glances in his direction, a point of his distaste at the duke’s extravagant display of laziness, the man couldn’t stand royalty and saw the young duke as nothing more than a spoiled brat. Richard payed him no heed, his eyes opening and closing in an attempt to stay awake, he tilted his head forward, seeing passing clouds and flocks of birds sweeping by and grazing the roofs of the tall abbeys.  He leaned back into the shade, only subconsciously aware of the boat’s stopping movements. There was a rustle, a bump and the sounds of the paddles in the water stopped. Richard then shot up his head rather abruptly, becoming aware of the rows of men standing up with the paddles raised high.

“We are here your Grace,” The man who had been glancing at Richard said. Richard didn’t hear him, his vision slowly clearing as he hastily crawled along the boat until he reached the tall shape standing over him in the steps of the stairs, with his hand outstretched. He grabbed it immediately, being pulled up into a crushing hug that he didn’t hesitate to return.

 “Welcome home lad.” Edward said.

*** 

The hourglass barely marked the arrival of midnight as Richard wrote on a parchment. There was usually a scribe for him to redact his letters but now the need for sleep was lacking and Richard took this as his distraction. He had been corresponding with other nobles over the past few weeks, even the absence of his own household didn’t free him from being busy most of the time.

Richard was well received in the court and found ease in encountering familiar faces, especially with George and John Howard, a close friend of Edward that he had seen frequently whenever he came to visit for Yule in the past. In the previous weeks Richard had spent a lot more time with the older man and found him to be of better company than he expected. He couldn’t say the same about the Woodvilles, he suspected that even if they attempted to start any kind of kinship with him it wouldn’t amount to anything, there was something about the way they carried themselves with such an air of dominance that he couldn’t help but resent their presence in the court. Having to stand them and Edward’s aloof queen was just a small purgatory in an environment that still felt alien to him. His brother Edward had noticed that quickly and did whatever he could to make him feel better with not much success.

His days were now reloaded with errands and matters of state, and distractions had become more abundant than ever, they kept him from thinking of what he had left behind too much. Those notions were saved for a slumber that rarely came. But when it did arrive it felt tremendously tedious but necessary, those were the moments when his friends, the people he considered his second family and the places that served as his sanctuary gathered together as a remote image, and it was all fueled by the one person he truly wished that was with him right now. Something was changing. The atmosphere of the court felt charged with so much superficiality and what was worse is that he took part in it sometimes, now there was no better source of comfort than thinking about her, and how she was the proof that genuine kindness and virtue existed, something he wasn’t sure he would ever achieve. He needed to cling onto that, needed to learn, to dream of a shared future with her. Their feelings could be sorted out later but he had gotten so used to the idea of their arranged union that he really didn’t see anybody else in that place, and he thought that he never would.         

Richard didn’t realize that he had stopped writing as he dwelt on such musings, and proceeded to lean back in his chair, the cold sensation of the locket in his chest feeling prominent. He reached and opened the rusty jewel, his eyes lingering on the portrait of his cousin, tracing her lovely and almost child-like features. Not even the best painter could do her justice. He barely smiled before a sound of laughter caught his attention.

His bare feet made the slightest murmur against the carpeted floor when he reached the hallway to check. The sound was clearer, it came from the spare room where Edward spent time going about his business since it provided more privacy than his main office, he knew his brother, and those laughs were undoubtedly his. They were accompanied by another person, and Richard’s assumption was correct when he entered the room and saw his brother Edward with his friend William Hastings sitting on the table, with bottles, cups, coins, and parchments sprawled carelessly along the wooden surface.

‘Ah Dickon! Come and join us,” Edward said with a faint slur in his voice, the parchments were many and William appeared to be helping him in something as he scribbled.   

 “I was just going to sleep-“

 “Nonsense, you’re as awake as I am drunk, come sit with us,” Edward gestured to a chair near him, and Richard made his way reluctantly to sit. He never felt comfortable with William, he was just as eccentric as his brother and together they could be very condescending, but in this moment William appeared to be neutral, nodding to Richard in greeting.

“How are you Richard?” William asked.

“Quite well,” Richard replied simply, making Edward glance at him shortly. He could read his brother easily.

The documents, as he now noticed, were accounts of Edward’s household. As Chamberlain of the royal household William’s focus on the documents was fitting, though Edward was very dazed and had proceeded to talk long about how nobody was ever pleased with his endeavors as William read aloud the details of the entry.

“You think the cooks would be pleased if I got them a ham-bone instead?”

“If you add some pudding perhaps,” William said, “But in all seriousness Edward, your foreign investment is what’s important not how the cooks want additional fancy supplies for their kennels.”

“Well Dickon, it seems this Yule will be a tasteless one,” Edward said looking elsewhere as Richard read over the expenses as well.

“Forty shillings for a yard of damask?” Richard questioned with a raised eyebrow.

“A king has to please his queen doesn’t he brother?” Edward said, still not looking at Richard. 

“Come on now Edward, your brother hardly knows anything about pleasing.” William said causing Edward to laugh and Richard to turn very red. He knew William would never let his chance of teasing him go.  

  “Leave him alone Will, his time will come round soon,”

  “He is right about that ridiculous expense though Edward, I thought better of your queen,” William replied.

 “Ah but my Elizabeth has nothing to do with this, it’s nothing but my husbandly endeavor to please her this Yule.” Edward said going through more papers.

“With her particular selectiveness I’d be nervous if I were you,” William muttered as he filled two cups with wine and offered one to Richard, which he accepted.  

Edward only shrugged as he continued reading a document, “If she doesn’t like the dress then I’ll wear it myself.” He continued reading, “Warwick would have a fit if he saw this, wouldn’t he Richard?”

Richard paused, if Edward made abrupt questions like these he always had a particular reason behind them, and he had also noticed how Edward avoided his gaze during the conversation.

“I don’t see how this is any of his concern Edward,”

“Good Lord, he speaks…” William said but Richard ignored his jest.

“You truly seem to hold our cousin very high in your esteem to believe him so tame in regards to my policy.”

“Don’t you?” Richard questioned feeling his neck flush. In truth he didn’t know what to make out of Warwick in the present but he felt a desperate need to believe that things were concluded between the two.

Edward smiled, “William now that we’ve settled this matter I think you’d best retire.”

“But-” William started, they really weren’t finished but he immediately stopped when Edward shot him a glare.  

“Very well my lord,” William said, giving him a strange look before saying his goodnights to both brothers and retiring from the room. Richard felt both relieved and worried when William left. His brother obviously wanted to tell him something important.

They heard the bolt from the door and the room was overtaken by a dead silence. Edward smiled at Richard again before speaking, but there was no trace of his previous jesting mood.

“How are you feeling Richard? Truly?”

 Richard didn’t answer immediately, not expecting his brother to ask that at all.

“I’m just fine Edward.”

“I hope you speak truthfully, I don’t want to think your duty to me comes as a burden,”

“Why are you saying that? I just moved here, the environment is just a little overwhelming that’s all, you know that.”   

 “You’re as distant as I ever imagined, you have to know that changes will be very abundant.”

“There is no reason for you doubt me Edward if that’s what you’re getting at,” Richard said in disbelief. “Is it truly wrong for me to miss them?”

“Of course not Dickon,” Edward said, “But you have to try and play your part and blend in, you're place now is here. ”

“Well your subjects are not exactly the most receptive people around, much less the queen’s family,”

Edward snorted, “I’ll tell you what, why don’t you accompany Anthony and Thomas on their hunt tomorrow?” he said, quickly laughing again when he saw Richard’s expression.

“Come on Richard, this is what I’m talking about, it’s not only about giving them a chance it’s about giving yourself a chance as well,” he said.

“They don’t like me Edward, and Anthony is older than me-”

“Don’t give me that, you’ve been spending a good amount of time with Lord Howard and the man could basically be our father,”

Richard remained quiet, he didn’t want to nag Edward any further and if he had to stand the Rivers then he would, though he hoped that even William could be there and make that affair a bit more bearable, since despite their differences they at least shared their dislike for the queen’s family.

“Fine I’ll go, for your sake,” Richard replied, still not sure what Edward was playing at.

“I recognize that Lord Howard has quickly served as a good guide for you here, but I guess there’s really no way to work around how fastidious you can be,”

“I assure you that I have no idea what you mean,”

“You do know, it’s time to get out of that shabby room of yours and see the best of this, you’re a man now!” Edward said hitting him in the shoulder.  

“George understands these things better…”

“Georgie and I might need to make an intervention to that restraint you put on yourself, the lad was rather enthusiastic about everything when he arrived here for the first time, he even joined William in his evenings by the stew,”

“I thought that was more of your thing,” Richard said blankly and Edward gave a laugh.

“Why bother to go to a stew in town when I could have any lady I want here in court?”

Richard only shrugged.

“You’ll have to join soon, your knowledge in matters of state has to match the one you’ll have of a woman’s body.”

“Edward stop,” Richard said with his face turning red again.

“What? It’s the truth, you complain that my courtiers are not very receptive but you can’t pretend that the women have not been receptive of you.” Edward said smirking at his very unamused looking brother. It was true, but Richard didn’t know exactly how to respond to the particular attentions he was getting.

“There are many willing girls around here," Edward said, "I’m going to have to arrange something special for my poor inexperienced brother.”

“Whatever you say,” Richard murmured, pausing, “You know you’re pretty talented when it comes to skirting around bigger issues.”

“What do you mean?”

“You can’t expect me to believe that you dismissed Lord Hastings just because you wanted to give me some brotherly advice."

Edward chuckled, “I forgot how insightful you can be,” he paused, “It’s annoying.”

"It runs in the family I think,” Richard said, “Get on to it Edward.”

“You put it so flatly that I forgot,”

Richard smiled faintly, looking elsewhere before his expression changed, “I assume you want to know about Warwick,”

“You _assume_ very well,” Edward said with emphasis, seeing that Richard didn’t notice his undertone, “I know you’re trying to see the best in this situation, I can hardly blame you, but you best be prepared for anything that may happen, Warwick is not happy and he may go to the length of even putting his family in danger to achieve his own end, whatever that might be…”

 Richard instinctively reached for his locket , though Edward couldn’t see it since it was underneath his shirt.  

“What are you talking about?”

“When you’re in a position as mine you might as well think the worst of everything, it helps keeps you alive as well,” Edward replied, “And I know you hold Warwick very high in your regard-”

 “I told you that you have no reason to doubt my loyalty to you, I’m adapting to the ways of the court but it is not only my obligation but my desire as well to remain here,”

“I sure hope that is true brother, in our kind of world there is nothing worse than those of your own blood coming against you, but there’s also nothing more predictable than that.” Edward said, taking a silent pause, shaking his head, “I trust you lad, I would never expect anything less of you.”

“Warwick would never take any radical action against you Edward,”

“Perhaps not against me personally, but to certain others he would…”

Richard shook his head, trying to process all that his brother was saying. His attempt to cling onto the hope of things being concluded between his brother and cousin was as remote as it could ever be now. As long as the Rivers would keep being in Edward’s favor nothing would ever get better, but that still didn’t stop him from being confused.

“I don’t understand Edward, haven’t you done enough for him?”

 “When you are king you must strive to please everybody, but you must juggle your favors and be wary of who you give them to…”

“Why would Warwick want anything more than you have already given? Me and George are betrothed to his daughters!”  

It was there that Edward’s expression fell, “Richard…”

“Ned?” Richard felt suddenly as if his pulse had stopped.

“You think that I wanted to question you about Warwick, and it is true to an extent but I haven’t really told you what I meant to at the beginning,”

“What?”

“That’s what I was getting at Dickon,” Edward said in a strained voice, looking away, “You will not be married to our cousin Anne. Not now, not ever.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Poor you Richard.
> 
> And well! Edward has finally appeared fully! I took a liberty with his character in regards to his suspicion of Warwick, because in real life I tend to see Edward as a man who lacked foresight. The next chapters will be kind of angsty in relation to the upcoming strife between Warwick and Edward and Richard's development as a man in the new environment he's in now. 
> 
> I'm sorry for any mistakes. Enough babbling, I hope I'm able to update soon because :eerie music: finals are coming. Stay tuned!


	24. Turn

There was a special kind of stillness in the little woodland near the Thames, as if all the bustle of the city turned into a distant echo. In a better time this would have brought comfort to Richard, but this wasn’t a better time and all he wanted to do was return to his quarters and shut himself with nobody to bother him, especially somebody like his vexatious companion Thomas.   

“How much longer until we get there?” Thomas Grey complained for what felt to be the umpteenth time. Their hunt was over and now the party was heading back to the only lodge in the forest. 

“We’ve been walking for an hour already, isn’t there a better way to get there?” Thomas continued.

“Shutting your mouth would be a start,” Anthony said, not making any secret of his annoyance at his nephew. From the corner of his eye Richard caught George, who was unusually quiet. Richard had not said a word during the entire hunt either. Now he was questioning why he ever agreed to come on this small affair, he never felt so out of place.  

Faint comments passed between the men of the party until the lodge finally came into view between sturdy thickets. Richard untied the straps off the game he and Anthony caught earlier from his back. Their awaiting servants had carefully arranged spare refreshments for the men, which they didn’t waste time to plunge into.

He stepped away from the rabble, intent on clearing his head since it had been so constantly disrupted during the journey. The soles of his boots squeaked as he knelt by a pond that flanked the humble lodge. The boy, the _man_ staring back at him from the water’s surface looked like a stranger, his cheeks had lost all their previous baby fat only to now bear a sharpness that wasn’t there before , his eyes looked sunken and his skin was as pale as ever. There wasn’t a single person that didn’t question how he was so plain and dark in comparison to his much fairer brothers and sisters, and now he saw why. Whether or not he was blessed by his father’s fair traits mattered little to him, he was a Plantagenet and that was permanent. 

He dipped his hands into the water and washed the dry blood from them, as he had been maneuvering around dead animals previously. He rolled up his sleeves and continued scrubbing with his nails to get rid of the smudges until deciding to take off his bound coat to make it easier, but as he did so a clinking sound caught his attention, and he realized that his locket had gotten tangled with the clothes.

It was lying still between grey furs and velvets, catching the sunbeams. How was it possible that he forgot he still had this? He reached for it slowly, opening it and fixing his eyes on his cousin’s portrait. There were hints of ice around Anne’s picture, blurring her smile.

He couldn't help but think on how right she was when she doubted that their arrangements would ever come to be. After years of becoming so accustomed to the idea of a life with her, words could not convey how difficult it was to even try and let go of it. Ever since Edward let him know about the news a strange anger took place within him, like a coiled snake waiting to lash out. 

He passed his thumb along the frozen surface, feeling strangely tempted to throw the thing away into the river. But before he could dwell more on it the locket was snatched away from his hands.

“What is this thing?” None other than Thomas had his locket hanging from his hand, and the calm that Richard had felt earlier was gone.   

“Give it back,” He hissed and Thomas let out a laugh.

“They weren’t kidding when they said you were a handful,” he said, moving the locket for better view, “Is this who I think it is?” he eyed the picture.

“Thomas…”

 “It is who I think it is! News truly spread fast,” he said with a laugh, “if that’s her face then Edward did you a favor by calling off the marriage-”

 Thomas saw black and colorful spots before falling on his knees, his hand on the eye where Richard had just struck him. The latter snatched the locket away and walked back to the lodge hurriedly, where George stood watching him. 

“What?” Richard snapped as he strode past him.

“What happened over there?” George asked, keeping up with Richard.

“Why does it matter?”

“It doesn’t really, I’m just curious,”

 “Then keep being curious,” Richard murmured, reaching his horse and arranging the straps that needed tightening. George kept quiet.

“What are you doing?” he suddenly asked as his brother moved around the animal.

“I’m leaving, I can’t stay here any longer,” Richard replied as he mounted his horse.

“Are you mad? It’s too late,”

“Nothing that I can’t manage,” Richard said as he put on his gloves, “I don’t want to hear that idiot when he comes back,”

George paused before looking at the direction of the lodge, “Hold on, I’m coming with you,”

Richard only gave him a look.

“What? I’m not letting you wander the woods alone, you’ll take longer than you think,” George said as he walked back to the lodge. Richard was only left waiting for his brother to come back.

 ***

Windsor castle offered a lighter atmosphere than Westminster, though now it was slightly different with all the opulence that Twelfth Night demanded.   

Richard watched as the festivities went on from his place on the second story. Cloths of red and white hung over every marbled corner as people moved on and about across the great hall. Among the crowd he caught several familiar faces but none more than his brother George, who appeared to be blending in the festivities pretty easily. Richard frowned at that, just days ago George shared his same frustration over the betrothals and now appeared as if he had forgotten everything. Despite the great cheer from everybody Richard felt something was off.

“Why aren’t you down there boy?”

Richard turned to see Lord Howard standing beside him.

“I’m not in the mood for this sort of thing,”

“Why this is a time celebrating, not sulking about,”

“Celebrate what? Nothing is ever settled, not within our family bounds or those of Margaret of Anjou, it’s the wrong time to celebrate anything,”

“Or the right one to forget,” 

Richard kept quiet and Lord Howard looked at him thoughtfully.

“I wish I could,” he finally said.

“Whatever decisions your brother makes you must know that they’re from your own good as well as everybody’s”

“I know that,” Richard murmured, noticing Thomas Grey standing by the corner and sporting a black eye. After the incident of that day Richard was surprised to see that Thomas didn’t say anything about what happened and passed his wound as a mere hunting accident.      

 “It doesn’t mean I’m happy.”

“Things will look up soon enough boy, I believe that,”

Richard paused before turning to the older man, “But don’t you feel something strange is happening? My brother George was as distant as he could ever be and now he appears fine, and I also feel as though Edward is keeping things from me too,”

“I find it fitting, Lord Warwick is actually in here and not many know about it including you,”

“What?” Richard stopped, his eyes widening, “Is he truly here?”

 Lord Howard nodded, “He is, however I’m afraid the motives for his visit go beyond than those of celebrating,”

“Why would Edward keep that from me?”

“Warwick is not staying for long, it’s something that doesn’t concern anyone else but both of them.”

 Richard turned away, pausing, “Are his daughters with him?”

“I’m afraid not Richard,” Lord Howard replied almost apologetically.

“I don’t even know why I asked,” he replied blankly before he heard Warwick’s name being announced in the story below, the name gripping every courtier present to silence as the man strode in.   

 Richard unconsciously moved to the stairs, unsure of what he wanted to do. He watched as Warwick walked quietly along the hall without paying attention to anything but the exit. It was there that he only noticed the smallest glance that passed between George and Warwick.

His eyes were still fixed on Warwick’s retreating form before he bumped into someone.

“Hey watch it!” a female voice cried out and Richard snapped back into reality, noticing that he had almost knocked the girl into the floor if she hadn’t balanced herself on the nearest wall.

“Sorry,” Richard said, looking back at the exit where Warwick had disappeared, which frustrated the girl further.

“Are you blind or something? I almost rolled down these stairs because of you,”

“I said I was sorry didn’t I?” Richard said, his attention no longer fixed on the entrance of the hall.

“With all the genuineness of a stone, you clumsy git,” she fumed.

 Richard glared at her, who did she think she was to speak to him so disrespectfully.

“How dare you speak to me like that?”

“Are you always this dreary?”

“Are you always this annoying?” he snapped back at her.   

“Richard,” Lord Howard’s voice came from behind him and he turned around quickly, “I see you met Katherine,”

 Both of them froze.

“Lord Howard,” the girl said quickly.

“Katherine Haute here is a cousin to the queen, she’s been serving her as lady in waiting,” Lord Howard said coming down the steps, “Katherine, meet Richard, the duke of Gloucester and brother to the king.”

At that Katherine widened her eyes, “Your grace,” she curtsied to Richard hesitatingly. In that moment Richard remembered seeing this girl elsewhere, she had danced with him at Elizabeth’s coronation.

“Since you seem to have found another companion to talk to, I’ll leave you to it,” Lord Howard said and left quickly before Richard could say anything else.

There was a very awkward silence between the two.

“I guess this is my turn to apologize,” Katherine broke the silence.

“It doesn’t suit you,” Richard said, “So you’re the queen’s cousin?”

“Distant cousin,”

“I never would have guessed,”

“Neither would I have guessed such a plain and rude lord would be the king’s brother.”

“I’m glad to have flattered you,” Richard said and she pursed her lips before her name was called from downstairs.

“You’re quite a fellow Richard, but I must leave now.” she said.

“Lovely to meet you,” He replied before she turned around to go down the stairs, though not before giving him another glance over her shoulder.

For the first time Richard smiled in amusement to himself.

***

He couldn’t discern one image from another, there were his brothers, a fading sun, a field of lilies and what he thought to be Anne’s face before a voice interrupted.

“Your grace! Wake up!” One his servants was shaking his sleeping form.   

Richard sat up straight with wide eyes, the images from his dream blurring away. He blinked his eyes repeatedly before glaring at the servant.

“What is it?” He said. This better be important.

“His grace King Edward requires a meeting, you must get up quick,”

Richard fell back onto the bed, squeezing his eyes before getting out of bed.

“Why this abruptness? Will my brother George be there,” he asked.

At that the servant’s expression fell. “Oh your grace, he’s precisely why the king requires you,”

“Why? I don’t understand,” Richard said, too surprised to even wonder how the servant knew this.  

 “His grace the duke of Clarence has married Lady Isabel Neville without permission, it’s all over the court now,” the servant said hurriedly, not bothering to glance at Richard before leaving the room to do whatever errands were necessary to get Richard dressed.

 Richard only stood there, wide-eyed and stunned. He then took a deep breath, sending a quick prayer for his brother and then prepared himself for whatever awaited afterwards.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> George is in trouble ^^" I decided for Richard's rumored mistress to make a cameo here.  
> It took a while for me to get back on this fic, college's been quite hard these past few months but I do hope I can update the next chapter soon. The ending is approaching.


	25. Growth

 

       

Edward was at Nottingham on what Richard thought to be a badly timed progress when more news of insurgencies in the north arrived. The catalyst came forth in the name of Robin Redesdale though Richard was aware that this man was merely a face for the uprising while the true driving force behind it was Warwick.       

Edward remained silent as a heaving Richard told him the news, his words coming out in gasps from having raced to the office.

“It seems we will have a short stay in here after all,”

“They’re on their way to London,” Richard said, irritated by Edward’s calm attitude.

“Did they tell you where were they?” William remarked from his place on the desk.

“They stopped in Gloucester this morning, but if we waste any more time here it will be too late,”

“So it’s a horse race to London to see who gets there first,” Edward remarked in a dry tone, standing up and looking outside the office’s window, “I need a good number of men to come with me,” he turned to Richard, “God knows what we shall encounter on the road ahead,”

Richard nodded and immediately left the room. Edward needed to be protected, Richard would make sure of that.

They left as soon as they could, expecting to be joined soon by the Earls of Pembroke and Devonshire, who were very loyal to Edward. But after their prolonged absence on the road Edward and his escort had no choice but to continue without them. It was by sunset that they visualized shapes in the distance coming towards them, bearing the emblems of Pembroke. However, as the men came closer Richard knew that something had gone terribly wrong.

“Your grace,” one of them said hurriedly, as Richard reached them.

“Where’s your lord?” Richard asked as Edward also joined him in the middle of the field.  

“He’s been taken!”

“Taken?” Richard was alarmed, “What do you mean by that? Where’s Devonshire?”

 “There’s no time to explain! By now my lord of Pembroke will be dead, for your sake don’t go near Northampton, there’s been a terrible misunderstanding,” the soldier said, his heavy accent marking his words.  

Richard was shocked as he heard the man go on, with the words exchanged between his brother and the men muffling. It was a squeeze on his shoulder that made him face Edward, who bore a frown of worry, and that was such a rare thing to see on him-his ever composed and determined brother- that Richard remained disoriented.  

  “Did you hear what I said?”

  Richard paused, “What will you do?”

 “Just follow me and keep a tight watch on these men, it is times like these where loyalties can go as swiftly as they came,”

They left afterwards, intent on moving south with no delay. Despite Edward’s orders there was little to be done when the men of the escort started fleeing overnight in fear until only Richard, William and a few others were left with Edward. Things felt more helpless once Richard realized where Edward was heading. The pristine surface of River Ouse could be perceived from their distance, but whatever resolve they had of reaching London was gone when they faced the other side of the river. Several men in neat rows, with standards of the bear and the ragged staff raised high waited for them.    

  “I’ll be damned…” Richard heard William whisper as they stopped on their tracks. He looked over to Edward, who had his gaze fixed firmly on the crowd of men, clothed in crimson. Everything was so acutely still that one could think that the wind was no longer blowing, until the crowd slowly started to split like the waves of the red sea, making way for a man on a heavily adorned horse.

 “Your Grace, I am grateful to be able to meet you on such peaceful terms, I assure you that we have no intentions that go beyond those of conference,” George Neville, the Archbishop of York called from the other side.

 From the Neville brothers this was the one he had the least contact with. He was still a young man, carrying himself with confidence and refinement. Richard never remembered him like this.

 “Does the condition of conference involve a cavalry greeting as well the lives of two of my best men?” Edward replied, to which the Archbishop came closer to the border.

 “These things can be explained on a different setting your Grace, there is no need for more… misunderstandings,”

 Edward exchanged looks with William, who appeared very shaken.

  “With your consent I am willing to accompany you to meet with my brother Warwick, the rifts that have emerged between us can be fixed without violence, I’m sure we’ll be able to be united as we once were… and as we should always be,” the man continued, saying the last words very pointedly.   

  “Then I am afraid I have no choice but to be at your mercy,” Edward called out, mockingly putting his hands up in surrender. “I shall go with you on the condition that you let my brother and men depart with no repercussions,”

     “You have my word,”

 Richard rode and stood next to him, “What are you doing?” he hissed,

  “I am going with him, I know for now they mean no harm, but if I refuse to go with them this can easily turn into a bloodbath and nobody wants that,” Edward took a tight hold of Richard’s arm, “Go with William, things will be sorted out, I’ll make sure of that,” he paused, “I will see you soon, you trust me don’t you?” 

    Richard nodded reluctantly, he always relied on Edward’s judgment of things, but now he wasn’t so sure. Edward gave him a quick embrace before leaving and crossing the ford to join the Archbishop. They exchanged a few words before the Archbishop started leaving with Edward following him.

  Richard remained in the same place until Edward was out of sight.

***

“This uncertainty feels like a preview of purgatory,” William drew a card from his hands and put it on the center of the table, “What else shall we do? Slouch and play games all day?” he continued, setting down his cards, no longer willing to play.

Richard set down his own pack, “The only thing we can do is wait,” It had been a few days since he and William arrived at the latter’s manor in London. “Warwick will not harm Edward, he only wants the Rivers out of power,”   

 “That won’t happen,” William muttered under his breath as he gathered the cards and put them in a box, “Though I do find the purpose to be strangely agreeable,”

William never made secret of his dislike of the Rivers, not even in front of Edward. Richard couldn’t say that he was any different himself, but that never went as far as to will any of what was happening. His thoughts shifted to Queen Elizabeth, hiding with her little girls in the tower. His niece Bess’s birthday had passed already and he had yet to visit her.

“Despite the River’s unpopularity people will never accept George as king, goddamn bastard,” William continued, noticing that Richard’s face changed when he mentioned George, “I’m sorry,”

“For what? Can’t argue against the truth,” he said, standing up and going near a stand with drinks on top. “While the time remains until parliament, what else is there to do?” he said shaking a jug of wine to William before filling two tankards,

 “We can agree on that lad,” William said taking the offered drink with a smirk, “It’s strange, it was always me and Edward doing these things, now it’s you and me,” he paused, “with no idea of what will happen to him,”

“He always knows what to do,” _And I trust him,_ Richard wanted to add, “After tomorrow, Warwick will have no choice but to release him, all we have to do is wait and be ready to say what we must in parliament,”

  “Your faith in him is touching, really, but the real question is if you are ready to face them, Warwick and your brother I mean,”

  Richard paused before taking a drink, “Yes I am,”

***

William had gone off to sleep already but Richard couldn’t find the will to rest. He stared out his opened window, the damask curtains fluttering in the cool breeze. The contours of the city were tall, dark and fixed onto the dark blue sky; a laughter here, some chatter there, and houses and manors shadowed by the tower looming over them, like a ghost of great proportions.                 

There were a few lights around the tower, and his thoughts drifted again to the queen and her daughters. Was she scared? Were they all scared? Deciding that he wasn’t going to fall asleep any sooner Richard decided to go out. He would take a short walk and then come back.

His shoes made the slightest echo against the cobbles of the courtyard until he was out of the manor, chatter was becoming clearer and he found himself in a long street, filled with people, loud in volume and aquiver with activity. There was a fair; colorful banners were hanged overhead, there were merchants, both native and foreign talking, brawling or exchanging products, artisans were showing off their crafts and there were faint melodies from passing troubadours.

Richard pulled his cloak tighter around himself as he walked, taking in the sight and even entering some of the shops to take a look at all the trades. He couldn’t remember a time where he had been this close to the common people. There were fairs at Yorkshire but for the most part they were off limits to him and anyone in Warwick’s household. He stopped at this, thinking about Warwick brought a rush of anger, it was better not to think about him, or Middleham at all. But this only made his thoughts drift to Anne.

He hadn’t thought about her in a while, he still didn’t know anything about his cousin and how was she doing since his departure from Middleham, there was no correspondence from her to his letters and with what was happening Richard discarded the idea of sending her more. Did she think of him? Did she approve of her father’s actions? What did she think of her sister marrying George? He was sure she held no resentment over that, she would understand that he would never betray Edward. Whatever prospects that lay for both of them were limited to nothing more than distance and forgotten feelings.   

“Excuse me,”

“Huh? What?” Richard snapped out of his thoughts, realizing that he had wandered into a drafty building where people came and went. A girl with mousy hair and a bowl of food on her hands was smiling up at him, wearing mismatched clothing.

 “You seemed a bit adrift,”

 “Oh I’m sorry, I won’t bother you,” Richard moved to go out but she stopped him with a gesture,

 “You can stay if you want,” she said, to which Richard paused and took a good look at her and the place. He realized what this place was. There were shouts, laughter and drunken chatter coming from everywhere. As well as sights that made him blush furiously. Still, the open friendliness of the girl made him want to remain there without paying attention to what was going on.

 “Alright,” he smiled slightly, “I can stay for a while,”             

 “What’s your name? I’ve never seen you around here yet you look familiar,”

 “It’s Richard,” he said, then pausing, “what’s yours?”

 “Thisbe,”

 Richard raised his eyebrow,

 “I had peculiar parents,” 

 “I see,”

“Are you from a noble family or something of the sort? You don’t seem…common,” she said, eyeing his clothes. They were simple garments but Richard guessed that anything would seem extremely opulent to a woman of her station.

“Something like that,” he said, amused, “though this is hardly extravagant,” he said gesturing towards his clothes, unsure if he should tell her who he was.   

She took a good look at him, “You do seem familiar, but well, I guess I’ve seen so many different faces that it’s easy to confuse them,” she said.

“This place is never empty is it?” he said eyeing the room, she leaned back against the wall behind them, holding her pot tightly and looking at the crowd of people.

 “All sorts of people come here, and into our services too, at all times; young men, old men, rich nobles, peasants, husbands cheating, husbands who got cheated on, anyone really,” Richard snorted at her last remark,

“Is that so?”

“Though we rarely get men of your status,” she added.

“That must mean I’m pretty special,”  

“You certainly stand out,” she beamed at him, her eyes drifting to a brooch on his doublet, which he noticed.

“You like it?” he asked pointing at it.

“It’s quite lovely,”

He took it off, “May I?”

She paused, her eyes widening before nodding. Richard carefully pinned the brooch on her dress, until it clicked and it stayed fixed.

“There, now we’re equal”

“You are very kind Richard,” she said, grinning widely as she touched the brooch, “I certainly must repay you somehow”

“Nonsense, by miles it looks better on you,”

“What is it?” she said, referring to the brooch.

“It’s a sun,” he said, “the emblem of the king,”

“Oh it’s beautiful,” she said, looking at her new accessory, “I still say I must repay you somehow,”

 “Only the remainder of your company will be good enough,”

 She smiled, taking his hand, “I thought you said you would stay ‘only for a while’,”

 Richard smiled back, “I changed my mind,”

***  

William tapped his fingers impatiently against the table, until the entrance door was burst open by a disheveled looking Richard.

“Where the hell were you? I was already thinking the worst,” William fumed, his eyebrows raising at Richard’s appearance, he looked as he had returned from a marathon.  

“I know, I know,” Richard said, gasping, “Grill me later, just wait for me alright?”

 William turned his back to Richard, gripping the chair in front of him.

“I went to visit the queen earlier, just when I thought things couldn’t get worse Warwick throws more log into the fire,”

“What happened? What are you talking about?” Richard asked. William turned around.

“The queen’s father and brother were executed,”

“What?” Richard said in shock, the more he let the news sink in the more difficult it was to formulate words, “But- but how? Why would Warwick do that? Does Edward know?”  

 William shook his head, “There’s no time to explain, I hardly know the reasons behind all this, now go get cleaned up until you don’t look like you’ve been rolling around in a pile of shit, we’ll be late because of you,”

 Richard moved to leave, “Wait,” William called out, taking a bundle of papers on the table. “There’s some correspondence for you, the queen gave these to me, since Edward has no idea of our exact location this came to her,” he said as he handed him an envelope, “This one came here, it’s from your mother,” he said as he handed Richard another envelope.

 “Thank you, now just wait for me,”

 “I’m very tempted to leave your sorry ass in here but go on, I’ll wait,” William said, still angry.

 Richard rushed up the stairs and reached his room, immediately discarding his clothes, not bothering to find a servant to dress him but ordering a bath. It was quite an embarrassment, showing up warm, sore and hungover for everyone in William’s house to see.

He was determined to get ready as soon as he could, but while he was undressing he felt the need to get a glimpse at the letters, he picked up Edward’s envelope and opened it up. There he noticed a peculiarity, since another letter was pinned to Edward’s, and as soon as he got a glimpse of the cursive characters he recognized Anne’s writing.

He felt as if his heart had suddenly parted off its place and the heat of his tryst had frozen. How did this letter end up latched with Edward’s? Was there some kind of agreement between Edward and her? Richard almost smiled at the thought, he looked at her letter over and over again, as if he could somehow reach out to her by simply staring at her handwriting. There were many things running through his throbbing head but ultimately he decided to dwell on them later. As he stripped the last of his garments and sank his tired body in the warm water of the bath Richard remembered that parliament still awaited, and he knew he would stand for Edward at any cost.        

                             

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for any mistakes. It feels like it's been an eternity since I updated. ^^"


	26. Encounter

       A tawny cluster of leaves soared and dropped like a frenzied flock of birds, repeating the same loop over the cobbles of the inner yard. Richard took off his hat and set it on the space beside him, looking at his surroundings. He reached into his doublet and slipped out an envelope, carefully separating the edges where the crimson seal was already broken apart. He first read Edward’s letter, where he was assuring him of his well-being, how he trusted that things would be concluded with haste and hoped to see him soon.

  Richard folded the letter. He read it again, and again, it was just what he expected Edward to say, but there was no satisfaction in his assurance.  His days at William’s manor were passed in games, empty tidings from spies dispatched by Richard but loaded reports of uprisings all over London, many summons to parliament and most of all: waiting.  

_“I do not come here for my best interests but the ones of my brother the king, and by taking this stand I am also taking a stand for a kingdom overrun by civil war. The allegiance between us and our Neville kin transcends the time of Harry the sixth, but now it’s been reduced to an unfortunate and despicable turn where my brother, my and your deserving sovereign, is presently at the mercy of Lord Warwick, held prisoner by the same people he considered to be more than allies. Now my Lord of Warwick intends to live up to his king making ways again, but my brother George is only a mere puppet for him to rule through; the motive of my cousin and brother is enough to turn the head of the devil himself, for this is an attempt based on nothing more than treason and pursuit of power in the face of an anointed king, the one who has shown the highest favor to all of you and has served as your judge and companion on the battlefield and on common ground. I am confident that my resolve is shared in all of the people present, we have spent far too much time in aimless argument, which should serve as a reminder to you, George, that if you can’t command parliament then you certainly can’t command a kingdom, and for that I implore you to discard these foolish endeavors and return the king to us now.”_

 The words he had said at the most recent gathering of parliament might have sounded confident to those who lent their ears, but George’s expression had stilled something in him with apprehension, as if nothing would ever be the same between them. But Richard knew he had and would stand for Edward at any cost. He searched his mind and his surroundings for anything to stray his thoughts from that moment. His eyes looked down, and with a rush he remembered the other reason he had come to this secluded corner. His fingers brushed the dry ink of Anne’s letter. Richard inhaled, his worries replaced by a surge of anxiety and excitement as he got the paper out of its confine, and without another thought he started reading the letter as if he were not reading it at all.

    _“Dear Richard, I do hope this letter can reach you, for the idea of you thinking that I have purposely ignored you these past months would grieve me greatly. I am aware that these days have not been easy for you, they haven’t been for me either. I want to say so many things but none would surpass the need to tell you that I have missed you. I find myself musing far too much these days on how things were before, when were young and carefree. In one instant these thoughts bring me comfort but then I just want to forget them, because I know I’ll never get them back and I still fear for what may come in the future. My father has become a stranger to me and I wish I could do something to stop all of this, but I know I can’t. So many things have changed since you left, the atmosphere seems darker and I can’t find comfort in anything though Francis occasionally keeps me company, he is leaving soon with Anna, and Rob will also return to his land. I am happy for them but also sad at the prospect of not having them near me anymore. And asides from that we have had another misfortune to bear, for Harry, or “Scary Harry” as we called him has passed away. They buried him near our castle as he wanted, before he died he said that he had known no other home. Death remains such a mystery to me, this past Yule he had gifted me a lovely book he had purchased with his limited savings, and I’ll treasure it forever. He was a good man and I will not be over his abrupt passing any time soon. You must be wondering why do I respond to you now of all times, but you must know that my father had forbidden me correspond your letters. However, I found an unexpected friend in your brother, who’s now here with us. Perhaps I’ll explain at another time how I came to interact with him, for I surely have no place to be near his confines, but I found him such an easy person to talk to and I can assure you that he’s being treated well. He agreed to latch my letter onto his on my hopes that it would reach you as well, and I’ll forever be grateful to him for his generosity. These days have brought me grief and uncertainty, but I have high hopes that you’ll be reunited with your brother very soon. I don’t think I have to tell you that the reverse of our betrothal had devastated me, I’m afraid that it was meant to be that way much before we even knew it, but my main grief will always lie in the possibility of never seeing you again, for your friendship has always been one of the greatest joys I could ever have. Please take care Richard, and never forget that I’ll always have the most tender feelings towards you no matter what. Keep yourself in good health and in assurance of Edward’s safety, and may God preserve you.”_

The cluster of leaves caught Richard’s attention again, their spring tint suddenly reminding him of Anne’s hair. He crumpled the letter and opened it again, and he remained repeating the same action over and over again, his thoughts rushing with so many questions and feelings that he stood up and paced absentmindedly across the yard, not bothering to keep track of where he was going. Anne still thought of him, Francis was married, Rob would leave soon and Harry was gone. He scrunched up his eyes at this last thought. He wished he had been there for his passing. Now all he had were memories, fond memories, for the old man had been a part of his innocent and carefree days at Middleham.

The grass was coated in leaves that came and went with the wind, they crushed under his shoes as he paced in circles, only stopping suddenly to stare up at the afternoon sky, where streaks of rosy and cerise colors were spread along a surface of dark blue. 

“We’ll see each other again.” he said to no one in particular.

His name being called from inside the house interrupted his reverie, and he saw William standing in the doorway before he approached him slowly. As he came closer he realized that William was grinning from ear to ear, a parchment on his hands.

“Better pack up lad,” he said as Richard reached him. “Edward was released.” 

 ***                

    The environment felt very uncertain as the curvy shadows of York minster spread over Richard and the escort when they arrived. The place was crowded like a group gathering for an awaited hanging or a coronation, but evidently, this wasn’t a hanging or a coronation but an upside down picture, a king in jeopardy ready to get his crown returned in the form of a cacophony of cheers, as he arrived through the intricate archway.     

Edward rode forth, clothed quite humbly but smiling and waving, followed by the Archbishop, and many others. His etiquette lay forgotten as he quickly got off from his horse to greet Richard with an embrace.

“Welcome back brother,” Richard said in a muffled voice against his doublet.

Edward moved and held him at arm’s length, “I’m here in great part thanks to you, I’m proud of you Richard,”

 Richard returned his sentiment with a squeeze of his shoulder, “We shall return to London as soon as we can, your wife is eagerly awaiting you,”

Edward’s face lit up notably as soon as Richard mentioned her,

“Oh for God’s sake, save that dumb look for her,” Richard rolled his eyes and Edward laughed out loud

“Ever the glum one Richard, do not be so hasty, I still have some people to greet here,”

“Go ahead, waiting’s become my specialty,”

 Edward walked away, drowned by the crowd and Richard remained behind, smiling to himself. He was alone, William was probably inside the building. There was a lot of rabble inside, where people came and went and greeted each other. He saw familiar faces as he passed the entrance, but then his eyes stayed fixed onto the beautiful painted scenes displayed across the roof of the nave, which had taken such a hold of him and his sense of direction that he bumped into someone.

“Hey be care- good Lord, Richard!”

Richard faced Isabel, who gaped at him, uncertain of what to do and eventually settling for a hug.

“Isabel, it’s- it’s good to see you,” he said uncertainly as they separated, what was she doing here? He knew Warwick and George were here but he didn’t expect to see Isabel.

“Where my husband goes I go,” she said simply with a smile, “We have missed you Richard, how are you?”

“Only relieved that my brother is finally back,”

Isabel’s smile weakened, “Of course, of course,” she said, “I hope this hasn’t inspired any antagonism between yourselves and my husband,”

Richard narrowed his eyes, “I can’t be sure of that Isabel, but you can be certain that your father and my brother are pardoned with no further effects,”

“Yes,” she sighed, “though surely the queen won’t like that,”

 “It won’t matter what she thinks, Edward seeks peace not further confrontations over power as some others do,”

Isabel’s mouth narrowed into a thin line, as she knew he referred to her father. She nodded tersely, “We all want peace, and we need it…” she trailed off, “I need it now more than ever,” she said as her hands rested on her stomach,

Richard eyed her curiously and Isabel returned his stare with a smile, “I’m with child,”

 She laughed as Richard widened his eyes, “God cousin, don’t look so shocked!”

 “No, no, of course not,” he said, smiling and embracing her again. His thoughts drifted back to his days at Middleham when she was still a young girl, first playing with her dolls, then dancing happily on the feast on her twelfth birthday, and finally running after George the day of his departure. That girl was now pregnant, that girl was no longer a girl but a woman. And George, George would be a father.

“Congratulations Isabel, I truly wish you all the best,”

“Thank you Richard,” she said, smiling with her hands clasped over her belly.

 His name was called by Edward, who stood over the entrance, gesturing for him to get there. After saying goodbye to Isabel, he made his way to his brother, thinking along the way on how happy she seemed to be, which gave him a hint of jealousy, for George seemed to be very much in love with Isabel and assured in it, and had done the impossible to be with her while he didn’t do the same for Anne. He was far too unsure of the extent of his own feelings, the feelings that surfaced at a certain coronation though by God, that image of the future he had carried for years seemed to be truly wonderful. As he looked at Edward he realized that fighting for that image was not possible, since betraying his brother would be like betraying himself, he'd rather face death.

“Enjoying yourself?” Richard asked as he came near Edward.

“Hardly, I felt like I would actually die by getting trampled with this crowd,”

Richard took two goblets of wine from a passing servant, giving one to Edward,

“To what brother? To your safety?” Richard asked raising his goblet.

“Safety? Bah! They might as well escort me back in chains, there’s never any safety in kingship,” Edward said, raising his own goblet, “To peace, to absent friends, and to a quick death,” he said, as they both finally drank from their goblets.

“I saw you were talking to Isabel,” Edward said, taking another swig.

“Yes, can you believe it? She’s so soon with child,”

“Our brother didn’t waste his time with his pretty wife now, nor do I think he wasted it before either,” Edward remarked, staring behind Richard as the latter raised his eyebrow and snorted.

“She was quite happy,” Richard said, his smile suddenly fading, “God, I didn’t ask her how Anne was doing,” he said in sudden realization, looking around to see where Isabel was.

 Edward laughed, “You truly don’t realize how many people are here today do you?” he said to a confused Richard, staring again across the entrance, “why don’t you ask Anne herself?” he remarked as he turned his brother around.

       Richard felt his heart hammering as he stared across the courtyard, where Anne was standing, talking with an older man and nodding her farewell. Anne was here and he didn’t even suspect it. She looked taller, her hair no longer loose but held up in braids and nets. It was a wonder that even by so few months Anne was growing fast too. She made her greeting from person to person as she came towards the entrance, where she raised her eyes and suddenly stood frozen as she saw Richard, their expressions mirroring each other in their alarm. But that alarm quickly dissolved into joy as they ran towards each other and collided in the midst of the crowd, earning a few curious and amused glances, though none more than Edward, who guffawed and took another cup of wine from a confused servant and walked away.

            “It’s good to see you again Dickon.” she gasped.

    He only held her tighter and higher from the ground.

            “It’s good to see you too Annie.”            

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Pardon for any mistakes.  
> I wanted to give them a little reunion *-* this is finally coming towards an end *hallelujah chorus*  
> I'll try my best to update soon ^^ Cheers!


	27. High Hopes

“I never thought I’d be a witness to this, now I’m only relived that it’s over,” Anne said.

They were sitting in an alcove after talking for a good amount of time, facing a stained glass window that reflected the remains of a scarlet afternoon. Richard realized downheartedly that the party would have to leave at any minute now.

“For the time being at least,” he muttered.

“No, this has to be the last time, my father would never risk the mercy he’s been shown,”

A mercy he didn’t show Lord Herbert, or Lord Rivers and his son, Richard thought.

“I’m afraid he would, when you’re in an environment as the one I’m in you get a fair gift for judging people’s motivations,”

She pressed her lips together, something she always did when she was upset.

“It doesn’t compare to when those same people are your family,” There was a waver in her self-assurance but Richard could still see her partiality to her father. It was better not to press on the matter further, he didn’t want to fight with her after not seeing her for so long.

“You’re right, you know him better,” he said after a moment.

She looked down in silence, a troubled look on her face.

“I need to have that assurance, as does my sister, did you see her Richard?” she asked with a sudden smile, “I’m going to be an aunt already,”

“I did see her,”

“She and George look happy in spite of everything,” she leaned her head against the window, her skin multicolored by the reflection of the stained glass, “I was so confused when we suddenly moved to Calais, with only the knowledge that my sister was going to be married, somehow…” she trailed off, “somehow I thought that you’d be there, and that father would do something for me too,”

He pursed his mouth, she had hoped that her father would get them both married the same way he did Isabel and George, clueless of his true intentions.   

“Anne,” he said as she avoided his gaze, there were still so many things left unsaid, he saw that right now, “I was just as disappointed as you when our arrangement was called off,”

She shook her head, “That doesn’t matter anymore,”

“It does to me,”

There was a red sun ray that stretched across her face, merging into the strands of fiery hair that escaped from their braids and nets.   

“It’s better to get past that,” she said, “I did…my main grief will always lie in being so far away from you, things won’t be the same, they never have been since you left.”

Richard turned his eyes downwards, stroking her hand faintly. He looked out through the transparent of the window, noticing how the escort was slowly gathering together.

The loud pitch of a trumpet made Anne jump slightly, the action making them both stare at each other and then laugh heartily at her expression. However, their smiles faded quickly, for they knew that the quick fanfare meant that Edward was to leave soon.

Anne stared at Richard with some sort of helplessness, and he couldn’t find anything else to do but bring her to him and hold her for the remainder of whatever time they had left.  

***

 The return to London was loaded with great cheer for Richard and Edward as both brothers rode steadily beside each other; the moving icons of their house. William was riding just a step behind them, relief very apparent on his face. Richard was quiet, his mind lingering on his encounter with Anne.

 “I already feel ulcerated with so much riding, all I want is a bed to only sleep and forget,” Edward said as they came closer to the Tower of London.

 “Your wife would be disappointed to hear that,”  

 “I could strike you across the face if we weren’t in public,” Edward said at William’s bawdy jest, the latter only ignored him.  In the distance watch guards were hastening around the gate of the tower, raising Edward’s standards and making ready to open the gate for him and his brother.

 Edward turned to look at Richard every now and then. For all the limited fanfare from the town he noticed how his brother appeared more down than usual, and he knew why.

“What’s the matter Richard?” he asked, “You haven’t said a word since we departed,”

“What? I’m sorry, the journey has me tired,”

“Hopefully we’ll be able to find diversion from all this damn bustle,”

 At that William gave a laugh, “Your brother surely found some while you were away,”

 Edward raised his eyebrow, “Is there something I don’t know about?”    

 Richard glared at both of them, not saying a word.

 “Come on tell him Richie,” William said, enjoying how uncomfortable he was making Richard. “Tell him how you spent the night before parliament,”

“This can’t be possible!” Edward exclaimed.

 Richard only scowled and pursed his mouth into a thin line, his mood now completely ruined.

“It’s only a shame you weren’t a witness to the historic moment,” William said.

“A true shame indeed!” Edward laughed loudly.  

“I can even imagine a written record about it, ‘The morning the duke of Gloucester appeared in parliament hot and limp from a brothel,’ " William said with his hand held above as if imagining the headline, resulting in more laughter from both men as Richard flushed in embarrassment.

He guessed the issue of losing one’s virginity was something men usually boasted about. While his experience with the girl of that night had been pleasant he found it of poor taste to boast about such a thing.

“Well Richard, I guess there’s nothing for me to arrange since you took matters into your own hands,” Edward laughed at him, thoroughly amused at his brother’s chagrin. Both men continued to jest over an unamused Richard until they finally arrived at the steps of the tower. The grooms took care of their horses and the steps of the wing were soon crowded by the Queen followed by her daughters and relatives as they hurried down to greet Edward. 

His previous embarrassment lay forgotten as he regarded Edward greeting his wife and bouncing his daughter Bess in the air while little Mary wrapped her little arms on one of his legs. This warm picture awoke a strange yearning in Richard suddenly, and made him wonder if he would ever be able to fit such an image in his own life.  

Such thoughts brought Anne into his mind again.

The queen’s sons were also there, their greetings to Edward and Richard very formal but their relief also notable. A movement in the background caught his attention and he noticed that Lady Katherine, the girl that Lord Howard had introduced to him, was standing quietly with the other ladies in waiting, only giving him a brief glance of recognition.

Little Bess had endeared every person in the place as she gave Edward a clumsily made wreath of flowers to use as a bracelet, which Edward received with all the delight he could muster. Richard didn’t expect for his niece to give him another wreath her little hands had woven just for him.

“Do you like it uncle?” she asked as hopefully as she had done with her father.

“Why of course I do Bessie, I’ll always wear it from now on,” he said modeling the wreath on his wrist in front of her wide blue eyes.  

“You swear it?”

“I swear it,”

“You really swear it?”

“I really swear it,” he said, playfully putting his hand on his chest as if he was making an oath.

“You really really swear it?”

“I really really really really swear it” he said exaggeratedly, making Bess and everybody laugh in the place as he stood up. He glanced in Katherine’s direction where she stood smiling faintly at him.

After more exchanges between the group they went inside the building, and Richard stood outside for a moment, only then noticing that Edward had also remained behind.

“I apologize for me and William teasing you back there, sometimes we just can’t help ourselves” Edward said.

“I think you mean that you can’t ever help yourselves,” Richard replied dryly, making Edward laugh faintly.

“I know you’re still feeling down Richard, and you can’t pretend that I don’t know why it is,”

“You do?”

“I met your cousin, though you obviously know that,” Edward said, “I found her to be as lovely as you made her out to be, it is not every day where you find so much kindness stored in one person,”

Richard blinked his eyes, Edward’s words were making him feel more upset for some reason.

“I wanted her Edward,” he said out of nowhere, he needed to.

“I know you think things are hopeless when it comes to her, but…” Edward faltered, marveling at the things he had to do sometimes to please people, “Perhaps I can change that,”  

The alarm in Richard’s face was palpable, and Edward chuckled in amusement. “Well if the idea is so horrifying don’t feel obligated then,”

“Do you truly mean it?” Richard asked

“I tend to keep my word,” Edward said, winking at him.

“Edward,” a feminine voice said. They both turned to see Queen Elizabeth on the doorway, staring expectantly at her husband. Edward went away without a word and Richard was left by himself.

He got Anne’s locket out of his shirt and stared at her miniature portrait. There was hope and he wouldn’t give up just yet.  

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is coming to an end, expect like three more chapters and it's done! *whew*  
> Thank you for reading! This has helped me grow as a writer so much but I'm glad to be finishing it. ^^"

**Author's Note:**

> If you noticed, I portray Anne as a ginger, for some reason I always imagine her as a red head (sources say that she had either red or black hair) Pardon the inaccuracies ahead.  
> Lyrics in the summary are from the Temper Trap song 'Sweet Disposition'.


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